Teresa's blog.

2011

2011-12-27T19:30:00.000-08:00

I can't even describe my main feeling that this year will be over.. maybe relief. It started off good.
found out I was having another baby and while we kept it a secret we were faced with
overwhelming stress. Our Maggie was in a car accident and died. To me it just wasn't possible. I spent most the day
talking with her over facebook. and then she was gone. she was like Brian's baby sister. I can't imagine losing two
people in my life in a cat accident.

I was able to finally tell people I was pregnant. But I started to feel sick. just not well in a way I didn't think was right. I had gestational diabetes, preeclampsia (again) and too much amniotic fluid. Payton was finally born only to find she needed to be in the NICU for 9 days and
step down for 4. Finally we get her home and Cole hits his head so hard that night. An ambulance ride and 5 stitches later. I was
scared this time he would have a head bleed. (he hit his head in July too and an ER trip there)
on my 35th birthday (10 days after the incident with Cole) I'm riding in an ambulance from an urgent care because
Caden oxygen level is only in the 80's! He had pneumonia and was breathing 60 min! he ended up on PICU! 5 days later he was home, but not after a lot of deals with God. the first night he was so bad I thought he was going to be intubated.
I finally thought it was over and then Grandma! something wasn't right! she was getting tired and weak. I brought her to the hospital and she was admitted. the next day she died! it was so sudden I don't know what happened, though I do know. I feel I don't understand it! Yes she was old but was fine and then just gone. my mom and I were with her when she died. Brian's grandfather hasn't been doing well as of late.
we have had a rough go of things. We had a good Christmas with just us and the kids. they are all healthy now and hopefully stay that way. hopefully the new year will mark a new begining of good things to come!

Payton Melissa was born on 9-19-11. Named for Walter Payton and my sister Melissa who died in a car accident.
she is doing so much better now! she is so beautiful and for 3 months old, very chatty and loves to smile. her smile is so amazing!
and her eyes! I am so much in love and so jealous of her and my sons for their beautiful eyes and long thick eyelashes!
I only pray for the best for all of them! they are truly the loves of my life! God has blessed me even through the stress I can see that!

Long Time

2011-07-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

With facebook being so easy to update, I haven't written here in a long time.
The boys are now 3 months shy from being 4. Cole is an endless story teller. Caden is a man of action and silliness. In about 2-3 months from now, we will be adding a new edition to our family. A little baby girl! :)

We have been so incredibly busy with everything going on in our lives. Mostly with the boys. They exhaust me. They are opinionated and stubborn. They have a great sense of humor and love to laugh and be silly. I love that about them. They are so active too! They are becoming baseball pros (working on hitting without a tee and catching and throwing) and are already as of last year, bike riding pros! We haven't spent a lot of time near water, but maybe over the winter we can work on becoming swimming pros. We have a YMCA right across the street.

We have traveled a bit more with them since I last posted. We have taken them to Boston to see Daddy run the Boston Marathon. We have taken them to Florida to Disney world. We are contemplating a trip to Vancouver/Seattle area maybe sometime next year. Not sure yet. It is a place I would love to see and I think they would love!

The boys are very excited about their little sister Payton, soon to be arrival. They hug and kiss my belly daily. They tell Payton they love her. I only hope they continue this when she arrives. :) Her name will be Payton Melissa Whittaker. Named for Walter Payton:) and my sister Melissa of course.

Hopefully I can post again soon after Payton is born. :) WIth lots of pictures!

The boys are 2 today!

2009-10-17T19:51:00.001-07:00

I can't believe my precious little angels are 2 today! How fast time goes by!! We had a party for them today! It was a success! We got to see everyone and spend time with them. They are fast asleep now. WHich is where I'm going to be soon:) Thanks so much to everyone!

What a year it has been! And we are only 22 days into it!

2009-01-22T16:59:00.001-08:00

The start of the year has been non-stop craziness for me. First I would like to start off with congratulating Keith and Lexi on the New Years Eve marriage! It was a great time all around. They were married at Trinity Cathedral downtown and the reception was at the Terrece Club at "Progressive (Jacob's) Field" We bought in the new year.. and staying up till 2am made me realize how old I was. But earlier that day I woke up a bit dizzy and not feeling well. The next day, New Years (no I wasn't drinking either) I wasn't the only one feeling it. Poor lil' Caden looked miserable. He was stuffed up and later that night he was having a terrible time breathing. I knew something wasn't right earlier in the week. We had taken him to the ER because he vomited his bottle up like the exercist! He also had a fever and light rash. They said he had a cold and right ear infection. Gave him antibiotics. On New Years day he had a terrible rash all over his body. I was going to take him back to the ER but Brian made me wait. We got a first appointment into the doctors. By this time Caden's breathing was worse, he was wheezing and had a double ear infection. The doctor gave him a breathing treatment to see if it helped. If it didn't Caden was going to be admitted to the hospital. Luckily, he got better and I guess I can say, lucky I have asthma. I have a breathing machine at my house already. So the doctor ordered him every 4 hour breathing treatments. That night, Cole's breathing got worse as well. I started breathing treatments on him and took him in the next day. Same thing as Caden... ear infection and bronchiolitis. Which is caused by RSV. Something I tried to keep away them from in the last year. Thank God I had equipment at home to deal with this here. It saved us a trip to the hospital for both boys. I was pretty anal about their breathing treatments being every 4 hours. After a few days, they were both on the mend and breathing 100 times better. I, on the other hand, got very ill myself with the same illness. It lasted about 4 days. I missed a whole weekend of work, which I didn't want to do with my upcoming trip to Arizona.
Which leads me there. We took the boys on their first plane trip to Arizona. They took their first bus trip to the rental car place. They saw the Grand Canyon, went to Pinnacle Peak restaurant, the biggest steak house in the world. (It can hold 3000 people) They stayed in the first hotel and watched daddy coach in a marathon. We had a lot of fun with Chad and Tracy as well. We were there when the Cardinals beat the Eagels to get into the superbowl. THe warm weather felt so good. We left Cleveland and it was 1 degree. It was a bit freaky landing and taking off. I kept thinking that the plane was going to skid. But we are all good!

Then Tuesday after we got back, the 20th, Barak Obama became president. It was just the best. I kept the boys awake (from their nap time) to watch it even though they won't remember it at all. Chad and Tracy stayed over to watch it since they didn't have to be anywhere the next day. It was so inspiring to see. It made me want to cry. I did feel bad for President Bush. I may not like him, but I feel most the time that he was a scapegoat for men behind the scene pulling the strings. Almost like he was the dummy and they were the puppet masters. Poor guy.
I'll add pics of our trip and the wedding soon.

The boys are growing so fast!!!

2008-12-02T16:32:00.000-08:00

Boys are moving!

2008-12-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

Walking

2008-11-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Caden has been walking this week. My mom worked with him on Friday and now he is walking about 15 feet. He is wobbly, but it is so cute. Everytime he walked across the room, I would clap and say, "Yeaaaa!!!" And then Cole would mock me, do and say the same thing. It was too cute!! Caden was so proud. He would smile, turn himself around using the table and then make his way back to me. I can't believe how big they are getting. I'm trying to get them to talk, but still realize they are about 2 months behind. So it's already. I'm not stressing as much as I was before when I was a straight up loon. I can still be a little looney when it comes to them.

My votes for Obama

2008-11-04T04:03:00.000-08:00

I can't wait to vote later! I'll be voting for Barak Obama. I can't wati to see history unfold today.. I'm feeling kind of sad though. I wish that Obama's grandmother lived through the week to see what happened. I have good feelings for today and I feel that he will have a speical angel looking down on him.:)
Our thoughts and prayers are with them today for more than one reason!

The Twinfants are 1!

2008-10-20T03:52:00.000-07:00

The boys birthday was Friday Oct 17th. We had a party with the entire family on Saturday. We cooked and cleaned and got our house ready! We were busy and stressed. But the day turned out great! The boys got dressed in their costumes. The other kids came in theirs and they were so incredibly cute!!! The boys got nice gifts and there is no way we can thank everyone enough for the great gifts. The boys are using them as I write.
It has been a crazy year. It seems like a whirlwind. I mean last year I was so worried hoping they would survive. They were intubated at this time last year needing the help to breath. This year when people see them they tell me, "Wow, they are big for 1 year olds!" They are tall I think, but a little on the skinny side. Their 12 month old pants still slide down of them. When they crawl, it is sooo funny seeing their pants end up around their ankles and their little diaper butt in the air. I remember how tiny they were in my arms. I could hold them both with no problems. Now it is so difficult when they are both whining and trying to climb on me to be held. (which I'll admit, as difficult as it is, I like it. It warms my heart!) I feel so blessed. Thanks everyone!
Here are so picture.

An old friend

2008-10-13T16:59:00.001-07:00

This Myspace and Facebook is an amazing thing. A few years ago when I got on Myspace, I thought it was great. I still do think it is a good thing. I got a message on Myspace from a girl that I was friends with in 6th grade. Her name is Susie. After 6th grade she moved to Bristol, CT. I lost touch with her. She found me on Myspace. She works for ESPN. She is in town tonight for the Monday night Browns game. I got to see her for the first time since 6th grade. We caught up a bit. The 3 hours we were together last night went too fast and didn't seem long enough. I hope that maybe when we are in Boston we could get to see her. We will be going there quite often in our life so I'm sure there will be a time we can visit with her.
It was great catching up and reconnecting with someone who meant a lot fo me in my youth.

SCARED TO DEATH!

2008-10-12T13:16:00.000-07:00

So last night around 3:30 in the AM, I'm sound asleep. All of the sudden I hear very loudly, music playing from the Juno soundtrack. It is coming from the boys room. They have a radio and cd player in their room. We haven't played that CD in over a week. So I thought that maybe Brian heard them fussing and I didn't and turned on the CD. ( a little too loudly) He had fallen asleep watching a movie downstairs. So I go and see that he is sleeping and find that he never turned the radio on. The boys of course didn't because it is way too high even for me to reach. ANd they are too little to know how. I asked Brian if there was a remote that maybe the boys got a hold of in their crib and rolled on it. (They were sound asleep through all of it) . There isn't a remote. SO HOW THE HELL DID THE CD PLAYER COME ON BY ITSELF? My only theory is is that the last time we had it on, we may have pushed pause instead of turning it off. I'm thinking if it was on pause and not stopped that it might have finally come off of pause. Our DVR does that after maybe a half hour on pause. I was freaking out. Then I wondered if it was my friend Marcus who passed away. I was talking to Brian about how ithas already been 4 years now since he passed. He died shortly after we were engaged. I was telling him that in the boys room last night while we were getting the boys ready for bed. And we discussed the fact that the boys due date was Marcus's actual birthday. I think his spirit could've done it. He is someone that would think it is funny to scare me! And then I wondered if it was my sister. She would also think it is funny to scare me and maybe she wanted to peak in on her nephews and play them some soothing music. If it was any of them, I wish I could know. It freaks me out. Like I wonder, what if it was something evil? I don't think it would be. But maybe we need to get our house blessed. If anyone has any other options let me know.

Anyway, today is my birthday. My dad stopped by and bought me a cool present. Well, he didn't buy it, he made it. It is a wine rack. And an amazing one. I'll have to get a pic of it to show everyone. I think he should make and sell these. It is now hanging in my kitchen! It has 3 bottles of wine in it now! I think a lot of people are going to want one when they see it at the boys party next weekend. I can't wait for the party! It will be fun! Brian, of course got me the best present! The photo shoot of the boys!

Don't hate us because we're beautiful!

2008-10-11T19:08:00.001-07:00

The boys will be 1 year old in 6 days! I'm so excited! I think about what I went through last year and where I was at this time. In the hospital, trying to keep our sons in my belly longer! They were like a medium rare at the time they were born. I was trying to get them to medium well at least, if not well done!:) They first tried to arrive to the world "rare", but I was able to "cook" them longer. (I think this is a good way to help describe it.)
I can't believe a year has gone by already. We went through so much and they have changed so much in one year. It's almost so easy to forget the beginning because they've changed so much. (Though I won't because the beginning was a rough one!)
They are little men now. So cute! They are getting their personalities. They know what they want.
For my birthday, Brian surprised me. He took the boys to get professional pics taken. He took me to go choose the ones I liked the best!
They were taken at Portraits Innovations.

Here they are!:)

NKOTB

2008-10-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just don't know what to say about the New Kids on the Block concert I attended last night. Basically it was amazing! I know all you haters are gonna talk crap because it is New Kids. For about 2 hours, I forgot about everything else in my life. Which would be the first time in almost 2 year. (while being pregnant and being a mom) I was with Destiny, Megan and Kerry. The minute they came out, I was instantly a 14 year old girl again. (I wish I still had that figure!) I wasn't a mom, I wasn't a wife, I wasn't a nurse. I was just a "girl" who was seeing her favorite band from her youth. (for the first time in 20 years I realized) They were so amazing and it felt like they hadn't been away for 15 years. It felt like it did the first time I seen them, but better. They were my first concert like many girls my age. I saw them at Blossom with my mom, my aunt, my sisters and cousin. It was wet. It rained the whole time. ANd we were so far in the back, we could barely make out the dots on stage. THis concert we were right next to the stage! We were probably 10-15 ft from anyone of them that came to our side of the stage. We were close enough to them to be able to tell that they all got better looking with age. I told my friends that the one thing I wish Brian would do better is dance. Seeing thesee 5 guys in their late 30's- early 40's dancing around like that made me wish that Brian would like to do that more. He hates dancing because he can't do it well. It was something that I loved to do and was pretty good at. I would go downtown a few nights a week just to go dancing. Not to drink or anything. I just wanted to dance. I would go for about 4 hours and just dance. That was basically my exersice. It's not really practical to do now the way I used to. I have to admit my feet are killing me. I haven't worn heels in a long time let alone dance in them. IT was more than worth it though. They started off with their new song "Single" which is my favorite song of the year. They ended it with Hangin Tough and sang a bunch of old favorites and new ones. I feel on a high right now. It was nice to be reminded of my youth.
Now I'm going to spend some time playing with my youths:) They are getting soo cute and starting to walk more this week with help.

Growing up

2008-09-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

So it's 6am and I can't sleep. I've been up for about an hour now. I'm watching Behind the Music Live with New Kids on the Block that I DVR'd last night. It is showing them live from Boston, which is great because I will be seeing them this Friday. I'm looking to about where my seats are and I'm afraid I won't be able to see now.. We are 8 rows up from the side of the stage. I won't think they would pupt people where they can't see, but then again my sister and I paid the most for tickets ever to see Madonna in Detroit. We got there and found out we should've just got HBO for the year and it would've been cheaper than those shitty seats! We had to watch her from the screen because a black curtain blocked our view completely. We only saw about 1/10 of the stage. But then the Q is probably a bit different from the Garden and I think it will be fine.
In watching their history, it made me laugh. When I was a kid and in love with each one of them at a different time (Donnie and Jon were my favorites though, talk about totally different personalities) I remember having all these pre-teen romantic fantasies about them. Every girl has! Pre-teen girls have these crazy little idea in their head about what love is. And I know I can speak for me, but in my innocence, the most I dreamed of is being kissed by one of them. (especially Donnie or Jon) Now that I'm an adult (as many other fans are now) and with experience, you can look at them now and see things from a totally different view. I won't elaborate, but I know my married girlfriends can vouch for being able to fantasize about them in a whole different way, especially Donnie!:)(Not that I spend time doing that, but when I am watching them dance on stage I kind of can't help it) I just find it funny how in over 20 years as a fan, how my views have changed. I think as a pre-teen I spent all my time thinking of them. As an adult, I'm excited, but so many other things take up my time. Work, family. Now seeing them is a kind of vacation from my reality. (I love my life, but it is just a break from it) So then watching them makes me feel like a teenager again, but with adult views. How times change! I wonder who my kids are going to like. And I wonder if our next child is a little girl, who she is going to adore growing up.
I hear the babies stirring. I'm going to go!:)

1st hair cut for the buddies

2008-09-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

our new look. Aren't we good lookin?

Caden

Cole

Caden getting his hair cut... both boys were soooo good

Aunt Christy cutting Coles hair

A GREAT DAY!!

2008-09-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day.. It is our 3rd anniversary and also the 11th anniversary of when my sister passed away. We started our day out with a french toast breakfast. Then we went to the cemetery for a lunch and to spend time with "Missy". Perry Cemetery is really beautiful! Brian and I talked a bit about how someday we will be buried there next to my sister. Sad thought, but comforting knowing it will be a beautiful, peaceful place. Then we went over to Patterson where we met my sister Christy and my niece Nikya. We took pics in a pumpkin patch, went through a corn maze and picked apples. Afterward we went to Nikya's (and mine) favorite place, Olive Garden, for dinner. We returned home to take the boys for a walk in the cool cars that Grammy Dudich got for them. They love their cars and have such a blast!! It was a perfect day! And now I'm going to go to sleep next to my handsome husband of 3 years!:)

Being a mom

2008-09-12T19:10:00.001-07:00

Brian and I were playing with the twins yesterday. It was nice little afternoon. Caden and Cole are getting so big so quickly. If they get any more cute, I'm going to have to quit my job and be home all the time. When I'm at work, I think about their cute faces all day. They are learning and changing so much everyday. I think it is so wonderful being a mom. Wish I would've done it even sooner! Cole is so smartand examine things carefully. Caden has such an adventurous spirit! They learn from each other and you can tell they love each other. THey laugh at each other, touch each other lovingly. They bully each other sometimes, just as all siblings do. It brings me a joy I could never have really understood before watching them grow. It makes me excited about our next child (or 2, who knows). I love having our family. I have a great husband and partner in Brian. He is a great dad! He cherishes the boys and being a father as much as I love being a mother. It's the best decision we ever made I think. I'm so thankful everyday to God for givng me those 2 wonderful gifts!

9/11

2008-09-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm watching a tv show on the History Channel called 102 Minutes That Changed America. It is video about the 102 minutes during 9/11 taken from regular cameras. People in their apartment. People on the street. News people in different parts of the city. Just the reaction of those people who witenessed it first hand and were able to capture it on tape. It is just amazing! It is bringing me back to that day when you could only imagine what New Yorkers were going through. You actually get to see it. I saw from one camera a fire truck going to the towers from Times Square. It made me wonder if any of those men died. It's like you are watching them go tho their deaths. It shows people jumping from the windows. You never really realize what a steady stream of jumpers their really were. I can only imagine how hot it was. If I had to choose, I may choose to jump instead of being burned alive. But what do you think about on your way down? Those 10 seconds, what flashes thorugh your head? Would I pray? Would I think about how I would never see my beautiful sons grow up? Would I pray to God to take me in his arms? I think about watching those planes go into the buildings. People who had loved ones on those planes, especially the second one, witnessed their loves one moment of death. I think about my sister. I was their when she died. But I never saw the actual cause of her death. But I play over in my head the moment that she died and the time I spent holding her hand. I couldn't imagine seeing my sisters accident or thinking that she burned alive. It kills me. I think of the heros that were lost. I'm seeing firefighters here and police about to go into the buildings and wonder if they had died. I wonder if this will be sold on DVD. I would like to own it. Only to show my kids and grandchildren some day. Amazing footage! I think that Pearl Harbor was like this for our Grandparents. But they never witnessed what really happened. Maybe they saw a few pictures and read about it in the newspaper. It never unfolded in front of their eyes unless they were actually there themselves. It was thousands of miles away. And most people didn't know for a day or two after it even happened. We had these tramatic pictures from the minute it started. Even security footage of the Pentagon crash! It's no wonder why so many people have anxiety now a days.
I won't forget 9/11 for as long as I live. I remember watching the 2nd plane crash into the 2nd building as I watched the 1st one smoking from the fire. I remember being in a nursing home for clinicals with my friend Cindy and my fellow nursing students watching it all. I remember how beautiful that day was because I thought to myself before I got to my clinicals, "What an amazingly beautiful day! Too bad I have to spend it here!" I saw a plane in the sky and wondered where those lucky people were going. I remembered seeing the second plane crash into the building and my heart inside screamed. We were send home because the school closed so we couldn't stay in clinicals. I went home and watched worried about my friend Ben who lived in NY at the time. I remember driving to be with Brian to watch the news that evening. There weren't any cars on the street really. Cleveland was a ghost town. I was so sad for the week to follow. Our hole country came to a halt! It was just such an experience. Brians cousins were suppose to be coming in from Ireland on the 12 or 13th I believe. They didn't come for over 2 weeks later. I would've never come if I were them considering what just happened.
I remember going to a 311 concert about 2 weeks later. I remember the lead singer talking a bit about 9-11. The whole crowd just started chanting U.S.A over and over for about 5 minutes. I started to cry a bit. That year for halloween I went as the statue of Liberty. I got a lot of compliments and people wanting to take their pic with me that year. It was touching how America bonded together. I don't think I eer felt more patriotic. I don't think anyone did. For once our country wasn't divided.
I'm going to go to bed now. I just wanted to let everyone that those who were lost and their families were in my prayers.

Sarah Palin- I just don't get it!

2008-09-06T17:30:00.000-07:00

I don't understand the hype with Sarah Palin. If people really took at look at her, they would be horrified that she is the running mate of McCain. A man who could possibly not make it through 1 term of a Presidency due to his age and health.
Sure she is a great symbol of an American woman. Someone with a career and family. But the truth is is that I think the only people like her or are hyped about her is because she is a woman. If people really think about her experience instead of her being a woman, they would probably find a reason to panic if they are actually elected. I read an editorial in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The author made a great point. Being Govenor of Alaska is like being the Mayor of Columbus. The population of Alaska is 670,000. Population of Columbus 747,700 people. This author also said that being the mayor of Wasilla is like being a mayor to Ravenna, except that Ravenna has 1400 more people. What experience would she have to run a country of 305,986,357 people? Ohio State University has more graduate students than the city she was mayor of! She has only been Govenor for a year and half. I think she needs more experience. Plain and simple. The only reason people are excited is because she is a woman. If a man with her experience was up for a VP nod, I think everyone would rip them apart. They would think it is some sort of joke! I am so nervous at the idea if they were to win, we may be simply screwed! Way worse off than even with Bush! And I think he totally f-ed up this country!
Stop jocking the fact she is a woman and think if she was a man, how would you really feel about her experience?

Please Pray!

2008-08-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping a close eye on the news about Hurricane Gustav. Not that I ever wish a hurricane on any city, but I pray that New Orleans does not take a direct hit. I read somewhere that only 20% of the levees are at a level that is satisfactory for another hurricane. There are still 80% left to re-enforce. New Orleans is a city that I love to visit. It has always been a special place for me and Brian. Please pray for all those in the hurricane's way, but mostly that New Orleans doesn't take a direct hit!
God bless you all!

2008-08-26T04:15:00.001-07:00

The boys are getting so big so fast! They took their first bath together in the big tub yesterday. They were so funny! I can't believe they will a year old soon. This year has gone by too fast!

2 nightmares and my joy

2008-08-21T03:50:00.000-07:00

I had a bad dream last night. Nothing that was gross or anything. I dreamt that Brian and I both had to go to work and couldn't find a baby sitter. But for some reason I still went to work with Cole in tow. Brian took Caden. I was trying to get completed by 11am and was going to see if my friend Tracy could take over the rest of my patients. But my patients were nightmares. They all had terrible issues that didn't have to do with their health! And one of my patients had a terrible black greasy mullet! I went to give my co-worker Tracy my patients, but she was in some meeting! Then I went to check on Cole and Caden were there. I was more stressed. My boss told me I could leave if I did something for her which required leaving the hosptial. I went out to my van and it was being towed. I talked to the towtruck guy and he said if I gave him $28.98 that he would leave my van. I told him I could get it if he waited a second, but he told me he couldn't wait and if I didn't have it, he was gone. So he left. I tried to get in a cab, but the cab driver threw out my purse and stuff. Some limo driver was laughing at me as I got kicked out of the car. I got so pissed I ran towards him and puunched him in the nuts as hard as I could. He stumbled into a bunch a bikes and one of his friends laughed at him. I called the guy a terrible name as a laid on the groung and kicked him, then left to go get Caden and Cole and to call Brian to come get us.
There were other things thtat made it bad, but that is the just of it. ! AUGH!

And to name another nightmare; the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is not going to come out now until July! WHat kind of crap is that? It was suppose to come out in November and I've been looking forward to it all year. Now I have to wait another year! WHat the hell!!!! All so they can make more money! Like they don't believe in what they made enough to begin with. Selfish bastasrds!
On a good note, the boys are becoming so much more adorable! I love those little guys and it make me sad at how fast they are growing. It's exciting to see them grow, but at the same time, it is going by too fast. I remember it like yesterday that I bought their little fragile bodies home from a month stay in the hosptials. I remember being a nervous wreck everynight that they would stop breathing and that is only because they did that a lot in the hospital when their monitors were on. I would have to give them a sternal rub to make them take a breath sometimes. I remember how holding them both in my arms was so easy because they were so tiny. Now holding them is a combined 40lbs extra! They don't like to take naps nearly as much as they use to. They are getting their own minds and very independant! They know what they want and now whine to get it. (like right now!) Gotta go, Caden wants out of his jumparoo to play on the ground.

OMG! It's here!!!

2008-07-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer is out! I'm so excited. It is just 1:40, but still gets me so excited. I feel like a little kid in a candy store!I have watched it a few times. Better than the piece of shit movie I'm watching now. (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe. This movie ruined the franchise! The first Lost Boys was much better! BTW, Keifer Sutherlands little bro is in the movie! So are Corey Haim and Feldman)
I'm so excited! I hope that the opening night keeps true. I'm going to want to see it. So I may have to request the next Saturday off of work. It will be so great to see this, but make me sad to realize there is only one movie left. (Actually 2 after that. They have to split up the last book into 2 movies.) I'm so glad I will be able to tell my kids all about Harry Potter and getting to experience it all when it first came out.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809791044/video/9048692

The Dark Knight

2008-07-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Brian, Linda, Liz and I went to see "The Dark Knight" last night. I was more than excited to see this film considering all the hype. And since I love movies, I couldn't wait! My review is that I loved it! It was great! I disagree with how some people have said that Christian Bale seemed like an extra in his own movie. That it was mostly about The Joker. This is not true! It was a deeper story than those of the Batman's made in the late 80's and through the 90's. Heath Ledger's performance was brilliant! I fully agree with that! He was amazing! THe thing about his performance compared to that of Jack Nicholson is that Heath made people truly believe it is possible for someone like him to exsist in this society and world today. It wasn't a comic book performance, but one of someone who is truly a mentally ill/ psychotic genius. He is dark and disturbed. Christian Bale was really good too. He made me believe in a real Batman. Everyone made it seem like a less comic book film. The only one thing I did not like about it is Twoface. I didn't by his story as well at the end. Maybe because I'm a nurse and know that there is no way that he could walk around with a burn like that and not have medical complications or be in such debilitating pain. But he was up walking around! Maybe it was just the make up or special effects to make his face the way it is.
When the movie ended, I felt a little teary-eyed. It was Heath Ledgers last completed film. I guess what made me more sad is that the way the movie ended, left the possiblity open for another movie with Heath and "the Joker". As I drove home I thought of the possibilites for another movie with him as the Joker. There was so much back story left open to show on the Joker. Granted I never read the comics, but I felt there could've been some history shown. It was established in the movie that he had no name, no record of prints before. It would've been great to see the backstory of him. Have Batman find out who he was, why he is like he is.

The boys are growing big and strong!

2008-07-18T17:22:00.001-07:00

Here are the boys! Caden is about 20lbs now. Cole is just 18lbs. Caden is geting a reputation for getting into things he shouldn't. He is pretty independant and anything can entertain him. Cole who is getting over his little infection is becoming known for being a mama's boy! He is always wanting to be held and be cuddling! He also needs to be entertain. Caden is often trying to steal Cole's toy even though there are plenty of others around for him to play with. He always wants the one that Cole has. He can move really well and flip across the room like no one's business. He doesn't crawl yet, but gets to where he is going! I found him chewing on his swings electric cord and playing with all the DVR buttons. I yelled at him and said NO! He yelled right back then cried a bit of a pout! He loves to play and jump! He is the best jumper in the business. He loves to laugh! Cole likes to chew on things. He likes to look and exam things carefully. He has little circles on his mattress sheet that he stares at and tries to grab!:) He loves looking at people and examing their faces. He likes to touch everyone! He loves playing with his brother when his brother isn't taking his toys or grabbing his face too hard. He is great at sitting on his own. He is really getting his balance good! They get along really well. They have really started talking to each other and make each other laugh. THat is my all time favorite things to observe! They will look at each other and just talk and laugh, like they are the only 2 who understand each other!
The pictures above are from the last few weeks. See if you can guess who is who! One picture they took with their "Aunt LALA" Another with their cousin, Nikya and Ryan. And Cole is in a pic with his cousin Caitlin.
Tell me if you can guess who is who:)

1st fever

2008-07-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

Cole is sick right now with an ear infection. My mom said he had a fever this morning, but didn't take it and just gave him Tylenol. I have a thermometer and told her if his temp is about 38.5 call me. He ended up being 38.9 (102) later that day after the Tylenol. So I told her to bring him to me at work. I left early and took him to the ER. By then is temp was 40 (104) . His entire body was flushed (it was all red in color). He looked miserable and cried a bit, but looked to ill to really even do that. They looked in his ears to see that his one ear drum had a lot of pus behind it. The docs said they were glad I bought him in because it has a lot of pus and could've burst his eardrum. (I'm glad too!) So now he has antibiotics and just doesn't want to be put down right now. I can't blame him. He was so precious and good for being sick. I'm so lucky! I just gave him tylenol and put him to bed. He was getting his fever back again by the time we got back from the ER. I'm glad I didn't listen to his dr. who told me that fevers are usually nothing. He may have had a blown eardrum by tomorrow if I had listen to him! My stepmom Cathy told me to always listen to a mothers instinct. Usually a mother's instinct is always right! Thank goodness I took that advice!!

SELL OUT!!

2008-07-10T16:41:00.000-07:00

I saw this story on Newsnet 5. It is so funny! I could never do this because I'm a die hard Indians fan. They are my all time favorite all around team. (I love all Cleveland sports teams!)

Here is the news story:
CLEVELAND -- A Cleveland Indians fan is selling his loyalty to the highest bidder.

Alex Chatfield has been an Indians fan for years. However, the team is in the midst of a 10-game losing streak -- its longest in almost 30 years.

For $299, Chatfield is renting his enthusiasm for the remaining 2008 baseball season to anyone who feels an extra fan will put their team over the top.

He offers to watch the new team at least once a week, and wear that team's apparel, with e-mails and pictures to prove it. He is also offering what he calls premium services: Boston fans have to pay $3,500 extra and Yankees fans have to pay $10,000 more.

Chatfield also wants an additional $15,000 for any team that Jim Thome is playing for. He's still bitter about Thome leaving Cleveland.

Bucket List

2008-06-25T17:43:00.001-07:00

I saw the movie "The Bucket List". When I told people this, they all said, "I heard it sucked." It was far from sucking! Maybe it wasn't quite the caliber movie you would think coming from Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. They are gods in the movie world. It was light hearted and moving. They did some amazing things on their Bucket list. I thought about my own. The "bucket list" is a list of things you want to do before you "kick the bucket." Well, Brian and I talked about it and we have done so much stuff from "our list" already. Probably more than a lot of people get to do in their lives.
I wanted to travel. And I have traveled! ANd Brian and I have more traveling we would like to do. In one year he and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, France and Italy for his Ironman and New Orleans for my 30th birthday. We went to Ireland together for almost a month. We were engaged in Toronto Canada. We went over half of the US I think.
I've had children and started a family like I wanted. I have a house I love! I have a great guy! Other than traveling and watching my children grow and see their milestones, I don't know what else to add to my bucket list. I've had such a hard life. After Missy passed,I felt like I should live my life to the fullest. I feel that with Brian I have been able to do that. With as many bad things that has happened in my life, I still feel that I can say I'm blessed. I have a great husband and children! I have good friends and family! I like my job, but I could always do something that I like even more. (I'm sure that everyone could) I have to admit that the best job I have is being a mom! I love my boys! They are the greatest! I guess part of me was afraid that I wouldn't take to being a parent as well. I have done so many things like I said and enjoyed them. I knew that things would be different. But I feel so much happiness and satisfaction at watching them grow and learn. Being a mom is just amazing! It beats anything else! I still love my other interests. Even though I've become a parent, I think it is important to stay the person you are and keep the things you love. But my kids will always come first.
Well, I"m off to bed! I have to get ready for the busy day I have with the boys tomorrow!

BUDDIES!!

2008-06-05T19:18:00.001-07:00

Bummer

2008-06-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

So for the last few weeks I was hoping to get our stimulous check from good ol' W and the govt. It hasn't come. I was going to see my friend get married in North Carolina, but as time went on, I couldn't save the money because of the increased cost of everything... gas which is costing us $160 if not more a week. Then formula... 30.99 per 38oz container. They boys go through about 2-3 containers a week!! It is just some f-ing powder! Why does it cost so much?!! If woman couldn't feed babies breast milk back in the day, what did they give them? (I'm guessing they got a wet nurse, but is it there was something other than powered formula? I couldn't afford the trip and I feel terrible. I wanted to be there. I fully planned on it.. Then I started to realize that I really needed the stiumlous check, but haven't gotten that. I held out till last minute hoping that check would come. I can't believe how f-ed up this country has gotten. I think in many ways, we let the terrorist win because their act, lead to the "wrong war" which has ended up costing the U.S. trillions! I truly believe that we are in a recession, but the govt won't tell us that. It would cause a panic and more people would stop spending. I am scared that it is going to get worse and we will end up in a depression. How is anyone suppose to live this way? I make pretty good money and I'm finding it hard to keep up. I can't imagine what it is like for those who don't have good jobs or who have lost their jobs. I can't believe how fast gas has rose as well. Some news reports say that the U.S. has been getting cheap gas longer than it should have and it is keeping up with the price of inflation. Well I don't think that is true, but because people's income hasn't gone up with the price of inflation.. and I think they needed to ease this gas increase.. Maybe 2.50 for awhile. That is at least do-able. Leave it around there for a few years.. Then increase it to $3 for awhile. THen to $4. It went from 1.99-2.10 from 9/2005 around my wedding, to 3.95 in 5/08. Just totatlly crazy!!!!
I am so tired of reading the news. It just is terrible. People losing their jobs, their house! It is just terrible. No wonder why I've had anxiety issues! Someone said that people are just one accident, or one illess away from losing their homes.
I so pray that a decmocrat is better than what we have had. Regardless of what Clinton did in his personal life, the U.S. had great growth during that time.. And f-ing Jr. had to ruin that to hell for everyone and put all of us in a terrible situation!
I'm going to bed.. I may have to turn off the airconditioning because I may not be able to afford the energy bill!!

New Kids on Today

2008-05-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

The New Kids on the Block were on the Today show on Friday the 16th. I was a big fan back when I was younger. Seeing them together on stage again was great. My friend Destiny and I are hoping that they come to Cleveland so we can see them again. Nothing better than reminicing back to your youth with your favorite band from back them.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1K68EViOBI

The need...

2008-05-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I really need to get working out. I did some last week, but I need to make it a habit! I have 2 videos. One was good for me not having done anything realy physical for awhile, (other than lift babies and adults all day long) It was a good pace I guess you could say. Then the other video I have, "HOLY SHIT!" It was kicking my ass only 5 mins into it. It's called Turbo Jam. As I was doing it I thought to myself that there is no way that Brian could ever do this video. He has NO rhythm:) He isn't allowed to do it with me, because we have another one he tried with me before and I couldn't work out. I was too busy laughing at him. He is cute for the effort though.

We bought a new mini-van. Yup I took the soccer mom step! Crazy I know! But it works out great for us and the 2 babies! It is all black and PIMP! (At least as pimp as it can be for a mini van!I bought myself a new knee brace and joined a co-ed softball team this year. I need a bit of practice. I'm going to see if maybe this Thursday if I can get some time in after Brian is home to go up to the batting cages and practice a bit. I'm excited.

The boys are getting big, rolling over, eating great and weigh 16lbs now. They are doing great the doc said for being born early. It was my first Mother's Day today and I had to work! Lame I know. Brian bought the boys to see me for a bit. It was great! He also made me chocolate covered strawberries, cherries and grapes. It was delicious! He is a good "baker". He makes sweets better than me, but I think I "cook" better than him. We make a great team that way!

So the pics about are of Cole (skinnier face) Caden (round face) and both the boys doing some tummy time and playing under the activity center. They are looking and interacting with each other on purpose now:) Cole found out that he likes longs sleeves. When he needs to comfort himself, he will reach with his left hand, pull his sleeve over his right hand and just mouth on his sleeve. His arm goes way down in the sleeve. I thought he was a genius for figuring that out!

I'm excited. There are acutally 4 tours I want to go see, but so far only 2 I'm going to.. Ok actually 5... Dave Matthews I'm going to see, Coldplay I'm going to see. 311 I want to see, Maroon 5 and Counting Crows I want to see. And New Kids I'm going to see no matter what:) If that makes me a geek so be it. It will be great to think back to some great memories of me being a 13 year old girl!:)

I'll be going to Raleigh to see my friend Michelle get married in June. I'm excited to see her get married, but I'm more excited because I will be all by myself and have a hotel room all to myself. I will miss my husband and boys, but I will enjoy this time and get some much needed sleep:)

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Towpath Half Marathon

2008-04-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

I have decided to "walk" the Towpath Half Marathon on Oct.12. That will be my 32nd birthday. I decided to try and raise money for the Make It Right Foundation. The Make It Right Foundation helps raise money to build houses in the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans. That area was the hardest hit by the floods that followed Hurricane Katrina.
If you would like to donate go to www.firstgiving.com/teresawhittaker
That will take you to a secure website to donate! Cole and Caden will be helping me in the my training this summer! Thanks so much everyone for your help!
Just to remind you, there are pictures of my last trip to New Orleans on October 2006 achrives. Heading would be under, "Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?" :)
That trip was my 30th b-day present from Brian! I love that city and that was maybe my 6th time in New Orelans in 8 years!:)
Feel free to come cheer me on then. I will need it. And keep your fingers crossed for a great morning that day!

buddies!!

2008-04-13T07:22:00.001-07:00

Guess which one is which!

New Kids on the Block 1st pic together in 15 years

2008-04-02T17:55:00.001-07:00

My prayers have been answered! The New Kids have released their 1st photo in the last 15 years. Could Donny be anymore hot? My husband is giving me a hard time about it. I think he loves seeing me re-live my life as a 10-13 year old girl! He is getting a kick out of it as much as I am. I just tell him I'm proud of liking the New Kids! Why deny the person I was? Besides, it got me to the point in being the person I am today!! You just aren't going to catch me at their concert wearing an airbrushed jean jacket. (Remember that Destiny?HAHA) I will be at any concert they perform at though!:)

Matt is the real father!

2008-04-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

So Brian and Matt for awhile now have gone back and forth making funny pics of each other. Brian once turned our entire football team into a bunch of Matt's.

Matt decided to tell Brian the real news.. The our sons are really his....:) haha check out how much the boys look like Matt!

St. Patty's Day 2008

2008-03-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

The boys had their first St. Patty's Day this year and it also marked their 5 month birthday! Caden is in "Lucky Charm" . Cole is in the "Kiss me!" They are starting to look identical though they are not!

Wild kingdom

2008-03-22T18:14:00.001-07:00

Brian called me at work to say, "Guess what I saw in the back yard!" I figured it was the family of 6 deer. But he said, NO! WILD TURKEY!! He never told me one of them was an albino turkey!! It was so cool!!!!

Wildlife in the backyard

2008-03-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

We have a large area of woods behind our house. In the last few days I've noticed that a group of deer have been coming around looking for food. I think they may be starving and are looking for any food they can. I went to the store, got bird seed for the blue jays, cardinals and other birds I've seen. I bought corn cobs for the squirels I've noticed and I got some apples for the deer. Today my friend Frank and I set out everything. Well, I set out everything and Frank helped keep watch for the animals. Finally later in the afternoon, the birds were in the birdfeeder and the squirels were having fun. THen a deer came. It stayed awhile, but then left. I figured that was it, but then it returned with 5 friends. They found the apples and corn cobs. They tried some of the bird seed on the ground. Later in the evening when Brian was home, 3 more came. It was great seeing the wildlife in our yard. I felt bad realizing that our house took some of their home. I'm glad that the people who owned those woods haven't sold their property. I really hope they never do. I love the woods behind our house! I love seeing nature right outside my door. Here are pictures I took today. I only am showing a few!

New Pics

2008-02-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

Cole

Caden

There is good news. Cole doesn't have scoliosis. I was scared. The ortho doc thinks that he likes to posture that way. He sits a lot in a bouncy, so we need to move him out more on to a blanket. He hates tummy time, as does his brother Caden. I feel relieved though.

I wanted to add pics that we took of them recently. They look a bit different. Caden more than Cole. They are just getting so cute. They talk and laugh. And they CRY:) It's rewarding getting to watch them change and grow!

Scoliosis- My momma said that my back is crooked like a question mark!

2008-02-13T15:40:00.000-08:00

I noticed that Cole has a significant curve in his spine. I know that it is scoliosis. We will be taking him to the doctor next week so I'm not going to make an extra appointment for that. I read quite a bit about infant scoliosis today. I think his is significant enough that he may require bracing/casting to treat it. Most cases they just wait and observe. I think I may be able to deal with that, but it is becoming more and more noticable in the last week, so I really hope that we can start an early intervention. Because my boys were premature, I enrolled them in the Help Me Grow program. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the developmental specialist and will see what she recommends. They are all about early interventions so I think they will try and get me the help that I need. I don't have a lot of confidence in our pediatrician right now. I think depending on what he says about this situation will tell me if I should keep him as their doctor. I know that X-rays and an MRI should be done at least to see how bad the curve is.
I'm feeling a little heartbroken about all of this. You always want a perfect baby. Now I"m worried that he may not really make his milestones. That he will be further behind. A little scary if you ask me. I never realized I could worry so much. I may need that antianxiety med that my doctor offered me today at the docs office. (I've been having chest pains which I figured was anxiety. He just confirmed it for me!) I love these little guys more than anything. In seeing the curve I hope that it will fix itself. But if not, I know it will be a bit of a long road for the treatment of it. I'll pray and keep my fingers crossed that things will work out alright. I know there is so much they can do now. I'm just hoping that it doesn't require surgical intervention. Once we start something like that, that will be something he needs until he is out of high school. Not to mention be quite painful! My poor guy. Keep your figures crossed for my little Cole!

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans , part 2?

2008-02-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

I was watching Ellen today. She was doing a Mardi Gras special and talking about the lower 9th ward and the Make It Right Foundation. This foundation is raising money to build houses in the lower 9th ward. It was started by Brad Pitt and Ellen has picked up on it and is trying to help raise money as well.

As everyone knows I fell in love with New Orleans in 1998, the first time I was there. I have been back there quite a bit and only once since Hurricane Katrina. I had my bacholerette party there, I celebrated my 30th birthday there. I drove down for 3-11 day to see 311 in concert. I have been there a few other times as well. Not yet for Mardi Gras though, but that will be in the future. Last time I was there for my 30th birhtday in October of '06 (check my blog history for photos) I was sad at the things I saw. I told my husband as we sat once again at Pat O'Briens in the French Quarter, that I loved New Orleans. It is so familiar to me now and when we are there it feels like home. I love the atmosphere, the culture there. Even though you are in the US you feel like you are in another place, espeically in the French Quarter. It's important to keep those traditions. I remember for my bacholerette party , I took a few girls who have never been there. As we flew over Lake Ponchatrain, I told them about how 1 powerful hurricane could devistated the city. 3 months later, what I feared and told them about actually happened. My friends told me that they thought of me when they saw the news.

I think it is important to rebuild New Orleans. Please if you can donate to the Make It Right Foundation. You can also go to ELLENTV.com and order a t-shirt from her website for charity. I plan on donating money soon. (I've been on maternity leave and literally have $16 left to my name till my next paycheck) And I also plan on getting a t-shirt. Each house is estimated to be $150,000. So money needs to roll in! The shirt says, "MAKE IT RIGHT FOUNDATION" with the number 9 on it for the lower 9th ward! IT's pretty cool!

New Kids reunion

2008-01-28T16:35:00.000-08:00

I know this will be funny, but New Kids on the Block are planning a comeback! I know you all will rip on me for this, but they were my first favorite band and concert. It will bring back a lot of memories for me. And I'm proud of who I am now, so I'm not embarrassed to admit that I loved them back in the day!!! I was 11-12 for God's sake! But it was still pretty good music and I know all you haters know all the words to their songs just as well as I do!!!
I can't wait!:)

From People.com....

After months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together. The band's Web site, www.nkotb.com, which had been dormant, is now back up and running in anticipation of the official announcement, which the source says will be made in the next few weeks. The site currently features a television graphic with a fuzzy, flickering photos of NKOTB in their heyday, and a link inviting fans to sign up for info.The boy band, which made legions of tweens swoon in the early '90s, selling more than 50 million albums, became a worldwide phenomenon before calling it quits in 1994. Eighteen years later, they're still "Hangin' Tough." The oldest "Kid," Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band's demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight's brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.

New pics of the boy

2008-01-24T16:52:00.000-08:00

This Cole

This is Caden above... We take pics of the boys everyday because everyday they just seem so cute!!!! One of the pics I'm going to post is on honor of my cousin Julie. She is a Florida Gator, her husband is a Seminole. My husband was always a fan of FSU, so he sent Julie one of the pictures above. :)

In Memory of Heath Ledger

2008-01-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of Heath Ledger. I thought he was a really great actor. I enjoyed his movies. It was a bit of a shock to see he died on the news. It never sits well with me seeing someone younger than myself pass on. I'm not sure how he died at this time. I'm only hoping it wasn't on purpose. That would be a waste of a great talent and sad for his daughter.

Caden and Cole are 3 months old now!!

2008-01-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

This is Cole

This is Caden!

I can't believe how fast time has gone by. The boys born on Oct 17th are now 3 months old. I finally went back to work. God I wish I could win the lottery. I would never work again and I could stay home and raise my boys the right way. Not that I'm dogging working moms, I'm one of them. But I can see wanting to stay home with them and care for them yourself. Maybe I just feel this way because they were in the hospital for awhile. I wanted to protect them and care for them the best I could. I'm working the weekends now and with this, it saves us a ton of money that otherwise we would be spending on child care. Our goals this year is to get out of debt once and for all. That may take us the next 2 years, but we are willing to do it. We decided we aren't going to "go away" for our vacation this year to save money. We are going to stay home instead! Save money! Besides, Brian and I went to France, Italy and Hawaii in less then 10 months. Some people never see even one of those places in a life time! So I'm content with our decision. (This doesn't include coming to see you get married Michelle! I'll still do that!) Not to mention, anywhere we go, the boys aren't going to remember anyway! Caden is looking a lot like I did as a baby! Cole looks a lot more like Brian, but there seems to be a good mix of me and Brian in Cole. For the time being it looks like they may keep their blue eyes, but that could still change!

I added pics above now just like I promised my cousin I would! I hope she is happy now!:)

Pictures of the boys from the NICU to home!

2007-12-08T07:47:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of our boys Caden and Cole.. Getting them to sit still is a challenge. Then having them both look the same way at you! It's still fun though!

They are adjusting well to being home and gaining weight like crazy. They are both over 7lbs. What is crazy about them, is that though I know they aren't identical, everything happening to them is the same. They are identical in every other way. Now that they are gaining weight, they are starting to look slightly different. You may not tell it in these pictures, but they both have the same eyes. Caden is just lazy and chooses not to open them as brightly all the time. (Especially when we are taking pictures) But they have the same big eyes. Brian gets irritated when I tell them I think Caden's eyes will be blue. He says there is no way to tell right now. But they are turning a blue-grey color at this time. Cole's still has me confused becasue sometimes I think they are blue, but them I think they are hazel like mine. And I think they are going to have curly hair. Brian finally realized it today when he saw the wavy curls in the back of Cadens head. As their hair gets a little longer, it is starting to curl up and get fuzzy (or frizzy!:) ) just like mine! So he may finally agree with me there. The funny thing is if you see a picture of me up to 1 year old, I didn't have curly hair. It was kind of straight and as it got longer, it got curlier! So the same thing may happen for them. Brian was worried about them being bald some day, but since boys get the bald gene from their mother, they should be alright with my family genes. My dad and grandfathers all had their hair. They all have/had pretty great thick hair too. Cole is starting to look more like Brian. For awhile I thouhgt Caden did, but as they are gaining weight in their faces, you may start to see the difference. Caden is looking more like me now. They are just so incredible! I love them to pieces! I'm going to write more and post more pics in the weeks to come. I want to tell you all of our experience from my labor to the NICU to coming home!

I hope you enjoyed the pictures. I enjoy taking them. It finally makes me feel like we have something normal going after all those weeks of uncertainty. Nothing was normal for us and people I don't think really understood that. It's important for me to get to do normal things like send out pictures and stuff. I finally am really getting to enjoy being a mom the normal way..

Welcome our sons, Caden Noah and Cole Grady, to the world!

2007-10-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

Since 10/2, I've been in the hosptial. I went into labor for a second time and had to be hospitalized. This time because of being in labor a 2nd time and an onset of mild pre-eclampsia (a.k.a. toxemia) my doctor said I would stay till I deliever. We decided that if my toxemia didn't get worse and I didn't go into labor, that we would deliever the boys at 36 weeks. My sister asked me, "What if they are born on Dad's birthday?" I told her that would be funny, but I don't want to have them born that early. I wanted them to stay in until 36 weeks. On Monday 10/15th I had an ultrasound that said my cervix was now only 17mm. (It was 23 mm when I went into labor the first time) On Tuesday 10/16, I noticed blood when I wiped. Right after that I called my dad and told him that I had a feeling that that boys would be born the next day. (Which was my dad's birthday) The 16th went alright for the rest of the day. Brian just got home from a meeting in Houston Texas. He came right to the hospital so we could be together to watch the Indians game. We were together watching the Indians game when I got this really weird pain on my right side. It felt like one of the boys was trying to stick his foot or fist into my appendix all the way through to my kidney! It just hurt. I couldn't get comfy! Brian was rubbing the area for me. ONce my nurse came in, I told her what was happening. (The indians were in the 5th inning beating the Red Sox) She hooked me up to the monitor and called the doctor on call. We found that I was in labor again but my cervix was still 17mm. I went downstairs again ! I knew this time that the docs weren't going to do anything to stop labor. My doctor told me once I hit 32 weeks, if it happened, she would let it happen. WEll I was 32 weeks and 5 days at this point. The next morning, my doctor came in and checked my cervix. According to the 2 residents that were caring for me, my cervix didn't change. (They were really gentle!) WHen she came in, she just shoved her hand there and went for the gold. It started a contraction and she said that was dilated 4cm at that point with the contraction. At this point she gave me a choice. The choice was, if the boys were in the correct position, did I want to progress with regular labor? I said I did. I knew that being pre-mature would work against the boys. Going the natural way would help their lungs a little bit by helping push any fluid in their lungs out through the birth canal. Then she would just let labor progress normally with me. But the ultrasound revealed that they weren't in a good postion to be born vagnially! NUTS! So it was to be a c-section and within the half hour, I was being prepped with an epidural/spinal (which I totally suggest! It gives you the best of both!) I was terrified and Brian couldn't be in the room while I was being prepped! I wanted to cry and I was scared. Not just for me, but for the boys. I felt a little overwhelmed. My nurse stayed with me. ANd thought I didn't know her well, she told me that she knows that if she was in my position, she would want me to stay with her. (She knew I was a nurse) So she held my shoulders and rubbed my arm while they placed the epidural. After they prepped me, Brian was allowed in. He looked so cute in his 3XL scrubs! They were so big my mom had to tape them on to him! SO FUNNY!!! Brian watched the whole thing. He even saw my uterus sitting on the outside of my abdomen! He was trying to tell me about it, but it just freaked me out. Who wants to know their husband can see their uterus literally! The boys were out within 20 minutes. Cole Grady Whittaker was out first weighing 5lbs and he was 18 and 1/4 inches. 1 minute later Caden Noah Whittaker was out. He was 4lbs and 8oz. He was also 18 inches. Brian got to hold them each for about 30 seconds then they were wisked away to the NICU with difficulties breathing. I couldn't hold them because I was in the middle of having them deliever the placenta! Once they were done I couldn't see them right away. I had to still recieve more magnesium because of my high blood pressures and toxemia. I had to take it for 12 hours. SO I couldn't see the boys for 12 hours. The boys were born on October 17th and they ended up sharing their Grandfathers birthday just like Aunt Christy said. At 1am on the 18th, I got to see my boys. I'm not sure what happened, but after a few minutes I got sick and threw up. I could've attributed it to not getting out of bed for 12-13 hours. The magnesium, medications of any kind. I was wondering also if it was my nerves of seeing them in the NICU. Who wants to see those babies in the NICU after trying for 3 weeks to stay in bed so they wouldn't come out and they wouldn't need to be there.
This morning I went and got really sick feeling. I"m not sure what that was about, but I just didn't feel well at all. I started to think it was my nerves. Now that I think I confronted this issues, I feel better. My stomach hurts as does my shoulder. I'm doing good though. My biggest concern is my sons! I"M A MOM!!! They are so cute. They have this dark hair. We have pictures, but the only ones available at this point are the ones Brian's mom took and they just really don't do the boys justice! They are fighters and I can't wait to get them home! I can't imagine loving someone so much. I mean I love Brian and I can't believe how blessed I am to have him and how much I love him. It amazes me to how much I love him! But not these 2 little guys that will depend on us. Iknow he loves them as much as I do! They are just precious! I'm going to go to bed. I have to pump to get something for the little guys in the NICU. I should be here a few more days I think. I'm so tired, I'm falling asleep writing this! GOOD NIGHT!!

Babies are trying to get out!

2007-09-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

By now most of you know I'm pregnant with twin boys. It's not something I've talked about much on here. But I'm now on strict bedrest. Monday the 9/24 marked 10 years since my youngest sister died. It was also the day I had an ultrasound appointment. And it was also my 2 year anniversary! Anyway, I ended up being hospitalized because my cervix was shortened and I was in preterm labor. They admitted me to labor and delievery. That was scary enough because they were preparing in case the babies came out. I was only 29 and half weeks along at this point. They gave me magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions I was having. THAT IS THE WORST! I give it to my patients in low doses to replace electrolytes. They were giving me high doses and fast to stop the contractions. The bolus dose they gave me.. HOLY SHIT!!! I felt flushed.. my entire body was on fire. My mom was putting cold cloths on me and trying to keep me cool until the inital big dose was done. I felt lethargic. I think if I had ever really done some drugs it would've felt like the same thing. NOT A GOOD FEELING!!! After almost a full day on the drug, the contractions slowed and they took me off the magnesium and monitors and I went upstairs to rest for the next 2 days. I could only get up to go to the bathroom. Occassionally I would go out and walk to get water which they didn't want me to do. But it didn't seem too far and I wanted to stretch my legs. Now I'm at home on complete bedrest with babysitters! I'm not suppose to do anything but go to the bathroom. Not even cook or clean. (Finally:) Now I just have to try and find some more baby sitters for myself for the week!:)
I'm tired and going to go take a nap now! I have to rest and cook these guys just a little longer. They are already grounded when they come out for scarying me the way they did!
Sucks to start off life grounded right out of the womb! HAHAHA!

The night Missy died......

2007-08-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have never told too many people this exact story of the few days when my sister died and he days that followed. People have heard it or knew bits and pieces of it. About a month ago I was telling my friend Linda the story of what it was like just at the hospital for me. I started to cry and felt like an idoit. I don't even know if I ever really even described it to Brian. I kind of got lost in the memory when talking to Linda. Then sitting here listening to "Sister" by The Nixons, I thought I should tell the story. SHe has been gone 10 years now and maybe it's time people know what it was like for me and my family really.
September 23rd, 1997
I came home for a few minutes that night right around 3 or 4 pm. I had been living with my boyfriend Will, but things between us weren't that great and I felt that I need to focus on my family and school since I wasn't doing either. That summer I found out I had a begnin brain tumor, but for awhile there we weren't sure if it was cancer. It turned out to not be cancer. But during this time, I thought of all the things I wanted to do and what was important and moved back home. Anyway, when I got home that afternoon, Missy was on the back porch smoking a cigarette and holding her new kitten FeeBee. Yeah she smoked just like my other sister and my parents knew. My mom didn't like it, but my dad said it was alright so how do you win when parents are against each other.
Anyway, I told Missy I was leaving. I was going to pick up my friend Nicole for her softball game and take her there. Part of the reason I really wanted to go to the game was to see my ex boyfriend Jim. I know I was with WIll, but part of me had always loved Jim. Never stopped really and I just wanted to see him. So I said good bye to Missy and told her I loved her and I would see her later. That night we got to the game, Jim was there, but he wouldn't say hi to me. ( I found out later why) I was hurt, but what could I really do. I was still with Will though I knew it was pretty close to being over. Nicole and I sat in my car after the game talking to 2 guys she knew. One of them started playing with the angel on my dashboard and I told them that Missy had gotten it for me a few days earlier. I thought of her and decided I needed to get home. It was probably around 8:45 then. I dropped Nicole off. When I got home I found this "craft" kitty. It was a potppori (spelling?) kitty that Missy had made. She gave it to Nicole the night before but Nicole forgot it. Missy told Nicole that that was the last "free" kitty she was going to give away. I took the kitty and inspected it some more. I already had one but these were the cutest thing. Missy was planning on teaching me how to make them later that week. We just needed to buy more stuff. SHe always made fun of me becaue I was craft handicapped. I thought about how nice the kitty was and how proud I was of Missy. I decided that when she got home that I would tell her just how proud of her I was. Right after I thought that, the phone rang. It was a nurse at the ER asking me for my mom. I told her she was at work and gave her the number. The nurse told me Missy had been in an accident. I thought for one minute that it was 10 pm and late and I wasn't going to go to the hospital. Missy was in an accident the year before and she was fine then. I thought she would be fine again. But for some reason I thought, "Nah, I'll go and support her. She is probably really upset." So I went and as I drove, I started to feel more panic inside. Like something was really wrong. Then I thought to myself I was being a drama queen!
You see Missy had been working at the local deli and afterwards left with her boyfriend Jimmy to go to his house. As he drove, he blacked out from too much insulin he had taken early. He didn't eat much to balance out the dose he gave himself. They hit a car head on. EMT's said Missy's body was leaned over towards the driver seat. SHe didn't have a seatbelt on, but they weren't sure if she had taken it off to get control of the car just before impact. There is too much that isn't known!
When I got to the ER my mom was at the counter crying with her friend from work, Rita. No one has really told her much at that point and they wouldn't let my mom see Missy. I started to freak myself inside. Not on the outside like my mom, but inside I was freaking out. A nurse took my mom and me to a private room with security. I thought to myself, "Shit, this is bad!" The nurse tried to explain what was going on. Really the doctor should've been doing that. But it was the nurse trying to. My mom and Iwere sitting as the nurse told us that my sisters neck was broken and that she had a lot of internal injuries and that she couldn't breath without a vent etc. I can't remember it all exactly. How easy it is to talk to someone in shock (me) and someone who was hysterical. I just knew what she was trying to get at. And I remember looking at my mom who was just screaming not hearing anything the nurse was saying anymore. My mom was doubled over. The nurse was trying to ask us if we wanted to keep her on life support or take her off because there wasn't much they could do and that she was basically dead. She had been without oxygen for about 20 minutes as EMT's tried to cut her out of the car. They got her heart working again, but because where her neck was broke, she could never breath on her own and she would never wake up. They were trying to ask us if we wanted her to be an organ donor. But all my mom could do was scream and I sat there in shock. We wanted to see her. So they took us to see her. As we crossed the hallway to see her, my dad was being let in. My mom's friend Rita and I were holding my mom up to walk as we crossed the hall when my dad saw us and I saw him. I had been crying. He took one look at my face and turned around and walked right out because I guess the look on my face said it all for him. He knew just by looking at me and seeing that my mom couldn't walk that it was really bad.
We got to the room with Missy in it. She had a neck brace on and breathing tube coming out of her mouth. Her clothes had been cut away. I asked the nurse for a priest right away. My mom couldn't go near her. She sat in a corner screaming as Rita tried to hold her. I sat next to Missy. Her hair had been braided on either side just like I last saw it on the back porch. There was blood coming from her ears, her nose, her mouth. Her lips were swollen where they had tied the tube in her mouth. She had blood in her hair and a gash on her chin. (Her chin hit the dashboard which was what broke her neck) She had a warming blanket on her because they couldn't keep her temp up.
My dad came back in the room and was weird. Zombie like almost saying things I can't remember, but just that they were weird. I told the nurse we wanted to donate her organs and had to explain to my mom that was the only choice right now. My mom didn't understand much of anything at this time. So I made her sign for it and I signed for everything else. I sat with my sister stroking her face and her hair talking to her, telling her how much we loved her as we waited for the priest to come. No one could get a hold of my sister Christy to tell her. We kept trying. I called Will, by now it was midnight or 11pm I think. I was screaming on the phone saying that she was dead. Finally I got the story out and Will met me at my parents. As I walked through the ER I saw Missy and Jim's friend Doug in a room through glass in the door. He was with 2 people I've never seen before. I walked in and addressed Doug. I told Doug what happened. The 2 people in the room started crying.. the woman was sobbing so hard and the man next to her was holding her. It was Jim's parents. I sat on Dougs lap as we cried together.

The Life Flight helicopter came and took Missy to Metro where they would take her organs. We went home and started to call people. But once we got home, Metro called and said they couldn't declare her dead. For a minute we had hope. But it turned out because they couldn't declare her brain dead, we had to go and sign more papers. It was now 12:30am. Will was there. My dad found my sister and her friend Teresa. We went to Metro together taking 3 seperate cars. Christy wanted to see her. As did I one more time. My parents signed the papers and they let us sit with her. They couldn't take all of her organs because she had been down and cold too long. They couldn't heat her body right. So they turned up the morphine and we sat with her as her heart rate slowed to zero. Up to that point I had been the cool smart one.When that number hit zero, I ran out of the room screaming into Will's arms. I couldn't take it. I couldn't do anything to protect my little sister. By then it was around 4:30am, Sept. 24th. . We left to take the hour drive home, but I couldn't sleep once I got there. 7am is when Perry started high school then. I thought I should go to the school and talk to the office in person. On the way to the school I drove past Missy's oldest friends house, Tiffany. I saw her mom Holly out front and decided to stop. Holly seemed surprise to see me. I was alone. I got out of the car and I think she knew something was wrong. I told her Missy had died a few hours earlier and that I was going to the school to talk to the office. They had Tiffany come out and we told her. She started to scream not believing it. Holly decided to go with me to the school to talk to the principal. She was upset. They had lived down the street from us all our lives and knew Missy and us well.
I talked to Mr. Sater the Vice Principal when I got there and told him what happened. Tiffany went too and found her friends right away and told them all. While I was in his office, kids, started pouring into the office area, crying and screaming. They wanted to go home, they were calling their parents. Some of them wanted to be by me. Many of her classmates saw me there and I held them and comforted them. It was helping me a bit too. I left a little while later to get home to find already 20 some kids at our house. We were tired, but we didn't mind the company at all. We started getting phone calls to our house. Newspaper and a newscrew came by. My sister-in-law was there. I had forget that we never called my brother that night. My dad told him that morning while I was gone and my brother took off. No one knew where he was. He later told us he went to a park and cried and smoked a joint. We were getting a lot of calls. One of them was Jim, my ex, calling to apologize for how he behaved towards me the night before and to explain why. I told him Missy died and that I forgave him. He was so quiet. He called back a few mintues later wanting to know what he could do and when services were.
My mom's friend Philomena came over with Ativan from the doctor for my mom. She wanted us to take it that night, but I couldn't. I had to keep going. We went to the funeral home and made arrangements. My mom's friends bought the cemetery plot. I picked out her clothes that she would wear.
The thing about the accident was that Missy was with her boyfriend. He had (has) diabetes. He blacked out behind the wheel. He was still at the hosptial. Me and Christy decided to go up to the hospital because we knew that someone would tell him. We needed to see him, to know what happened. Christy and I got there with Will. We walked in the room and Jim was crying. His dad was in there crying too. They had just told him a little before we got there that Missy died. So we sat on his bed and the 3 of us held each other and cried. It has been hard on us and was hard on us, but I honestly couldn't imagine being in his shoes knowing his actions lead to someone dying even if it was an accident. We know he didn't do it on purpose. . How hard it must be for him! We didn't want him to feel abandoned. One could never imagine the pain he must feel. Our pain is great, but he has guilt on top of it.
The next day it was in the paper with her picture. It was on the news later that night. Missy's Jimmy was let go from the hosptial and stayed with us that evening to watch the news report. Nicole, Chad and Brian were there. I was surprised that Brian was there. We really weren't' friends. I think he was there more for Nicole and Chad's support as they tried to support me. My mom looked horrible in the interview on the news and of course they took things out of text as they always do. My grandmother arrived to make it more difficult. She was focused on all these dumb things and I ended up going off on her on many occassions that week. Again I stayed up and tried to put together things for the funeral. My mom wasn't functioning at all. So for the 2nd night in a row I didn't sleep. Around midnight a knock came at the door and my friend Tom came and sat with me a bit while I went through pictures to use for her funeral. The next day seemed like work as flowers and food and well wishers came by. Again we didn't mind this. It helped that we were feeling an overflow of love during this time. I spent a lot of time trying to run around to get everything. I realized that it had to be the most beautiful several days. ANd every year since it has been beautiful. That is why brian and I got married that same day she died 8 years later. Not to just honor her, but because we knew it would be beautiful.
We got to the funeral home for calling hours around 1pm. We wanted an hour with her before others came. When we saw her, she looked so bad that I didn't want my mom to see, but she did. We decided that we had to close her casket so her friends wouldn't see. It just didn’t look like her. Jim, my ex, arrived to be there for me. He held me in his arms for quite a while. With Will looking on I didn't care, I whispered to Jim that I still loved him and I need him to know that incase I never got to tell him again. The tumor scare I had and losing Missy made me realize how important it is to tells those we love how we feel. I had been wanting to tell him for almost 2 years and I didn't. He told me he still loved me. He stayed around as much as he could for me. I knew it was over for me and Will, but I couldn't stand breaking up with someone quite yet. I even thought it would make our relationship stronger. But it didn't! It fell apart. Will was in pain remembering his mother dying. I thought he would understand me better than anyone, but he didn't. He has always suppressed his feelings. I think he thought I should do the same. Jim, I think tried to help me by distracting me a bit. He and Missy had a hard history that only a few weeks before she died she told me that she really had liked him. She always thought that he was too arrogant! He did act that way at times, but to people he didnt know. He has a huge heart of gold once you get to know him! He is an amazing guy! I got so confused at this time because as much as I cared for Will, I still loved Jim. And to add to the confusion, Brian came into my life, being this really great friend and support I needed. Within a 2 weeks period I left Will because Jim had kissed me one night. I stopped him only because I didn't want to cheat on Will and have Jim think that I would do the same to him. I think Jim misunderstood why I stopped him because he left quickly after that. I broke up with Will that night in hopes that that kiss meant Jim wanted me back. But Jim never called. And I'm not sure why I never called him. My sister and at this point,grandmother just died. I was so confused with everything. I didn't hear from Jim for 2 weeks and during that time Brian showed his interest in me. Brian was being so incredible by helping me keep up in school and seeing that we all were doing things together to get me by this. It was easy to have feelings for him more than a friend. Even if I still wanted Jim. I ended up with Brian. I thought that Jim wasn't ready for all that I wanted to share with him yet anyway. I thought we were still too young and he probably still wasn't ready to settle down with me for the rest of my life, which is what I wanted with him. Jim was an amazing guy to me. Not my first boyfriend, but the first person I ever really loved and who taught me what love really was. I never thought that Brian and I would last so long. I did think at some point I would still end up with Jim, but Brian and I ended up with this incredible bond that has only gotten stronger over time. Which is why I ended up marrying him. He was my best friend. He is my best friend! ANd I adore him so much. As much as I had loved Jim, I think I ended up with the person that was best for me.
I felt after time that this was God's way of maybe making up for taking my sister, by not giving me what I had wanted, but giving me the person I would need in my life. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to get married on the anniversary of when Missy died. I felt that Brian was a gift to me to help me deal with her loss. I've gotten so much happiness and have lived so much life with him. He helped me do the things I have wanted to accomplish before I die myself.

Anyway, the funeral home was packed full of people. It meant so much to us. During the evening I took a break and went outside. I saw Missy's friend Mike, sitting on the ground in the parking lot crying. I sat on the ground with him and held him and craddled him, rocking him back and forth. He had a hard time with Missy dying. He had a hard time with other things in his life and 6 months after Missy died, he killed himself. He was a really sweet kid. Missy had touched so many people, and it meant so much to see that love she gave being shown back to us through the community.
The day of her funeral was so beautiful. The most beautiful warm day ever I think. At the church I gave a euology. It was hard, but I focused on her casket and my love for her. I saw Jim sitting with Robert, my mom's boyfriend and I pulled strength from seeing him there. I loved my sister and this was my last way to show it to her and the world. I planned the whole ceremony. 2 of Missy's friends read a poem at her funeral. It was hard knowing that soon, this was the end of it all.
We left the church to go to the cemetery and the Perry Police Department lead the way for us. THey all knew her. She worked in the local deli. They all knew us as well. It was a touching processional. As my sisters friends placed flowers on her coffin to say good bye, I stood and watched. I couldn't cry anymore. Jim was standing next to me. Then right in front of me, the funeral director walked in front of me and tripped over the corner of the railing that was holding my sister's casket. I started to giggle because I felt like that was her way of saying goodbye. Something to make eveyone laugh. Which is always what she loved to do, make people laugh. Her friends looked at me I think to lead, because they were shocked, then they saw me laughing and they knew it was alright to giggle too! I started to cry while laughing, but it was something I needed.
That wasn't it though. That night, me, Dana, Alessa, Will, Jim, Christy and her boyfriend at the time (I don't even know that guys name) went to Friday's. Then at 11pm we all went up to the cemetery. Missy's funeral was the day of Perry's homecoming. Her friends didn't want her to spend the first night in the cemetery alone, so after the dance, I would say a good 100 kids went to the cemetery. So did me and everyone who went to eat with us at Friday's. It meant so much to see how her friends loved it and it touched us that they didn't want her to be alone that night, buried in the ground. Jim, tried to cast his head lights over te grave by turning his car to face it and accidentally ran over top of a grave! There was no damage to it, his car was just over it. But it made me laugh. Missy's boyfriend Jimmy was there too with his friends and his brothers and sisters. Over the next few weeks, people were stopping over and checking on us.
I had a good support with Will, but not what I really needed. I had Nicole, Chad, Dana, Jim and Brian and other good friends. My family tried to support Missy's boyfriend Jim the best we could. But the lawsuit got in the way of that relationship. I wish it didn't have to. You know it is hard to get over the loss of someone you love no matter how much time goes by or how well you deal with it. The pain never goes away and some people can be insensitive and just not understand that. People have said, "Why don't you just get over it? It was a long time ago! " Tell me how would they or even you feel if someone was ripped from your life without warning. You don't really get to say good bye or say all the things you wanted to say to them. I was lucky because I did get to tell Missy what she meant to me the night before the accident when we were standing in the kitchen wtih my friend Nicole. Nicole I know remembers the conversation. What if you don't get to say those things? What if your last images of someone is how I described Missy laying in the hospital room? What if it was like my brother's last images of someone lying in a coffin that doesn't even look like your sister? It's a pain no one can describe unless you go through it yourself. It's sad to think other people have gone through what I have.
I feel her with me at times. But that isn't enough. I miss her so much! I know I'm suppose to take comfort in the idea that she is watching over me, but that doesn't always help. I want her here! Selfish I know. God wants her with him. How unfair to me though. I just wish I could've gotten more time with her. She was my best friend , not just my sister. I love you missy!

Frank's party

2007-07-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

Brian, Scott, Tony, Amber and I had a party for our friend Frank. He is leaving for Arizona and we will miss him a lot. I stole some pics from him because I didn't take my own like a loser:)

HARRY POTTER! The wait is over!!

2007-07-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

Now that Daniel Radcliffe is of age, I don't feel like such a perv thinking he is hot! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out finally! This is only book 5 so I have 2 more movies to go! I thought it was a really great movie! But being the Harry Potter fan that I am, I feel that they left out some very impotant things and switched the story line a bit. YOu have to read the book or I feel you are missing something in the movie. Since I read the book, I knew what I was missing, but still very much enjoyed seeing it up on the screen, the things I've seen in my head! It was darker, more grown up and great! I think these movie peeps need to realize that as much as Harry Potter fans that we are, we will sit through a 3 hour movie. There is nothing wrong with making the movies longer!!!! Think of that for the last 2 movies please!!

Now to the release of Deathly Hallows. That book off the bat had me crying. It was amazing! It took a bit to get comfortable with how different the story was going to be from the other 6 books. J.K. had a pattern in the other books. Start off with the Dursley's and end up at Hogwarts. If you don't want me to ruin some of it for you, stop reading now otherwise continue!:) They don't return to Hogwarts and go off on the adventure that Dumbledore gave Harry. So the book had them on the run from Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It was really great writing.. Very much more adult than before. It alsmot seems like more "time" has passed from book 6 to book 7 with the situations they have to deal with.. Harry had always been really gutsy, but this book he seems to be full of BALLS! And Neville truely found more courage and he was incredible in the few pages he was in. It's just so sad who has to die in the book. It isn't just 2 people... it's quite a few which is why I was crying so much as I was reading it. I won't tell you who died, but it really bought out a lot of emotion of what these terrible times bought to Harry's world. I felt deeply for Harry's pain, but he kept having to move on to get his job done. I suggest if you want to get into Harry Potter, read all the books first, then watch the films. The 6th film won't come out till the end of next year, which is extremely annoying to me! But what can I do!

I can't wait for my 2 boys to be born so I can get them into Harry Potter too!:)

How boring am I lately?

2007-06-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on my blog in some time. I guess that is what happens when you are tired all the time.:) We moved into our new house! I love it, but even after almost 2 months, we still aren't unpacked. I'm not sure if it is pure laziness, or we are just too busy with other stuff. In Brian's case, he is busy with other stuff. In my case, I'm so tired anymore that I when I get home from work, I just want to put my feet up and veg! I guess carrying 2 babies is a lot of work! :) In the last 2 weeks, my stomach has really popped out. I look pregnant alright. My asthma doctor told me that I look 6 months pregnant. I'm only 16 weeks. Then Shelly, my boss, reminds me that "You are carrying TWO!" I watched this program last night. I'm not sure what channel it was on, but it was called, "In the Womb- Mulitples" So it talked about how multiples develop. It goes through what they go through from conception all the way to birth. It shows how around 16 weeks the twins (triplets or quads) become aware of each other as they fight for space! It was so cool to watch! Hopefully July 13th I'll find out the sex of both. I just hope they aren't too shy to show us. Yes I hope for one of each, but I'll take whatever I get. Brian feels if we can't have one of each then he wants 2 girls first! I think he will treat them like little princesses! My mom's boyfriend hopes for 2 boys. He said he's had enough estrogen with my sisters, my mom, me and Nikya to last forever:) He said we need some testosterone in our family! I'll be happy with whatever I get!
Well, I'm going to try and be productive today. I think I may go to the grocery store! How exciting! (not really!) There is one thing I'm happy about! Our air conditioning is finally working! Well, I've got to go get ready! YEah I know it is 2:30pm on a Thrusday! I've had a lazy day today! I deserve it!

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

2007-04-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

I saw on Yahoo.com today that they finally have the full 2 minute trailer of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! The teaser trailer did nothing for me. I was so excited that for the last half hour I've watched it over and over! Yeah, that makes me a bit of a geek, but who cares!! I love the Harry Potter movies and books! It comes out on July 13th! I can't wait that long!! Another 2 months and 2 weeks! AUGH! You should go watch the trailer though.

In other news.. Brian and I close on our house this weekend and get to move in! I"m so excited to be getting out of this apartment living next to the SHIT queen and all!! (This lady does not pick up her 2 dogs crap and there about 80 piles out in front... even on her sidewalk, on the publid driveway, I've already complained 2 times which will just get me into another rant!)
Anyway, tomorrow we do the new owners walk through!!
Brian and I are going on a date tonight!! Dinner and a movie!! Hopefully I can catch the new Harry Potter trailer again!!!

Smoosh's 5th birthday!:)

2007-04-08T06:11:00.000-07:00

Smoosh turned 5 in March! What a cute little guy!! Kootie is seen here looking out the window waiting for Daddy to get home!

Coming along! Our house!

2007-04-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

Our house is coming along! Only about 2 more weeks and we get to move in!! YEAH!!!!

OPENING DAY 2007!!

2007-04-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

It was a really cold and snowy opening day for the Indians this year! The game was delayed due to white out conditions. Once it did start it was delayed 2 more times in the middle of play because one couldn't just see. We finally made it to the 4th inning after almost 2 hours. We were one stike away from getting the 3rd out and Mike Hargrove comes out complaining that his batter can't see and they called the game! It would've been an offical game it one more strike was thrown!! AUGH!! I felt ripped off a bit! I lost feeling in my toes and hands because a baseball player that I can see batting way out in outfield, who makes millions of dollars can't see the ball! I could see it and it wasn't being pitched to me!! At least I got to see Grady!! I think pretty much the whole opening weekend is going to be cancelled!! A lot of snow this weekend and really cold!!!! During one of the delays this guy runs out onto the field. He's being chased by the cops. He quickly lays down and makes a snow angel in outfield gets back up and tries to run some more. He is caught and arrested. Though I don't suggest anyone being stupid and doing this.. it did make the money I spent worth it just to see that idoit do that!!!!

Here are some fun pics!!

KIMBLEN- we'll miss you!

2007-03-18T14:26:00.000-07:00

I worked with Kimblen for the last 5-6 years at the hospital. A few weeks ago while at work she became short of breath and was sent to the ER and then admitted with pneumonia. After that I have bits and pieces of the story. Kim went home and then ended up being re-admitted.. that night she ended up in the ICU with difficulty breathing. She died last night in the unit. She was a funny woman who you were either cool with or you weren't. And she would let you know if you weren't. That is why she cracked me up all the time:) She was fun to work with. I got the news this morning talking to a co-worker on the phone. I was surprised and at the same time, I think I preparing for it because from things we were hearing, it didn't sound like the outcome would be good.
She will be missed greatly and all of my prayers go with her family!
I'll see if I can find a picture of her and possibly post it soon!!

OUR HOUSE!!

2007-03-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update you on our house!! It's getting there.. Should be done in the next 6 weeks! OH I can't wait! I hate this apartment! It's tiny and not to mention my neighbor doesn't pick up her dog shit! There is about 80 piles out there. I'm not even exaggerating!! It's crazy!! Ask brian!! She's a pig! Honestly!!

Anyway, back to our house! I drove by it on my way home! (I've had a tummy virus for the last few days so i came home to do some office work at home) Anyway, the builders have the brick on front of the house and another team looked like it was putting up the garage door! It is really coming together. I'm so far happy with our builders Ryan Home! I'll keep you updated on their work!:)

Here are some pics! Not of today, but of the last 2 weeks!

My niece and nephew

2007-03-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had my niece and nephew over. (as well as my brother and sister-in-law) Mikey and Rachel had fun playing! They are the cutest! They were entertained at the idea that on cold nights I wrap Kootie and Smoosh up in a blanket! Mikey wanted to be wrapped up like the dogs and well... Rachel does whatever Mikey does!

Andrea Parhamovich

2007-01-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

I found out today that a girl I considered a friend in high school died in Iraq. I was at work and picked up a newspaper. I saw Andrea's name and picture and it didn't register right away with me. I think I was in disbelief and shock at what I just read in the headline. No one expects to lift up the paper and see someone they know on the front page, let alone the fact that they were killed in a road side attack. As I said, I went to Pery High School with Andi and was very saddened to hear the news of her passing. I haven't talked to Andi in so long. I remember she was a great girl that always made me laugh. She was "spunky". She was small girl who was really sweet, but if she had to she could kick your ass! :) I remember playing softball with her my sophomore year in high school, she was a freshman. (I had to quit due to terrible tendonitis) I remember how every time we would play, Andi would have a french braid in her hair. I don't know why I always remember her with her hair pulled back like that. I just do. That was the immediate picture that came to my mind when after I read the article. The picture was her with a french braid in her softball uniform. I guess you always keep a picture of people in your life somewhere in your mind and this is how I remembered her. She would always tell me about her family. She loved them very much. SHe would often talk of her little brothers. She loved them a lot.
My heart goes out to her family. I know all too well what sudden loss feels like. It isn't easy, but I know they have a strong, good family that will remember her with love. The world needed more people like Andi, not less! It is a very sad day for our community in Perry. The old song says, "Only the good die young!" I've learned in my life time that this is so true and Andi was no exception. I'm not sure why it has to be that way or seem that way. She was a great girl. Andi, you will be missed and our prayers are with you and your family! I know a lot of people loved her. She touched my life with her spirit as I know she did with everyone else.
I was already upset by the war. After knowing that someone I know and admired has been killed because of it, it gives you a whole new level of frustration with it. I know in my heart that Andi because of who she was, was trying to make the best of a war that has been so tragic. She wanted something positive to come of all of this. That is just who she was. I'm not suprised by anything she has done in her life. She was someone to admire who had a warm spirit, a love of laughter and things positive in the world. I will always remember her as the lovable, spunky girl with the french braid in her hair, who loved life and everyone's life was better with her in it.

-----
Article taken from The News Heald

The family of Andrea Parhamovich, a Perry Township native killed in Iraq Wednesday, expressed overwhelming grief and deep sadness at their loss and asked for patience from the public as they deal with her death.National and international attention has focused on Parhamovich, 28, and her family, friends, fiance and employer since her death. She died alongside three bodyguards of Croatian, Hungarian and Iraqi nationality, in an ambush attack by an al-Qaida linked coalition of Sunni insurgents in Yarmouk, reportedly an increasingly violent neighborhood in western Baghdad.Her brother-in-law Joe Zampini read from a prepared statement Friday at his brother's business, Lake County Nursery in Perry Township. Her parents and brothers did not attend the news conference, but her sister Marci Zampini watched unobtrusively as television news crews, reporters and photographers focused on Joe."We wish to briefly share how wonderful and special a person Andi was," he said. "Andi was a confident, motivated, intelligent and loving young woman. She was a wonderful daughter, cherished sister, loving aunt and devoted friend who also put those around her first. "She embraced challenges which allowed her to achieve so much in a relatively short period of time. Andi always sought out great experiences that also allowed her to make a difference. It was that commitment to making a difference which led her to Iraq."Zampini and David Rolfes, an associate of Parhamovich's with National Democratic Institute of Washington, D.C., declined to respond to most media inquiries, saying family members had no real information to add to the statement and weren't likely to address the public again until sometime next week.Various reports about Parhamovich's life and tragic death were published Friday in papers across the nation. Zampini said Parhamovich was engaged to Newsweek reporter Michael Hastings, who worked at the publication's Baghdad bureau, and they planned to make arrangements sometime this winter to be married. Hastings will accompany Parhamovich's body back to the United States when arrangements can be made through the U.S. military for her transport home from Baghdad.Although the couple rarely had the time or freedom to get together while in Baghdad, they were planning to spend Valentine's Day together in Paris, according to various reports.Hastings was planning to ask her to marry him at that time, he told the New York Times. He characterized Parhamovich as tough and brave, yet lovable and charming. She had dreams of working on a presidential campaign and possibly running for Congress."She didn't agree with the war, but she felt that now that we're here, she wanted to do what she could to help the Iraqis. She wasn't afraid of taking risks," Hastings told the Associated Press.Zampini said Andi never spoke with family members of the details of the environment in which she worked while in Iraq. "She was really strong. I think she shielded us from that," he said."Andi's desire to help strangers in such a dangerous environment thousands of miles away might be difficult for others to understand, but to us, it epitomized Andi's natural curiosity and unwavering commitment. She was passionate, bold and caring, as exemplified by her work to improve the lives of all Iraqis.""We also want to extend our own heartfelt condolences to the families of those who gave their lives while protecting Andi. They, too, are in our thoughts and prayers," Zampini said.U.S. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad condemned the attack. "The young American who was killed in this attack, along with her security team, exemplified a commitment by all those who have never wavered in their resolve to build a stable, united and democratic Iraq," he said in a statement.Parhamovich was a program officer with the National Democratic Institute, providing training programs in democracy to the emerging government. She was not a member of the military.A statement posted on an Islamic Web site Thursday claimed the attack destroyed two sport-utility vehicles of the Zionist Mossad and a third was severely damaged. It was signed by a spokesman of the "Islamic state in Iraq," the so-called Islamic government claimed last year by al-Qaida and other Sunni Arab-linked groups. Mossad is the name given by al-Qaida to foreigners of unknown nationality and refers to the Israeli spy agency, wrote Maamoun Youssef, Associated Press writer in Cairo.Al Franken, who worked with Parhamovich at the liberal radio company Air America for about 18 months, said he's devastated by her death."She was a thoroughly charming intelligent, funny, idealistic, dedicated young woman," he said. "It was just great being in her presence because you felt like you were in the presence of a really good person, a real American. She was lovely in every way, just beautiful."Franken said Parhamovich was not the kind of person to criticize without doing something to help fix it."She was against the war but nevertheless saw that what Iraq needs is the growth of democratic institutions," he said.Matthew Hiltzik, president of Freud Communications Inc. in New York, was Parhamovich's boss when she worked for film company Miramax about four years ago. The two remained close friends and later, she was supposed to help him start his company, but then he recommended she go to Air America.In Iraq, she wanted to work on spreading democracy there for about a year, then use that experience to perhaps work with a presidential candidate on foreign affairs, Hiltzik said.A run for Congress also was in her dreams, he said.Parhamovich, a liberal who had worked for a Republican Massachusetts governor, was an avid Cleveland Indians and Browns fan who had a fondness for the underdog. "She always felt for Marty Schottenheimer," Hiltzik said.She named the fantasy football team the two had after the San Diego Chargers coach who is the most successful one never to have reached the Super Bowl.There have been no public services set at this time, but arrangements will be made through Johnson Funeral Home of Painesville.The Associated Press and New York Times contributed to this article.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN

2007-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

Brian's 30th birthday is tomorrow. I'm so excited to celebrate it this weekend! Happy Birthday baby-doll!

My heartbreak

2007-01-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

OSU lost to the Gators 41-14. What the hell happened? I think it was the fact that the Bucks didn't play a game for 50 days prior to that game. I don't think it was the Heisman curse. Screw that idea. I was so sad. What makes it more sad now is that I owe my cousin 1 million dollars or 1 million jr cheeseburgers! :) She is a Gator. How do I face her this summer when she comes to visit, especially after all my trash talking? I'll be a woman about it and just egg her car!

I'm cold

2007-01-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

For some reason the only warm place in our apartment is in our bedroom or up in the loft upstairs. My bedroom is actually too warm, more like a suana. It is lightly snowing outside right now. I was just thinking about the fact that tomorrow I go back to work for the first time in over 2 months. I think I'm ready. The time off was more than great though! I needed it.
I walked the dogs outside yesterday. Not very far though. I noticed that the tulips I planted last spring are coming up through the ground again. I can't believe that the ground is that warm and the weather has been so wonderful that the tulips are starting to grow. I never bought my calla lillies in the pot in. I went over to them and noticed that they are growing also. This is crazy! But it made me smile. Spring isn't too far away. Yeah I know that winter's offical start was only 3 weeks ago, but still, spring is coming soon! I can't wait!

2006-12-31T21:09:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2007!!!!

ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

2006-12-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

I just got back from seeing Rocky Balboa with a group of friends. There was pretty much an entire row of us. I am pleased to annouce that I liked the movie. I was a little nervous at first because I thought the movie would be unbelievable, but it was very good. I loved it!!! And Tony didn't wet his pants!! Right now I'm really looking forward to seeing Transformers and Harry Potter. But I have to wait all the way till July! 7 and half more months for crying out loud!!
I'm glad they did a Rocky 6! It well made up for the piece of shit that was Rocky 5.
No one, not even Rocky fans liked that sorry excuse for a film! Rocky Balboa (rocky 6) gets 2 chocolate and butter covered thumbs up!! ( I like eating M&M's and popcorn in the same mouth full! Like chocolate covered popcorn!:)

updates

2006-12-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty bad on the updates. But it's not like I'm doing much sitting at home! My knee is healing though it looks like there is still some swelling in it. The doc my have to stick a needle in there and drain it he said. Not looking forward to that. I feel like I've been through enough already this year! We haven't done a lot at all since I'm stuck at home. I updated my MYSPACE page. Oh boy! hee hee. Actually I like it a lot more than I did before. I think it's pretty off the hook now! Don't hate!
We had people over for the OSU/Michigan game! I can't believe that the Buckeyes are going to be playing my cousins Gators. I'm thinking of sending her a Gator Hunter T-shirt with Jim Tressel on it! Ah, i would be worth it I think! Nothing too much going on. Brian's cousin Jen got married this weekend. It was nice ceremony! We have been waiting for awhile for Pedro to get his visa. Now he is finally our family. What else is there? Nikya stayed for 3 days and drove me up a wall. I love her, but she is a non-stop machine always asking things over and over in hopes that she will wear you down and you will give in. The problem was was that I didn't give in so I got to be driven mad! I have to send the rest of our cards out. After that, that is it! Christmas is almost here. My favorite time of the year! Merry Christmas everyone! ANd Happy New Year!!!

my knee

2006-11-15T11:52:00.001-08:00

I had surgery on my knee finally. They took the hamstring tendon and used it to repair the ACL that was torn.. Also they had to "shave" down the medial menicus. The doctor poked holes in the menicus to get it to bleed. They said it clotted and that tissue would end up becoming a healed menicus. Kind of strange, but cool I guess.
I woke up and felt like shit! They did a femoral block but for some reason it was hurting. Really painful. My oxygen levels kept going down to the low 80's. Usually it's suppose to be in the upper 90's to 100. I started to throw up quite a bit. So I ended up staying. Which I'm glad that I was staying. I don't think I would've been very good at home. I'm posting some post-op pics. Kind of gross, but cool! Frank, my best friend, took some pics at the doctors office after the doc took off my dressings. Then he took me over to rehab... I did exercises and iced it. I liked the compression ice device. It felt great!

Surgery

2006-10-29T17:41:00.000-08:00

I'll be having knee surgery on November 2nd for my torn ACL, medial meniscus and tibial plateau fracture. Actually I won't need surgery for the fracture. Just the other 2.
I'll be out of work for 8-9 weeks. *sigh* Maybe it is God's way of saying I need a break! I'll just look at it that way. If anyone is bored and has free time in the next 2 months, come and visit me! I'll be at home, or at rehad, trying to get better and stronger!

Health update!

2006-10-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

AUGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!! I just had to immediately get that out! So Brian and I are 2 weeks away from in vitro.. 2 weeks away from more than likely becoming pregnant. Then I get the MRI results. I didn't actually go to the doctor. I had a PA look up my MRI's with me. The report next the images were not good. I don't know how to read MRI's. I was more curious about that report. The report said: Ruptured ACL, nondisplaced lateral tibial plateau fracture, probably tear of the postierior horn of the medial meniscus. And some other stuff that said another probable tear that was not acute. In other words, something that may have happened a long time ago, just never had caused me pain.
I am going to see both doctors tomorrow. I'm more than likely going to have to have knee surgery and I'm going to have to put the IVF on hold. Which breaks my heart! But I'll find out more tomorrow about how much I need surgery for me knee. I have been reading up on it and it looks like a lot of people regret putting it off, only to find out their knees got worse. I just am heartbroken because I will have to put off IVF.
I'm just so frustrated because of all the things that have happened this year.
Trying to get pregnant..
Spraining my ankle and wrist at work
Spraining my right knee
F-ing up my left knee
My mom finding out that she has colon cancer, which is just in the diagnosis phase.
Possible needing surgery now for my own knee.
Being so close to IVF.
More time off of work.
My grandpa dying.
My aunt dying.
2 of my favorite patients dying.
1 of my former patients not doing so well.
2 of my patients right now aren't doing so great!

The only good things this year.. Italy and france, New Orleans with Brian. Our anniversary weekend get away! And the weddings this year, Nicole and Sanjay, Jen and Greg, Sue and Dave, Rachel and Jason, Alessa and Nick, Matt and Christine. Those are good things!

Now I'm really upset because I want to do something special for Brian's birthday and we really don't have the means right now. AUGH!!! I"m just so stressed! I'm going to go nap!

Team Photo

2006-10-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Even though I'm not playing football anymore, we got a team photo together at one of Mike's last games.

Here are the Super Scrubs.

I got a pug on my lap

2006-10-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

Kootie decided to sit on my lap while I blog. He is so cute! He is wanting some attention . He wants to type and say hi to everyone! He keep placing his paw on the keyboard and is trying to read the screen like he is the writer!! I can't take how cute this little guy is!
Anyway, I am offically 30. A little scary I know! But it will be what I make of it right! We went to dinner at Johnny Mango's on the night of my birthday. But the next night we met our families out for dinner at the Melting Pot. It was alright! Overrated and overpriced I think! But it was still a good birthday!
Brian ran in the Columbus Marathon today! His time was...... 2:59.38. I am so proud of him! Of course his first sub 3 comes when I can't be there! I wish I could've seen him! I am so happy for him! He has worked long and hard for that and he did it!!!!!
He is napping right now because he has to go into work tonight to start up everything. I'm so happy I have off tomorrow. It will be busy, but I'm not at work!:) I will be going to a few doctor appointments. I have to get an MRI tomorrow to finally see if I tore a ligament in my knee. It is still in pain and it is about damn time too! Maybe I can get that resolved. I have some fertility doc stuff to tomorrow too. It will be a busy day. In fact I'm going to go to bed here real soon!
NIGHT!!!

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

2006-10-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

So for weeks now.. more like months.. Brian has told me that he had a surprise for my upcoming 30th birthday. We were going somewhere but he wouldn't tell me where. So this past weekend I found out where we were going.:) We packed up and headed for my favorite city, New Orleans. I was so excited about going back. I was there last year before the Hurricane Katrina. But I was wanting to go back to show support to my favorite city. The city that I have so many found memories in. We arrived there and headed to our favorite watering whole, Pat O'Brien's. But not before we stopped and ate some beingets at Cafe Du Monde. Well, we arrive at Pat O's and I ordered my favorite drink, The Rainstorm. Brian and I are drinking and I'm getting this warm fuzzy feeling. It was like I was home, since I've been there so many times. I was so relaxed but at the same time a little sad to see it had changed somewhat. Our taxi driver took us through an area that was affected by the flood. Not to a huge degree, but a lot of places were boarded up and the houses were spray painted with the sign that has come to be part of all the pictures of houses on the Gulf Coast. But the city still had a sense of " we're fighting back!" People were back in the city and trying to move on in their lives. While at Pat O's I looked across the patio and I saw a man looking at me, smiling, headed my way with my favorite drink in his hand. I turn to Brian and said, "Is that Frank Kitchen?" (for those who don't know him, he is my guy best friend, my brother. ) I was stunned, but then noticed this little blonde girl ducking behind him peeking around him. It was my best friend Michelle, who lives in North Carolina! They both made the trip down to surprise me. I see Frank all the time, but to see him down in New Orleans, was great! It was also great to spend time with Michelle since I never get to see her as much as I would like. I have been bugging her and Frank forever to come down to New Orleans with me. I was so excited! Brian went through so much work to surprise me!! And he totally did! I am the luckiest girl alive to have such a wonderful and caring husband! He is the world to me ! I'm so grateful for getting to share my life with my best friend. :)
Anyway, I was in shock to see Michelle and Frank! That in itself was the best birthday present ever! To be surrounded by my best friends and my husband in a city that I love! It was so amazing! We had dinner at Emeril's place, NOLA. I love that place, if only because the service is the best I've ever had and the garlic bisque soup is the best I've ever had! And it doesn't hurt to mention that the last night we were there, we went to the casino and I won $1600 on the slot machine!! Can you believe it!!!??? I did need the money bad! And the whole story is a good one in itself. When I walked in the door, I go to this slot machine to see if it was a .25 cent one. As I look at it, the guy next to me just won the big jackpot of $1250. I thought to myself, "Man ! Stuff like that never happens to me!" That was the first time I witnessed someone with a jackpot on a slot! So we explore the area and I quickly lose $20 on one machine. I decided I was done. Michelle has never been to a casino before, so she tries a penny machine. I'm sitting next to her while Frank and Brian are at another machine. I keep looking over at these 2 slot machines. $1 slots. I tell Michelle, "Man, one of those machines is calling my name. I'm going to do only $10 more bucks. " I immediately win $10 on my first spin. I max bet each time $2 max bet. So I quickly get down to $2 left. I hit the max bet botton... and I WON!!! $1600 beans on my last $2 !!! As I wait for an attendant, people congratulate me. Even this guy 2 machines from me shakes my hand. The attendant comes up and her name is the same as my sister who passed away, Melissa. I wondered if it was a sign that my sister was looking down on me. She leaves to get some paper work processed. I wait at the machine like I was told to do. This is the first jackpot I've ever won, not to mention the 2nd I witnessed in 1 night. I've never seen any before. About 15 minutes later, I'm still waiting for my money when the guy that shook my hand, hit a jackpot. He won $10,000. The 3rd of the night and I witnessed it! He yelled over to me, "I just won 10,000, can you believe it!? " To think, I've never even witnessed 1 let alone had one myself and witnessed 2 of 2 people right next to me! Michelle returns from playing a Star Wars slot and she won $200 herself. Her first time ever in a casino!! I felt luck was on our side that night! People around me were winning! Too bad Brian didn't want to gamble that night!:) It was just a great time! I was so tired! I'm so tired now! But it's a good reason to be tired!

It felt good being in the city despite all the suffering that had been in the city. It isn't quite back to itself. They need more tourist. It wasn't as busy as I was use to. The Riverwalk mall that I loved going to made me realize how much as changed in the city. Most the shops in the mall were closed and it was a dead place. Usually the Riverwalk and Spanish plaza are filled with people, but it wasn't this time. I actually thought the mall was closed. The food court there is usually huge with at least 15 places to eat if not more. There were only 3 places open. And really 2 with one place for beverages open. That showed me the effects of the hurricane. I couldn't walk near the Convention Center knowing people had died there just a year earlier. It broke my heart. Someday I will though. The city is coming back and if you ever get the chance, I suggest you go there. It is an amazing place! The pic above of me outside the hotel was at 6 am and we are leaving to the airport. I didn't get to bed till 3 am, so I just went in my pajamas.

Our 1st anniversary!

2006-09-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Sept. 24th was our first anniversary! We went down to Hocking Hills and stayed in the Pleasant Valley Cabins. My original hope was to go hiking in that area. Due to my knee injury, we weren't able to. But we were able to go to one park, Ash Cave, that had a trail for the physically challenged. We also spent a few hours at Ohio University where Brian went to college. The cabin was amazing and clean! The couple that owns the cabins offers a food service for an extra fee. They give you a menu to choose from. We chose cornish game hen. The food was fantastic! In the morning we had eggs benedict and peacan camermal french toast! It was so delicious! We also received a couple's massage from Blue Valley Massages. It was great and definately what we needed. They came to our cabin and everything! It was so relaxing!
Here are the pictures from our trip! Since I love photography we took some extra pics at the park! (I am thinking of finding a photography class on Monday's instead of playing football!:)

A regular Grace Kelly

2006-09-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

So I hurt my knee again. This time playing football and it really is worse than it was before. I still don't understand though why I can't get an MRI at the ER I go to. Instead I have to go to the Ortho doc today and see if he will order one. I'm the biggest klutz in the world. After this injury, I have reached the injury limit for a 2 years now. So I'm done!!! At least for 2 more years, but hopefully no more injuries after this!

Light the Night and Nikya's first Indian's game

2006-09-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

Every year there is something called Light the Night. It is an event to help raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It also happened on the same day as an Indians game so we decided to take Nikya to her first Indians game. She even got to run the bases.
We did the walk for Page. I also did the walk for my friend John who is fighting hard and in memory of Angela and Gary.

Alessa's Shower

2006-09-20T05:23:00.001-07:00

My friend Alessa, who has been one of me friends longer than anyone is getting married next month. I went down to Pittsburgh with my mom and Nikya for the shower.

OSU vs TEXAS

2006-09-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

We had a little party for the OSU vs. TEXAS game at my parents. Here are some pics

Rachel and Jason's wedding day!

2006-09-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

CRAPPY YEAR!

2006-08-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

There have been some pretty great things that have happened in the last year. Like some of my friends getting married, going to Boston, France and Italy. All that has been wonderful and I can't complain. But the rest of the year... I think someone has it out for me! I spained my ankle and wrist this year. (I'll blame that on Linda) My aunt died...my grandpa died... Angela died...I've been having a hard time getting pregnant.. and now.. I HURT MY KNEE AT THE ZOO. I took Nikya to the zoo and we were having a lot of fun. We were up on this deck looking at the zebra's. (I never realized just how beautiful they really are!) And I was walking down the steps and something popped in my left knee. The posterior side of it. It hurst to walk and bend it, though the bending is getting better. I went to the ER and it's not broken ( I DIDN"T FALL IDOITS!) There was no cyst that reputured, but now I have to go to specialist to make sure the cartilage isn't damaged. I think I pulled my upper calf muscle or tore it possibly near the knee area. I think that is what happened. Now I have to go to a specialist to get an MRI.. WHY COUDLN"T THEY DO IT IN THE ER??? I mean they had one right there!!! I went past it on my way to ultrasound!!!
What a frickin year!
Hopefully our anniversary and my birthday and our trip to Chicago to see family and Alessa's wedding and Rachel and J's wedding are good.. That is what we have going on in the next 2 months. We are suppose to start IVF soon. But we might hold it till later at the end of October beginning November.

Dave and Sue's wedding August 5th 2006

2006-08-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

My brother in law, David got married 2 weeks ago.. Please welcome Sue to our family!:)

2006-08-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy and maybe a little depressed too. THe busy part is that we had David and Sue's wedding on August 5th. It was a good day! Beautiful weather. And it wasn't as blistering hot as it has been this summer. I will post pics soon of the event!
Also we went to a baseball game. Jen, Brian's cousin, got us tickets to go!
Then we celebrated my mom's birthday. SHe is 56.. but she doesn't look it at all!
We have a lot coming up on our plates.. almost every weekend is planned for me till after December.
This weekend I work
Next weekend I work:)
Then Sept 3rd, my friends Jason and Rachel are getting married, (and I have to work one of the days)
Then Sept 10th, I'm going to PIttsburgh for Alessa wedding shower,
Then I have to work
Then Sept 23-24th is our 1st anniversary weekend! :)
Then I have to work!:(
Then Oct 6-8, Brian is taking me somewhere or is up to something for my upcoming 30th birthday.
Then I have to work!:(
Then Oct 21-22, we will go to Chicago to see some family
Then Oct 28th-29th, I will be going to Pittsburgh for Alessa's wedding.
Then I will work for 2 weeks in a row.
We are either going to go to Philly for Brian's marathon on Nov 18th-19th
Then Thanksgiving weekend I'll be working, but I will try to get off Thanksgiving itself to spend with my family coming from out of town.
Then Brian is either going to Canton for high school football playoffs, or we are going to have our annunal thanksgiving dinner. WE have to figure that out.
Then I work!
Then I'm going to spend Christmas the weekend of Dec 16th.
Then is will be christmas and Imay have to work. I'm not sure yet.
THen it will be New Years and Imay have to work, not sure yet.
Then the weekend after New years will be Brain's 30th birthday. Not sure what we are going to do yet, but I'll figure it out!
And somewhere during this time we are going to be doing IVF.

As much as I love having things to do.. I would rather have a weekend to ourselves. Our first weekend to ourselves in a long time happened the weekend my grandfather died. We stayed in that weekend and didn't do anything. Despite the reason, it was nice just to relax and veg!

Angie

2006-07-31T06:48:00.000-07:00

My patient that I previous wrote about died on Thursday. The day after we buried my grandfather. I hadn't seen her for a few days. I tried calling up to the hospital, but I couldn't get much information. On Thursday morning my friend Linda called me to tell me that they were going to take her off of life support. So I woke up right away and got dressed as fast as I could and drove to the hospital. I wore my work clothes since I had to work that afternoon. I got there just in time as they were taking the breathing tube out. I think she may have been gone before that. She never took a breath after the tube came out. She died about a minute later. I stayed with her and her family a little while longer. Then I asked the nurse caring for her if I could help wash her up. So a co-worker and I stayed. I wanted to wash her up. My co-worker Sue, I think was staying for my benefit, though I know she cared for her, I think she knew I was having a hard time. Everyone loved Angie. I think helping clean her up was a good way for me to say good-bye. I think also it gave her family a little comfort that someone that deeply cared for her was still taking care of her after she was gone.
Later on after, Sue took me to get some chocolate therapy. We got 2 large hot chocolates and sat outside. It had just stormed.
The storm was a little wierd in itself. Angie loved storms. And as I was walking into the building prior to her passing, it was lightly raining. No storm yet. I got to the 3rd floor and walked in to her room as they were taking the tube out and outside the window you could hear thunder and see lighting. The storm was at it's max. It was pouring down rain and a full blown storm when she passed. A few moments later, there was peace. No storm, no rain. Clouded over, but the storm had stopped. Angie's mom thinks it was her leaving this world. And the way the storm happened at just that moment, I believe it. The rest of the night it stormed. I was at work, but I sat for a bit in an empty room and watched another fierce storm come in. The next day it turned out to be more than some needed. It flooded in my home county of Lake county. Pretty severe too!
I sat in that room and thought of her and something her mom said. Angie's mom told me that maybe Angie and my sister Missy are already friends in heaven. That made me smile. Angie and I talked about my sister during the months that she was in the hospital and I think that she will pass on to my sister a good message from me. I would say that my sister is having a busy week greeting people in heaven. My grandfather and Angie. I'm laughing at myself because I just thought of my patient and friend Marcus that died 2 years ago. I told him before he died that he had to stay away from my sister in heaven , because I knew him and he would hit on her. He always laughed at this. He would tell me that he was going to spend his days looking at beautiful woman in showers. I just thought now that I should've warned Angie about him:) He was great and I miss him at times too. I know all of it sounds a little silly, but it gives me comfort thinking that those I love and had cared for are together in heaven. If they remain the people they were, I know that my sister and Angie would get along great. And I know that Marcus would get along great with them. I know that Missy had my grandfather Chester for a long time with her. So that always gave me a comfort that she wasn't alone. And we all adored him, so I know she was in good hands.

This is how I feel lately

2006-07-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

I just thought I would leave the lyrics of song I like.. it's new. It's from Keane. And just lately I have felt this way. It's a great song!

I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and truth
It's on but now I think how I was wrong
And you were laughing along
And now I look a fool to thinking you were wrong
My sight
Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
Sometimes
It's hard to know where I stand
It's hard to know where I am
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand
But sometimes
I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric in a tail-goes-round
It sounds by
Is it any wonder that I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
All these days
After all the misery made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrade
Nothing left inside this old cathedral
Just this sad lonely aspires
Adding you make it right
Oh did you try
Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
All these days
After all the misery made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrade

2006-07-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

My grandfather died today. My sister called and told me an hour ago. I know we had been waiting for this awhile, but it is still hard. I'll miss him. I spent the last hour looking for my favorite pic of him. It is of me and him and I'm hugging him and kissing him on the cheek. I had it in a special place and now I can't find it... I think I"m looking too hard. I"m sure I will find it when I least expect it. I think I may have placed it in my safe a few months back. It's just a fire proof safe were I keep memories.. Old pics of those I love, old letters from Brian and other friends.
I have to look through there next... I feel pretty sad right now and keep crying on and off. I was thinking about after my grandmother died. She died a month after Missy.. I remember crying, but barely. I think that whole time I felt numb from Missy's death. Everytime you loose someone you love, I think it gets harder. Your family gets smaller.
I have to find that picture. It's bothering me.

My Grandfather

2006-07-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

As I'm writing this.. I realize that I either have extreme highs in my life or extreme lows right now. For example, the extreme highs would be : our trip to France and Italy, Nicole and Jen's weddings, my niece's 3rd birthday, Brian's ironman and marathons. My extreme lows have been : trying to concieve a baby (though that can be mixed in high and low) and my patient A's condition change. Now I must add my Grandfather to that list. He has kidney cancer. And he decided in Dec 2004 that he would not recieve treatment for it. He told me he lived a full life, had a great wife, great children and great grandchildren. The doctors told him that he only had 3 months at that point. He said he believed he would die on his birthday. The 3 months went by and Grandpa did not die. Around his birthday I was a little nervous. But still he did not pass. He lived on through Christmas that we got to share with him. I got pictures of him and his great grandchildren, my 2 nieces Rachel and Nikya and my nephew Mikey. He has lived longer than the doctors expected. Almost a year and half longer so far. His birthday is coming up on August 5th. So his own prediction might come true. It shouldn't be too much longer now. ANd that brings great sadness to my heart. It brings realization and makes me sad that I don't get along with my father. I have tried. It is more his doing than mine. He is too proud! My father wouldn't go to my wedding because I was inviting black people to my wedding. (He's a racist bastard!)
Anyway, all this makes me sad because I love my grandfather and he is going to be gone soon. He was one of the only reasons this family still stayed together as long as it has. Now that he is gone, I think our whole family will be seperated. I stay close to my cousins Vince and Denise and my aunt Cindy. . We kind of have our own family unit together. I hope we keep that going. I am still close to my Aunt Connie and Uncle Roger. Maybe not super close, but you know what I mean. My Aunt Connie has been caring for my grandfather and is trying to hold our family together. She has worked really hard with the stubborn people in our lives.
Maybe after my grandfather dies, it will bring my own dad around, but I doubt it. My dad gets colder and more harsh as people leave his life. I sent him a father's day card. Nothing too mushy. But something that would let him know I was thinking of him. But I haven't heard from him. I sent one to my grandfather too. I think I'm going to leave for work early tomorrow and see him for a bit. I would like to spend a little more time with him before he goes.

Jen and Greg's wedding

2006-07-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

Brian's cousin Jen got married this weekend as well. Actually, she was married already, but they never had the ceremony or reception they wanted to since he had to leave for Iraq. So this was their day. It was great time. Her mother Cathy, carried a red rose that was placed in a chair next to her, in memorial to Jen's father Mike. Mike passed away from ALS, other wise known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. It was a beautiful outdoor ceremony at the Geneva Lodge. She looked beautiful and the bridesmaid's dresses were incredible. Dinner was great as well!

Nicole and Sanjay's wedding

2006-07-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Brian and I had 2 weddings to go to. Nicole and Sanjay's wedding was first. I've known Nicole since I was maybe 8. She was one of my sister Missy's closest friends since elementary school. Since Missy has been gone, Nioole and I have stayed in touch!
She looked so beautiful on her wedding day! I am so happy for her. She found herself a great guy! Missy's best friend Jessica, was also in Nicole's wedding (as she was mine!) One pic I have is of Nicole looking up. It was that moment she was so choked up on happiness that she couldn't talk. It was a beautiful ceremony. I loved the traditional Indian dresses the bridesmaids wore. Everything was beautiful! I can't wait to hear about her honeymoon!

Nikya's 3rd birthday

2006-07-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

Brian and I got back from France and Italy on Nikya's birthday. July 4th! We were able to attend her birthday party! Which is very important to me! She is my little buddy and I love her to pieces! Here is some pics from her party!

ITALY

2006-07-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

We took a flight to Rome 2 days after the Ironman. This is something I wanted to do for so long. #1 because Italy is part of my heritage, but also because Rome has so much history. It is amazing! Some of the worlds greatest thinkers and most talented artists made history there. A lot of our western civilization comes from there. We viewed so many pieces of art. We saw the Vatican, the pope, the oldest church probably in the Christian world. It was great! Again, my only complaint was so incredibly hot. But it was still beautiful. We were there during the World Cup playoffs when Italy played the Ukraine. It was so great. Such as eletricity.. Imagine the Indians back in the world series and think of that all over 1 country!

France

2006-07-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

As everyone probably knows by now, Brian and I just returned from France and Italy. Our initial reason for the trip was that Brian entered his first ever Ironman in Nice, France. He did a great job for all that he had to go through. He had to swim 2.4 miles in the beautiful Mediterranean Sea, then he had to bike 112 miles through the gorgeous country side of Southern France. He then had to complete a 26.2 mile run on the beach front area of Nice.
We saw many beautiful things and the people we rented an apartment from were super nice. The only complaint I have is that it was too hot. It was hot in a way it hasn't been here in Cleveland in a while. I actually think we bought the heat back with us. We had to opportunity to spend the night in Paris as well. We took a 3 hour self guided tour of the city! It was so beautiful. I would love to spend more time there some day!
Here are some pics from France.

So tired

2006-07-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

So last night I saw the Goo Goo Dolls and the Counting Crows. .. They were so wonderful. Both bands. I just love them! Johnny and Adam (next to Dave, Chris and Nick) have the best voices! (which is probably why I have 5 favorite bands!) I can totally loose myself in music.. But as soon as I lost myself, the next day I was bought back to reality.

I got to work to find out my long time primary patient was in the unit. I was her primary nurse. You see a primary nurse means that everytime you are in the hospital, every day that that nurse works, she will care for you.
So I was A.'s primary.
I remember the first day I met her. She was 26 years old. It was 2 years ago this summer. I met her on her first day at the hospital. You see, she was at work and tried making an appointment with her doctor. But it was going to take a month before she could get an appointment. The eye doctor she worked for decided that since it would be so long and she has felt so bad for awhile, he would draw blood and send it on her. That night her employer got the call that her white blood cell count was in the hundreds.. (that is bad and indicates leukemia.)
She got admitted right to our hospital the next day... She got to work and he told her to go to the our hospital. Her whole world was turned around.
For the next 6 weeks she recieved chemo and stayed in the hospital until her immune system came back. When it did, she went home... for a bit. Then was admitted for an auto transplant. It is a transplant in which they give you your own cells back after you have had intense chemo. So again for 6-8 weeks I was with her everyday while she was in the hosptial. She was in remission for almost a year when she found out this past November that her leukemia was back. She would have to get more chemo and another transplant. Her problem was that she only had half siblings and none of them really matched her. So she got an umblical cord transplant.. But she had to endure a few weeks of chemo. Then she came back for her transplant. Just a few days before New Years. She recieved her transplant, but it didn't take.. and her immune system didn't come back. So after 6 weeks, they gave her a second transplant. With another umbilical cord transplant. *side note* Umblilical cord blood that is left in the cord after a baby is born are stems cells. So we take those unused baby cells and try to use them for transplants. Anyway, the second one didn't take. She still had no immune system. It was going on 12 weeks in the hospital. The same room and everything. The same floor.. she wasn't allowed to leave our floor in fear that she would get an infection. We found out that the reason her transplant wasn't taking was because of a certain virus that she had... So the medical team treated the virus... and she went home with no immune system as the doctors talked of another transplant. They tested her siblings anyway at this time to see if they were a match. Her brother was only a 50% match. They wanted to use him, but because he was 8 and some other BS.. the FDA refused the transplant. So her mother, who was 50% donated her cells. During the time A. was waiting to find out about her next transplant, her counts didn't recover and she got an infection. She was in the hosptial another month. She went home for 2 weeks and came back for her transplant from her mother. Usually she would've had to stay 6 weeks till her counts went up, but the docs let her go home. She came back with another infection a few weeks ago and was in for 3 weeks. She went home about a week or more ago... She was told her mothers transplant didn't take and that she had no hope. Yesterday she was admitted to our ICU... And today they intubated her. I want to believe in miracles, but I know they don't happen. She is going to more than likely die from this infection. I was in there today before they put the tube in. I bought her the rosary I got her from the vatican, hoping it would bring her some holy influence. Some miracle. I sat with her mom when the docs told her that she was going to need to be intubated. They also warned her mother that she may never be able to come off the vent. They went forth with it anyway. I came back to the ICU to be with her after my shift ended. It was horrible. I couldn't help it. I started to cry.. and have been crying ever since, except for our football game. I went through so much with her day in and day out. She is a total fighter. I've been so proud of how much she has gone through and struggled with. It breaks my heart to see her this way. God has to give us this miracle and let her immune system come back... Even thought it may come back. I don't think it will help. She is going to pass. I tried not to get attached to her. But she was just like my patient and friend Marcus. I was with him as his nurse for 2 years. He passed almost 2 years ago. I feel him with me a lot. For some reason I feel him in my car when i'm driving. Another patient that was friends of A's passed on. He was a great guy and I hope he is there for her when it is time for her to go. I just hate having to see her suffer and still know what is going on. She is so brave and I feel a great deal of sadness.. almost like I'm losing a family member. Please pray for her... hoping that she will make it through.

ITALY WINS WORLD CUP!!

2006-07-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of my boys! My heritage!:) I cried with happiness during the win and got to share the win with some great friends and my great husband! I just wish we still could've been in Italy when the win happened! I smiled thinking of the celebration going on there! I could only imagine it! And I bet it was great!

I just got back.... GO ITALIA!!!

2006-07-06T14:09:00.000-07:00

I just got back from France and Italy.. And funny, they are both in the World Cup final! I was so glad to be in those 2 countries at this time. We watched Italy beat the Ukraine while in Italy. After the game for 4 hours people drove around the streets with Italian flags from their windows, beeping their horns! Parent dragged their children out at midnight to drive around while their kids held the Italian flag out the window. Something the children I'm sure will always remember! People in the streets yelling at waving to those in the cars, waving flags of their own! It was amazing to see! I felt so proud of my heritage at that point! I could never imagine that the United States would ever be that united to have something like a soccer game bring them out into the streets all over the country and celebrate something wonderful like that! Everyone was happy and excited! Then Italy beat Germany and I could only see the images on TV of Italy celebrating. I was so sad that I had to leave then. I wish I could be there this weekend for the final game! Even while in France, when France won, we heard fireworks going off after the game. We weren't out so I don't know if in the city center people were doing the same as we saw in Italy. I wish we had something to unite our country like that. We get excited about nothing anymore. Only if our teams make it to a play off. Nothing that would really unite a whole country, only 1 or 2 cities. I wish we had that passion in everyday life! I am hoping Italia wins!!!! I'll be crossing my fingers. Till then, here is an ad that I saw in Italy of Italia Futball players for Dolce and Gabbana! TOTALLY HOT! Like I said, Italy has the hottest futball players!

NOT TO BE A TRADER BUT......

2006-06-16T18:55:00.000-07:00

GO ITALY!!!! WORLD CUP ACTION BABY!!!!! Italy has the hottest soccer team and I'm not just talking about skills baby!!!! Totti and Nesta!!! SUPER HOT!!! And I am Italian! I have relatives in Italy! So I'm cheering for my heritage! (Go Poland too!!)

LAKE HOUSE

2006-06-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

Brian and I watched the movie "The Lake House". In my personal opinion, I thought it was good. It made me laugh, cry, sad and happy. So whatever the movie critics say, screw them! I give it 2 chocolate covered, butter popcorn holding, thumbs up!
I saw the previews for "Pirates of the Carribean." MAN I CAN"T WAIT! It looks off the hook!!!!! There are so many good movies coming out. Just seeing the previews of all the new films got me excited. I should've been in movies! Or made them, or something! I just love them!

Lloyd Dobbler is my hero!

2006-06-13T05:48:00.001-07:00

I watched "Say Anything" last night. I have been wanting to see it for a long time. We bought the DVD, so we watched it. It really brings backs ones memories of their first love. John Cusak is just amazing to begin with. He was beyond adorable in this movie. A little odd, mostly when he was nervous, but it was cute and understandable. The whole movie made me laugh and want to cry at times. I wish that my sister would find a Lloyd Dobbler of her own.
We were watching deleted scenes and they showed several different scenes of John Cusak holding up the infamous stereo. It was pretty funny watching some of the different takes. The different ways he held the radio. In one scene he even got his coat caught in his car door! There was one scene that I liked. He was sitting on his car with his radio playing next to him. I think that would've been effective. But I think him standing there with the radio showed more conviction. I was just a little disappointed that "Diane" didn't get her ass our of her bed to see what was going on. It was their song. Didn't she want to see him? I would've wanted to see him! (Then again, I LOVE John Cusak!) It would've been even more powerful if she saw him. She heard the music playing but they never show you if she knows it is him.
It was a really good movie and is up there with my favorites!

Funny thing

2006-06-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

My sister called me tonight to tell me something funny. Nikya , my niece was a my flower girl at our wedding. I picked the cutest dresses. Well on the dress it had a strip of flowers. Now mind you Nikya is going to be 3 in July. She finds the flowers from the dress and said, "Hey, I wore this when Reese got married. I could marry Uncle Brian, but I'm not old enough yet! " My sister askes her to repeat what she just said and Nikya said, "I want to marry Uncle Brian, but I'm not old enough yet. I have to get bigger. " My sister laughed and then tried to explain to Nikya why she couldn't marry Uncle Brian. "Because he is married already to Aunt Reese." So I had to explain to Nikya that Uncle Brian was alreay married to me. And that is the only reason why he can't marrye her. She asked me, "Well, can I marry him when I'm bigger? " I tried to explain to her that he can't marry her, but he still loves her very much. She said, "O.k. Reese! I love uncle brian too!" She is so darn cute! The other day when she hurt her finger, she didn't want to talk to me. She wanted Uncle B. I told Brian about what Nikya said and I think that tore at his heart strings big time! I love her to pieces. We are thinking of doing some things with her this summer. Maybe take her camping. Maybe take her for a bike ride through the metro parks with her little Dora bike. Possibly even take her fishing. I use to think fishing was the best when I was little. I think she would also like the attention that Aunt Reese and Uncle B give her. She can test your nerves, but is so cute. It is hard to be mad at her. And she knows how to manipulate people so they aren't mad at her. She is so innocent. I wish she could stay that way forever! I can't wait till we have kids of our own!

New Orleans

2006-06-04T20:40:00.000-07:00

I was just watching a show called, "It Could Happen Tomorrow". The topic was about New Orleans and what could happen if a hurricane hit the city. It was done 4 months before Katrina hit.
Thinking about what happened to New Orleans breaks my heart. It is one of my favorite cities. It has such culture and such a feel to it. I was so sad when I saw the destruction on tv. New Orleans was like a good friend. I've been there 5-6 times since 1999. Brian lived there for 3 months during a co-op with BP near New Orleans. Brian lived about 10 mins from downtown New Orleans. I flew there to visit him 2 times during the time he was there. That was my first time in New Orleans in the summer of 1999. I had just found out that we won the settlement for my sisters death. So I went there with a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. When I arrived , I found Brian waiting for me with a beer in his hand. You are allowed to have open containers in public. They even have a place for drive through daiquiris. Brian bought me to the French Quarter right away. There is just no way to describe it. It had it's own flavor, it's own beat of a drum. I LOVED IT! We spent our time together at Pat O'Brien's at a little table in the courtyard,right near the water fountain . This fountain had a flame coming out of the top. And at that table was one of the most memorable kisses in my life! He gave me the most amazing kiss that night!! I was so happy to be with him again. I was relaxed and with the person I loved! There aren't many memorable kisses in life. Usually you remember your first kiss with someone, but not other kisses in your life together. And with Brian, I have several memorable kisses. I remember our first kiss and I remember one of our kisses when he was living in Texas. I hadn't seen him for 3 months. He took me to a war ship that was right in Corpus Christi. The U.S.S Lexington. There is a break wall that runs along side the ship. And at night the ship is all lit up with these blue lights. It is amazing to see at night! So basically we walked out on the tiny break wall on the ocean that was black, next to this ship that was all lit up and he kissed me! I remember our kiss on the day we got married. I remember our first kiss after we broke up for a few months. And this kiss was at the table in New Orleans! It was incredible! It just seemed to intensify my love for him. We went shopping. We got drunk! We got his mom drunk! I went back to see him one more time. Mostly to help him move back to Ohio, but in case it was our last time there, I wanted to have a few more memories of our time there together! We drove home from New Orleans together that trip. It was a drive that I greatly cherished. We had the best conversations during the 16-18 hour drive. It made us closer!
I went to New Orleans again during a time when Brian and I were broken up. It made me sad because I had so many memories of him there. And I was wishing he was there with me. I went to see 311 on 3-11 day. (march 11th 2002) I went with my sister and her boyfriend. And it was just an amazing time! We met all these 311 fans that were there for the big concert. It was just one big celebration! I won money at the casino. We drank at my favorite bar in the world, Pat O'Briens. I got drunk and exposed myself in the streets. I went dancing in a club that had an amazing live band, that sounded great. They played the best dance music. I ate beniges at Cafe Du Monde. We ate a little corner restaurant that had amazing food and nice people. The owner and waitress sat and had a conversation with us. We saw an amazing 4 hour concert by one of my all time favorite bands 311. (Brian's favorite band too! And 311 loves New Orleans as much as I do!) My sister, Joe and I had the best time for the most part. (they fought at one point, but it was really fun despite that!)
Brian and I went back to New Orleans in 2004 together. We stayed at a beach house in Florida for 3 days and decided that since we were only a few hours away from New Orleans, that we had to go back! It was just a nice relaxing time. It is were we took the pic with Eddie Gabriel. I told Brian that if I ever get married, I wanted to have my bachelorette party there. And in May 2005, I did just that. I got to see New Orleans again. This time with 3 people (Linda, Mary K and Christina) who never had been there and my sister!
We had a great time! I was back at Pat OBrien's. The sad thing was was that I explained to my friends the fear of what a hurricane could do to the city if it were to strike there. I was telling them as we flew into New Orleans over Lake Ponchatrane. I explained all that I knew about Lake Ponchatrane and the levees, the pumps, the storm surge. But I felt that it would never happen in my life time. We just celebrated. And I showed them around the city I loved. I didn't get to take them to the famous grave sites like I wanted to. We did see them in Meterie as we drove by them in the taxi. I didn't take them on a swamp tour like I had wanted. We spent time in the quarter looking at the art galleries and antique shops. And there are so many to look through. We ate delicious food! Some of us even had our fortunes read by the fortune tellers in the Voodoo shop. We took pictures in Jackson Square. We ate beniges and watched street performers! We gambled and shopped! We met people! We partied! I've been to Vegas and I feel that that city is nothing like New Orleans!
I was so devistated to see what was feared by many, including myself, actually happen to this great city! I watched the Ellen show last week and she was there a few weeks ago. And it looks like nothing is being done! It breaks my heart! I hope that I will see New Orleans restored and made better in my life time. That city has given me great memories that will always live in my heart! It is a special place to me and Brian. It is a place we bonded and have amazing memories!
Thanks New Orleans! You are still in my heart and I hope to return soon!

Pics of the week

2006-06-04T07:13:00.001-07:00

So i have some pics that have been taken over the last few weeks while laid up at home. Some were taken at our football game which I sat out and just took pics. The others were at Brian's grandmothers birthday party. Then there are a few misc. ones. Ones of my little cousin Ryan and my pup pups