Being a mom

Brian and I were playing with the twins yesterday. It was nice little afternoon. Caden and Cole are getting so big so quickly. If they get any more cute, I'm going to have to quit my job and be home all the time. When I'm at work, I think about their cute faces all day. They are learning and changing so much everyday. I think it is so wonderful being a mom. Wish I would've done it even sooner! Cole is so smartand examine things carefully. Caden has such an adventurous spirit! They learn from each other and you can tell they love each other. THey laugh at each other, touch each other lovingly. They bully each other sometimes, just as all siblings do. It brings me a joy I could never have really understood before watching them grow. It makes me excited about our next child (or 2, who knows). I love having our family. I have a great husband and partner in Brian. He is a great dad! He cherishes the boys and being a father as much as I love being a mother. It's the best decision we ever made I think. I'm so thankful everyday to God for givng me those 2 wonderful gifts!

9/11

I'm watching a tv show on the History Channel called 102 Minutes That Changed America. It is video about the 102 minutes during 9/11 taken from regular cameras. People in their apartment. People on the street. News people in different parts of the city. Just the reaction of those people who witenessed it first hand and were able to capture it on tape. It is just amazing! It is bringing me back to that day when you could only imagine what New Yorkers were going through. You actually get to see it. I saw from one camera a fire truck going to the towers from Times Square. It made me wonder if any of those men died. It's like you are watching them go tho their deaths. It shows people jumping from the windows. You never really realize what a steady stream of jumpers their really were. I can only imagine how hot it was. If I had to choose, I may choose to jump instead of being burned alive. But what do you think about on your way down? Those 10 seconds, what flashes thorugh your head? Would I pray? Would I think about how I would never see my beautiful sons grow up? Would I pray to God to take me in his arms? I think about watching those planes go into the buildings. People who had loved ones on those planes, especially the second one, witnessed their loves one moment of death. I think about my sister. I was their when she died. But I never saw the actual cause of her death. But I play over in my head the moment that she died and the time I spent holding her hand. I couldn't imagine seeing my sisters accident or thinking that she burned alive. It kills me. I think of the heros that were lost. I'm seeing firefighters here and police about to go into the buildings and wonder if they had died. I wonder if this will be sold on DVD. I would like to own it. Only to show my kids and grandchildren some day. Amazing footage! I think that Pearl Harbor was like this for our Grandparents. But they never witnessed what really happened. Maybe they saw a few pictures and read about it in the newspaper. It never unfolded in front of their eyes unless they were actually there themselves. It was thousands of miles away. And most people didn't know for a day or two after it even happened. We had these tramatic pictures from the minute it started. Even security footage of the Pentagon crash! It's no wonder why so many people have anxiety now a days.
I won't forget 9/11 for as long as I live. I remember watching the 2nd plane crash into the 2nd building as I watched the 1st one smoking from the fire. I remember being in a nursing home for clinicals with my friend Cindy and my fellow nursing students watching it all. I remember how beautiful that day was because I thought to myself before I got to my clinicals, "What an amazingly beautiful day! Too bad I have to spend it here!" I saw a plane in the sky and wondered where those lucky people were going. I remembered seeing the second plane crash into the building and my heart inside screamed. We were send home because the school closed so we couldn't stay in clinicals. I went home and watched worried about my friend Ben who lived in NY at the time. I remember driving to be with Brian to watch the news that evening. There weren't any cars on the street really. Cleveland was a ghost town. I was so sad for the week to follow. Our hole country came to a halt! It was just such an experience. Brians cousins were suppose to be coming in from Ireland on the 12 or 13th I believe. They didn't come for over 2 weeks later. I would've never come if I were them considering what just happened.
I remember going to a 311 concert about 2 weeks later. I remember the lead singer talking a bit about 9-11. The whole crowd just started chanting U.S.A over and over for about 5 minutes. I started to cry a bit. That year for halloween I went as the statue of Liberty. I got a lot of compliments and people wanting to take their pic with me that year. It was touching how America bonded together. I don't think I eer felt more patriotic. I don't think anyone did. For once our country wasn't divided.
I'm going to go to bed now. I just wanted to let everyone that those who were lost and their families were in my prayers.

Sarah Palin- I just don't get it!

I don't understand the hype with Sarah Palin. If people really took at look at her, they would be horrified that she is the running mate of McCain. A man who could possibly not make it through 1 term of a Presidency due to his age and health.
Sure she is a great symbol of an American woman. Someone with a career and family. But the truth is is that I think the only people like her or are hyped about her is because she is a woman. If people really think about her experience instead of her being a woman, they would probably find a reason to panic if they are actually elected. I read an editorial in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The author made a great point. Being Govenor of Alaska is like being the Mayor of Columbus. The population of Alaska is 670,000. Population of Columbus 747,700 people. This author also said that being the mayor of Wasilla is like being a mayor to Ravenna, except that Ravenna has 1400 more people. What experience would she have to run a country of 305,986,357 people? Ohio State University has more graduate students than the city she was mayor of! She has only been Govenor for a year and half. I think she needs more experience. Plain and simple. The only reason people are excited is because she is a woman. If a man with her experience was up for a VP nod, I think everyone would rip them apart. They would think it is some sort of joke! I am so nervous at the idea if they were to win, we may be simply screwed! Way worse off than even with Bush! And I think he totally f-ed up this country!
Stop jocking the fact she is a woman and think if she was a man, how would you really feel about her experience?

Please Pray!

I've been keeping a close eye on the news about Hurricane Gustav. Not that I ever wish a hurricane on any city, but I pray that New Orleans does not take a direct hit. I read somewhere that only 20% of the levees are at a level that is satisfactory for another hurricane. There are still 80% left to re-enforce. New Orleans is a city that I love to visit. It has always been a special place for me and Brian. Please pray for all those in the hurricane's way, but mostly that New Orleans doesn't take a direct hit!
God bless you all!

The boys are getting so big so fast! They took their first bath together in the big tub yesterday. They were so funny! I can't believe they will a year old soon. This year has gone by too fast!

2 nightmares and my joy

I had a bad dream last night. Nothing that was gross or anything. I dreamt that Brian and I both had to go to work and couldn't find a baby sitter. But for some reason I still went to work with Cole in tow. Brian took Caden. I was trying to get completed by 11am and was going to see if my friend Tracy could take over the rest of my patients. But my patients were nightmares. They all had terrible issues that didn't have to do with their health! And one of my patients had a terrible black greasy mullet! I went to give my co-worker Tracy my patients, but she was in some meeting! Then I went to check on Cole and Caden were there. I was more stressed. My boss told me I could leave if I did something for her which required leaving the hosptial. I went out to my van and it was being towed. I talked to the towtruck guy and he said if I gave him $28.98 that he would leave my van. I told him I could get it if he waited a second, but he told me he couldn't wait and if I didn't have it, he was gone. So he left. I tried to get in a cab, but the cab driver threw out my purse and stuff. Some limo driver was laughing at me as I got kicked out of the car. I got so pissed I ran towards him and puunched him in the nuts as hard as I could. He stumbled into a bunch a bikes and one of his friends laughed at him. I called the guy a terrible name as a laid on the groung and kicked him, then left to go get Caden and Cole and to call Brian to come get us.
There were other things thtat made it bad, but that is the just of it. ! AUGH!

And to name another nightmare; the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is not going to come out now until July! WHat kind of crap is that? It was suppose to come out in November and I've been looking forward to it all year. Now I have to wait another year! WHat the hell!!!! All so they can make more money! Like they don't believe in what they made enough to begin with. Selfish bastasrds!
On a good note, the boys are becoming so much more adorable! I love those little guys and it make me sad at how fast they are growing. It's exciting to see them grow, but at the same time, it is going by too fast. I remember it like yesterday that I bought their little fragile bodies home from a month stay in the hosptials. I remember being a nervous wreck everynight that they would stop breathing and that is only because they did that a lot in the hospital when their monitors were on. I would have to give them a sternal rub to make them take a breath sometimes. I remember how holding them both in my arms was so easy because they were so tiny. Now holding them is a combined 40lbs extra! They don't like to take naps nearly as much as they use to. They are getting their own minds and very independant! They know what they want and now whine to get it. (like right now!) Gotta go, Caden wants out of his jumparoo to play on the ground.

OMG! It's here!!!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer is out! I'm so excited. It is just 1:40, but still gets me so excited. I feel like a little kid in a candy store!I have watched it a few times. Better than the piece of shit movie I'm watching now. (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe. This movie ruined the franchise! The first Lost Boys was much better! BTW, Keifer Sutherlands little bro is in the movie! So are Corey Haim and Feldman)
I'm so excited! I hope that the opening night keeps true. I'm going to want to see it. So I may have to request the next Saturday off of work. It will be so great to see this, but make me sad to realize there is only one movie left. (Actually 2 after that. They have to split up the last book into 2 movies.) I'm so glad I will be able to tell my kids all about Harry Potter and getting to experience it all when it first came out.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809791044/video/9048692

The Dark Knight

Brian, Linda, Liz and I went to see "The Dark Knight" last night. I was more than excited to see this film considering all the hype. And since I love movies, I couldn't wait! My review is that I loved it! It was great! I disagree with how some people have said that Christian Bale seemed like an extra in his own movie. That it was mostly about The Joker. This is not true! It was a deeper story than those of the Batman's made in the late 80's and through the 90's. Heath Ledger's performance was brilliant! I fully agree with that! He was amazing! THe thing about his performance compared to that of Jack Nicholson is that Heath made people truly believe it is possible for someone like him to exsist in this society and world today. It wasn't a comic book performance, but one of someone who is truly a mentally ill/ psychotic genius. He is dark and disturbed. Christian Bale was really good too. He made me believe in a real Batman. Everyone made it seem like a less comic book film. The only one thing I did not like about it is Twoface. I didn't by his story as well at the end. Maybe because I'm a nurse and know that there is no way that he could walk around with a burn like that and not have medical complications or be in such debilitating pain. But he was up walking around! Maybe it was just the make up or special effects to make his face the way it is.
When the movie ended, I felt a little teary-eyed. It was Heath Ledgers last completed film. I guess what made me more sad is that the way the movie ended, left the possiblity open for another movie with Heath and "the Joker". As I drove home I thought of the possibilites for another movie with him as the Joker. There was so much back story left open to show on the Joker. Granted I never read the comics, but I felt there could've been some history shown. It was established in the movie that he had no name, no record of prints before. It would've been great to see the backstory of him. Have Batman find out who he was, why he is like he is.

The boys are growing big and strong!

Here are the boys! Caden is about 20lbs now. Cole is just 18lbs. Caden is geting a reputation for getting into things he shouldn't. He is pretty independant and anything can entertain him. Cole who is getting over his little infection is becoming known for being a mama's boy! He is always wanting to be held and be cuddling! He also needs to be entertain. Caden is often trying to steal Cole's toy even though there are plenty of others around for him to play with. He always wants the one that Cole has. He can move really well and flip across the room like no one's business. He doesn't crawl yet, but gets to where he is going! I found him chewing on his swings electric cord and playing with all the DVR buttons. I yelled at him and said NO! He yelled right back then cried a bit of a pout! He loves to play and jump! He is the best jumper in the business. He loves to laugh! Cole likes to chew on things. He likes to look and exam things carefully. He has little circles on his mattress sheet that he stares at and tries to grab!:) He loves looking at people and examing their faces. He likes to touch everyone! He loves playing with his brother when his brother isn't taking his toys or grabbing his face too hard. He is great at sitting on his own. He is really getting his balance good! They get along really well. They have really started talking to each other and make each other laugh. THat is my all time favorite things to observe! They will look at each other and just talk and laugh, like they are the only 2 who understand each other!
The pictures above are from the last few weeks. See if you can guess who is who! One picture they took with their "Aunt LALA" Another with their cousin, Nikya and Ryan. And Cole is in a pic with his cousin Caitlin.
Tell me if you can guess who is who:)

1st fever

Cole is sick right now with an ear infection. My mom said he had a fever this morning, but didn't take it and just gave him Tylenol. I have a thermometer and told her if his temp is about 38.5 call me. He ended up being 38.9 (102) later that day after the Tylenol. So I told her to bring him to me at work. I left early and took him to the ER. By then is temp was 40 (104) . His entire body was flushed (it was all red in color). He looked miserable and cried a bit, but looked to ill to really even do that. They looked in his ears to see that his one ear drum had a lot of pus behind it. The docs said they were glad I bought him in because it has a lot of pus and could've burst his eardrum. (I'm glad too!) So now he has antibiotics and just doesn't want to be put down right now. I can't blame him. He was so precious and good for being sick. I'm so lucky! I just gave him tylenol and put him to bed. He was getting his fever back again by the time we got back from the ER. I'm glad I didn't listen to his dr. who told me that fevers are usually nothing. He may have had a blown eardrum by tomorrow if I had listen to him! My stepmom Cathy told me to always listen to a mothers instinct. Usually a mother's instinct is always right! Thank goodness I took that advice!!

SELL OUT!!

I saw this story on Newsnet 5. It is so funny! I could never do this because I'm a die hard Indians fan. They are my all time favorite all around team. (I love all Cleveland sports teams!)

Here is the news story:
CLEVELAND -- A Cleveland Indians fan is selling his loyalty to the highest bidder.

Alex Chatfield has been an Indians fan for years. However, the team is in the midst of a 10-game losing streak -- its longest in almost 30 years.

For $299, Chatfield is renting his enthusiasm for the remaining 2008 baseball season to anyone who feels an extra fan will put their team over the top.

He offers to watch the new team at least once a week, and wear that team's apparel, with e-mails and pictures to prove it. He is also offering what he calls premium services: Boston fans have to pay $3,500 extra and Yankees fans have to pay $10,000 more.

Chatfield also wants an additional $15,000 for any team that Jim Thome is playing for. He's still bitter about Thome leaving Cleveland.

Bucket List

I saw the movie "The Bucket List". When I told people this, they all said, "I heard it sucked." It was far from sucking! Maybe it wasn't quite the caliber movie you would think coming from Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. They are gods in the movie world. It was light hearted and moving. They did some amazing things on their Bucket list. I thought about my own. The "bucket list" is a list of things you want to do before you "kick the bucket." Well, Brian and I talked about it and we have done so much stuff from "our list" already. Probably more than a lot of people get to do in their lives.
I wanted to travel. And I have traveled! ANd Brian and I have more traveling we would like to do. In one year he and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, France and Italy for his Ironman and New Orleans for my 30th birthday. We went to Ireland together for almost a month. We were engaged in Toronto Canada. We went over half of the US I think.
I've had children and started a family like I wanted. I have a house I love! I have a great guy! Other than traveling and watching my children grow and see their milestones, I don't know what else to add to my bucket list. I've had such a hard life. After Missy passed,I felt like I should live my life to the fullest. I feel that with Brian I have been able to do that. With as many bad things that has happened in my life, I still feel that I can say I'm blessed. I have a great husband and children! I have good friends and family! I like my job, but I could always do something that I like even more. (I'm sure that everyone could) I have to admit that the best job I have is being a mom! I love my boys! They are the greatest! I guess part of me was afraid that I wouldn't take to being a parent as well. I have done so many things like I said and enjoyed them. I knew that things would be different. But I feel so much happiness and satisfaction at watching them grow and learn. Being a mom is just amazing! It beats anything else! I still love my other interests. Even though I've become a parent, I think it is important to stay the person you are and keep the things you love. But my kids will always come first.
Well, I"m off to bed! I have to get ready for the busy day I have with the boys tomorrow!

BUDDIES!!

Bummer

So for the last few weeks I was hoping to get our stimulous check from good ol' W and the govt. It hasn't come. I was going to see my friend get married in North Carolina, but as time went on, I couldn't save the money because of the increased cost of everything... gas which is costing us $160 if not more a week. Then formula... 30.99 per 38oz container. They boys go through about 2-3 containers a week!! It is just some f-ing powder! Why does it cost so much?!! If woman couldn't feed babies breast milk back in the day, what did they give them? (I'm guessing they got a wet nurse, but is it there was something other than powered formula? I couldn't afford the trip and I feel terrible. I wanted to be there. I fully planned on it.. Then I started to realize that I really needed the stiumlous check, but haven't gotten that. I held out till last minute hoping that check would come. I can't believe how f-ed up this country has gotten. I think in many ways, we let the terrorist win because their act, lead to the "wrong war" which has ended up costing the U.S. trillions! I truly believe that we are in a recession, but the govt won't tell us that. It would cause a panic and more people would stop spending. I am scared that it is going to get worse and we will end up in a depression. How is anyone suppose to live this way? I make pretty good money and I'm finding it hard to keep up. I can't imagine what it is like for those who don't have good jobs or who have lost their jobs. I can't believe how fast gas has rose as well. Some news reports say that the U.S. has been getting cheap gas longer than it should have and it is keeping up with the price of inflation. Well I don't think that is true, but because people's income hasn't gone up with the price of inflation.. and I think they needed to ease this gas increase.. Maybe 2.50 for awhile. That is at least do-able. Leave it around there for a few years.. Then increase it to $3 for awhile. THen to $4. It went from 1.99-2.10 from 9/2005 around my wedding, to 3.95 in 5/08. Just totatlly crazy!!!!
I am so tired of reading the news. It just is terrible. People losing their jobs, their house! It is just terrible. No wonder why I've had anxiety issues! Someone said that people are just one accident, or one illess away from losing their homes.
I so pray that a decmocrat is better than what we have had. Regardless of what Clinton did in his personal life, the U.S. had great growth during that time.. And f-ing Jr. had to ruin that to hell for everyone and put all of us in a terrible situation!
I'm going to bed.. I may have to turn off the airconditioning because I may not be able to afford the energy bill!!

New Kids on Today

The New Kids on the Block were on the Today show on Friday the 16th. I was a big fan back when I was younger. Seeing them together on stage again was great. My friend Destiny and I are hoping that they come to Cleveland so we can see them again. Nothing better than reminicing back to your youth with your favorite band from back them.



www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1K68EViOBI

The need...

I really need to get working out. I did some last week, but I need to make it a habit! I have 2 videos. One was good for me not having done anything realy physical for awhile, (other than lift babies and adults all day long) It was a good pace I guess you could say. Then the other video I have, "HOLY SHIT!" It was kicking my ass only 5 mins into it. It's called Turbo Jam. As I was doing it I thought to myself that there is no way that Brian could ever do this video. He has NO rhythm:) He isn't allowed to do it with me, because we have another one he tried with me before and I couldn't work out. I was too busy laughing at him. He is cute for the effort though.

We bought a new mini-van. Yup I took the soccer mom step! Crazy I know! But it works out great for us and the 2 babies! It is all black and PIMP! (At least as pimp as it can be for a mini van!I bought myself a new knee brace and joined a co-ed softball team this year. I need a bit of practice. I'm going to see if maybe this Thursday if I can get some time in after Brian is home to go up to the batting cages and practice a bit. I'm excited.

The boys are getting big, rolling over, eating great and weigh 16lbs now. They are doing great the doc said for being born early. It was my first Mother's Day today and I had to work! Lame I know. Brian bought the boys to see me for a bit. It was great! He also made me chocolate covered strawberries, cherries and grapes. It was delicious! He is a good "baker". He makes sweets better than me, but I think I "cook" better than him. We make a great team that way!

So the pics about are of Cole (skinnier face) Caden (round face) and both the boys doing some tummy time and playing under the activity center. They are looking and interacting with each other on purpose now:) Cole found out that he likes longs sleeves. When he needs to comfort himself, he will reach with his left hand, pull his sleeve over his right hand and just mouth on his sleeve. His arm goes way down in the sleeve. I thought he was a genius for figuring that out!

I'm excited. There are acutally 4 tours I want to go see, but so far only 2 I'm going to.. Ok actually 5... Dave Matthews I'm going to see, Coldplay I'm going to see. 311 I want to see, Maroon 5 and Counting Crows I want to see. And New Kids I'm going to see no matter what:) If that makes me a geek so be it. It will be great to think back to some great memories of me being a 13 year old girl!:)

I'll be going to Raleigh to see my friend Michelle get married in June. I'm excited to see her get married, but I'm more excited because I will be all by myself and have a hotel room all to myself. I will miss my husband and boys, but I will enjoy this time and get some much needed sleep:)

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Towpath Half Marathon

I have decided to "walk" the Towpath Half Marathon on Oct.12. That will be my 32nd birthday. I decided to try and raise money for the Make It Right Foundation. The Make It Right Foundation helps raise money to build houses in the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans. That area was the hardest hit by the floods that followed Hurricane Katrina.
If you would like to donate go to www.firstgiving.com/teresawhittaker
That will take you to a secure website to donate! Cole and Caden will be helping me in the my training this summer! Thanks so much everyone for your help!
Just to remind you, there are pictures of my last trip to New Orleans on October 2006 achrives. Heading would be under, "Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?" :)
That trip was my 30th b-day present from Brian! I love that city and that was maybe my 6th time in New Orelans in 8 years!:)
Feel free to come cheer me on then. I will need it. And keep your fingers crossed for a great morning that day!

buddies!!

Guess which one is which!

New Kids on the Block 1st pic together in 15 years

My prayers have been answered! The New Kids have released their 1st photo in the last 15 years. Could Donny be anymore hot? My husband is giving me a hard time about it. I think he loves seeing me re-live my life as a 10-13 year old girl! He is getting a kick out of it as much as I am. I just tell him I'm proud of liking the New Kids! Why deny the person I was? Besides, it got me to the point in being the person I am today!! You just aren't going to catch me at their concert wearing an airbrushed jean jacket. (Remember that Destiny?HAHA) I will be at any concert they perform at though!:)

Matt is the real father!

So Brian and Matt for awhile now have gone back and forth making funny pics of each other. Brian once turned our entire football team into a bunch of Matt's.

Matt decided to tell Brian the real news.. The our sons are really his....:) haha check out how much the boys look like Matt!