Pictures

I was looking at mine and Brian's wedding pictures. I thought that I should put up this very important pic that was taken at our wedding reception. Just so you know who was missed!

The first 2 name cards that have no picture by them are of Brian's uncle and his grandfather.
Then my grandmother, Delores. My sister, Missy. My grandfather Chester. And my friend Marcus. I just wanted to share that with you!

My first doctors visit.

I really don't have too much to talk about. Brian and I are at home right now. He is sick for the first time I think in all the time I have known him. And I"m not talking about the sick that he makes himself when he would get drunk. Like a real cold kind of thing. I have a cold still and wish this shit would go away. But how can it when I can't call off work. (nurse shortage and all!) We take care of the sick, but can't take care of ourselves! AUGH! :) We are waiting for pizza to arrive. Too tired and lazy to cook. Brian hasn't eaten or had anything to drink all day! Poor baby!!
Well, I went to the fertility doc. I have a few tests coming up. And they don't sound like they are fun. It's all about timing. The first test, "The Clomid Challenge Test" consists of... calling the doc the first day of my period. THen I will go into the docs on day 2 or 3 of my period for them to draw blood. Then I think day 5-9 I take clomid. A drug that is suppose to make me ovulate. Then I have to do back to the doctors to have blood drawn and maybe an ultrasound on day 10. It's to check if I ovualte. The second test, also requires me to call the doc the first day of my period. It is called an "HSG" test. And what it consists of basically between the time I"m done with my period and before I ovulate, I have to go to the docs and basically get dye pushed through my uterus while an x-ray takes multiple pictures of that area. They are trying to see if my tubes are blocked. But I was told that this test could cause cramping and some pain. So I'm suppose to take 4 pills of Ibuprofen or 2 extra strength tyelnol. It doesn't sound like fun.
The doctor , Dr. Arrendando, is amazing. He is so nice and just so positive and pleasant. Not to add that he is a marathon runner too! So he and Brian will have things to talk about. He is ready to help us have a baby and figure out how that is going to need to be done. Great guy and he moves things along quickly. Explains things well too. Brian feels this is private and he will probably be mad at me. But maybe as we go through this, it may help other people to see the challenges we face. Also it helps me and maybe it will help other couples who maybe scared, heartbroken, frustrated. It's so those people know they aren't alone. And maybe when we do have kids and they start to act like brats, I can just pull this up and show them what we had to go through to get them! :) Play the guilt card on them!:)
I had blood drawn the first day I was there. The woman drawing my blood finished and placed a 2x2 gauze on my arm and said, " Welcome to the "club"! " Not exactly the club I"m looking to be in! I was hoping more like, PTA, football mom, softball mom, baseball mom, basketball mom. Something more along those lines! Hopefully soon! I heard from a few places that woman seem to get pregnant right after they have the dye test. So we will see!

I figured it out!

So I finally decided what to get Brian. I got him a Modavo watch that was pretty expensive. I've been wanting to get him a little bling. And I think he is really scared to wear the watch. It's not that expensive, but it is expensive enough. I figured that he deserved it. Not just that. If we have kids soon, he and I won't be able to afford any bling for about 20 some years. So might as well indulge a little bit now, right? We went to our favorite pizza place, Danny Boys. They had a cheesy "Lady and the Tramp" spaghetti dinner. We got it. It was a huge plate of spaghetti with 2 meatballs and 2 salads and a dessert to share. It was super good as it always is. Then we came home and that is our business what happened after that:) Brian ordered my gift and it didn't arrive in time. SO I don't know what I got yet. Bummer! But he has already gotten me so many great things in the past. He thinks the watch is too much for Valentines Day. But it is our first Valentines Day as a married couple. And I will probably never be able to get him something like that again! .
My niece spent the night. We went to see Curious George. It was such a cute movie. They made George so flippin cute that I want him!:) She liked the movie and said she wants to see it again. She is also getting better acquainted with YODA. She is starting to like him. Considering she is 2 and Brian scared the shit out of her with a Yoda mask! We made more cookies today and she went potty like a big girl today. She is sleeping with all her bears and is so adorable. She wasn't bad one bit today.

I'm also a litte bit nervous. Brian doesn't really want me talking about this, but I figure if someone reads this and it helps them, then that is cool. This week I'm going to a fertility specialist basically. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. But other than that, I think my hormones are out of wack. It's taking us a little bit to get pregnant. Not that we have been trying that long. But my doctor feels that there is enough stuff going on to send me to a specialist. I'm nervous about all this. But I guess it will be alright. It will just be wierd I guess. But I want a little baby for us. Hopefully a girl for Nikya to play with. Someone she can kind of be a big sister to. We decided if we have a girl to name her Payton Melissa Whittaker. She will be named for my sister that died, but also for Walter Payton who was not only a great football player, but a great person. Yeah, I know it sounds wierd. But it's a cute name. I know Brian likes the name Tatum for a girl too. So if we had 2 girls, I thought our other daughter could be Tatum Noelle Whittaker. Noelle would be after my other sister, Christy Noelle. For a boy I like the names Braden and Noah. Brian seems to hate the name Noah. But I like it ALOT! So I'm trying to convince him that if we have a boy to name him Braden Noah Whittaker. (even though I would like my sons name to be Noah as a first name. ) But he doesn't seem to be goign for it even as a middle name. Though he does like the name Braden.

Valentines Day

So what do you get your husband on your first Valentines Day married? That is my dilemma right now. I have no idea. But he is on the ball and got something for me already and seems really proud of his choice. I feel pressure to get something good, but I"m not sure what to get. I have a few ideas. I don't want to get him something practical though. I want to get him something amazing and I'm blank. I've gotten him a watch before. He could always use a new one I guess. I got that watch about 7 years ago. It is pretty beat up. He also got himself an Ironman so I couldn't even get him that one. But he is going to do a triathelon when we are in France, so I know he needs a bike helmet. That isn't really romantic though. Unless you count it romantic because I don't want him to get hurt. He's by world! So I'm at a loss here. Usually I"m really good at stuff like this. We've been together 8 1/2 years, so this is our 9th Valentines day and I"m running out of ideas. ANd we still have at least another 50 years together! *sigh* I'll figure out something.

THIS BLOWS!!!

I'm sitting at home today. Suppose to be at work, but around noon yesterday I started having back pain. Not sure from what since I hadn't really done anything to strain my back. But it is my left side, mid upper back, close to my spine. I tried to sleep last night, but my back was hurting so bad. So around 3 am I was in tears. I would fall asleep for a sec, then when I went to turn I would wake up screaming. After while, it was just hurting no matter what I was doing. Sitting, lying standing. It was killing me. I have had problems with my right upper back before. So I know well enough what to do. I was icing it, took some ibeprofen, took a muscle relaxer I have ususally to keep my right side loose. I even took some left over Xanax I had from my wedding. ( I was at a point of having anxiety attacks during that time, not to mention being on a plane scares me anymore thanks to 9/11. We were flying to Hawaii and on the plane for 9 hours straight) Anyway, nothing was dulling the pain. So to the ER I went. The meds they gave me somewhat lowered the intensity, but it still hurt to move much at all. I'm sitting here at home and watching movies. This sucks. I wish I knew what I did. I then thought that maybe the way I have been cracking my neck pulled something. But in all honesty it feels like there is pain right were the trapeze muscles connects to the rest of my back. ( I don't think I spelled that muscle group correctly:) ) I"m dying though, just sitting and not being able to move. I try to stretch it out, but jeez does it ever hurt. I'm not happy at all. I have to go to work tomorrow no matter what. So I have to rest up real good today and hope that all I do will help.
It is just unbelievable to me. I'm really upset by it and it a great deal of pain.