Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Caden has been walking this week. My mom worked with him on Friday and now he is walking about 15 feet. He is wobbly, but it is so cute. Everytime he walked across the room, I would clap and say, "Yeaaaa!!!" And then Cole would mock me, do and say the same thing. It was too cute!! Caden was so proud. He would smile, turn himself around using the table and then make his way back to me. I can't believe how big they are getting. I'm trying to get them to talk, but still realize they are about 2 months behind. So it's already. I'm not stressing as much as I was before when I was a straight up loon. I can still be a little looney when it comes to them.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

My votes for Obama

I can't wait to vote later! I'll be voting for Barak Obama. I can't wati to see history unfold today.. I'm feeling kind of sad though. I wish that Obama's grandmother lived through the week to see what happened. I have good feelings for today and I feel that he will have a speical angel looking down on him.:)
Our thoughts and prayers are with them today for more than one reason!

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Twinfants are 1!

The boys birthday was Friday Oct 17th. We had a party with the entire family on Saturday. We cooked and cleaned and got our house ready! We were busy and stressed. But the day turned out great! The boys got dressed in their costumes. The other kids came in theirs and they were so incredibly cute!!! The boys got nice gifts and there is no way we can thank everyone enough for the great gifts. The boys are using them as I write.
It has been a crazy year. It seems like a whirlwind. I mean last year I was so worried hoping they would survive. They were intubated at this time last year needing the help to breath. This year when people see them they tell me, "Wow, they are big for 1 year olds!" They are tall I think, but a little on the skinny side. Their 12 month old pants still slide down of them. When they crawl, it is sooo funny seeing their pants end up around their ankles and their little diaper butt in the air. I remember how tiny they were in my arms. I could hold them both with no problems. Now it is so difficult when they are both whining and trying to climb on me to be held. (which I'll admit, as difficult as it is, I like it. It warms my heart!) I feel so blessed. Thanks everyone!
Here are so picture.

Monday, October 13, 2008

An old friend

This Myspace and Facebook is an amazing thing. A few years ago when I got on Myspace, I thought it was great. I still do think it is a good thing. I got a message on Myspace from a girl that I was friends with in 6th grade. Her name is Susie. After 6th grade she moved to Bristol, CT. I lost touch with her. She found me on Myspace. She works for ESPN. She is in town tonight for the Monday night Browns game. I got to see her for the first time since 6th grade. We caught up a bit. The 3 hours we were together last night went too fast and didn't seem long enough. I hope that maybe when we are in Boston we could get to see her. We will be going there quite often in our life so I'm sure there will be a time we can visit with her.
It was great catching up and reconnecting with someone who meant a lot fo me in my youth.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


So last night around 3:30 in the AM, I'm sound asleep. All of the sudden I hear very loudly, music playing from the Juno soundtrack. It is coming from the boys room. They have a radio and cd player in their room. We haven't played that CD in over a week. So I thought that maybe Brian heard them fussing and I didn't and turned on the CD. ( a little too loudly) He had fallen asleep watching a movie downstairs. So I go and see that he is sleeping and find that he never turned the radio on. The boys of course didn't because it is way too high even for me to reach. ANd they are too little to know how. I asked Brian if there was a remote that maybe the boys got a hold of in their crib and rolled on it. (They were sound asleep through all of it) . There isn't a remote. SO HOW THE HELL DID THE CD PLAYER COME ON BY ITSELF? My only theory is is that the last time we had it on, we may have pushed pause instead of turning it off. I'm thinking if it was on pause and not stopped that it might have finally come off of pause. Our DVR does that after maybe a half hour on pause. I was freaking out. Then I wondered if it was my friend Marcus who passed away. I was talking to Brian about how ithas already been 4 years now since he passed. He died shortly after we were engaged. I was telling him that in the boys room last night while we were getting the boys ready for bed. And we discussed the fact that the boys due date was Marcus's actual birthday. I think his spirit could've done it. He is someone that would think it is funny to scare me! And then I wondered if it was my sister. She would also think it is funny to scare me and maybe she wanted to peak in on her nephews and play them some soothing music. If it was any of them, I wish I could know. It freaks me out. Like I wonder, what if it was something evil? I don't think it would be. But maybe we need to get our house blessed. If anyone has any other options let me know.

Anyway, today is my birthday. My dad stopped by and bought me a cool present. Well, he didn't buy it, he made it. It is a wine rack. And an amazing one. I'll have to get a pic of it to show everyone. I think he should make and sell these. It is now hanging in my kitchen! It has 3 bottles of wine in it now! I think a lot of people are going to want one when they see it at the boys party next weekend. I can't wait for the party! It will be fun! Brian, of course got me the best present! The photo shoot of the boys!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Don't hate us because we're beautiful!

The boys will be 1 year old in 6 days! I'm so excited! I think about what I went through last year and where I was at this time. In the hospital, trying to keep our sons in my belly longer! They were like a medium rare at the time they were born. I was trying to get them to medium well at least, if not well done!:) They first tried to arrive to the world "rare", but I was able to "cook" them longer. (I think this is a good way to help describe it.)
I can't believe a year has gone by already. We went through so much and they have changed so much in one year. It's almost so easy to forget the beginning because they've changed so much. (Though I won't because the beginning was a rough one!)
They are little men now. So cute! They are getting their personalities. They know what they want.
For my birthday, Brian surprised me. He took the boys to get professional pics taken. He took me to go choose the ones I liked the best!
They were taken at Portraits Innovations.

Here they are!:)

Saturday, October 04, 2008


I just don't know what to say about the New Kids on the Block concert I attended last night. Basically it was amazing! I know all you haters are gonna talk crap because it is New Kids. For about 2 hours, I forgot about everything else in my life. Which would be the first time in almost 2 year. (while being pregnant and being a mom) I was with Destiny, Megan and Kerry. The minute they came out, I was instantly a 14 year old girl again. (I wish I still had that figure!) I wasn't a mom, I wasn't a wife, I wasn't a nurse. I was just a "girl" who was seeing her favorite band from her youth. (for the first time in 20 years I realized) They were so amazing and it felt like they hadn't been away for 15 years. It felt like it did the first time I seen them, but better. They were my first concert like many girls my age. I saw them at Blossom with my mom, my aunt, my sisters and cousin. It was wet. It rained the whole time. ANd we were so far in the back, we could barely make out the dots on stage. THis concert we were right next to the stage! We were probably 10-15 ft from anyone of them that came to our side of the stage. We were close enough to them to be able to tell that they all got better looking with age. I told my friends that the one thing I wish Brian would do better is dance. Seeing thesee 5 guys in their late 30's- early 40's dancing around like that made me wish that Brian would like to do that more. He hates dancing because he can't do it well. It was something that I loved to do and was pretty good at. I would go downtown a few nights a week just to go dancing. Not to drink or anything. I just wanted to dance. I would go for about 4 hours and just dance. That was basically my exersice. It's not really practical to do now the way I used to. I have to admit my feet are killing me. I haven't worn heels in a long time let alone dance in them. IT was more than worth it though. They started off with their new song "Single" which is my favorite song of the year. They ended it with Hangin Tough and sang a bunch of old favorites and new ones. I feel on a high right now. It was nice to be reminded of my youth.
Now I'm going to spend some time playing with my youths:) They are getting soo cute and starting to walk more this week with help.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Growing up

So it's 6am and I can't sleep. I've been up for about an hour now. I'm watching Behind the Music Live with New Kids on the Block that I DVR'd last night. It is showing them live from Boston, which is great because I will be seeing them this Friday. I'm looking to about where my seats are and I'm afraid I won't be able to see now.. We are 8 rows up from the side of the stage. I won't think they would pupt people where they can't see, but then again my sister and I paid the most for tickets ever to see Madonna in Detroit. We got there and found out we should've just got HBO for the year and it would've been cheaper than those shitty seats! We had to watch her from the screen because a black curtain blocked our view completely. We only saw about 1/10 of the stage. But then the Q is probably a bit different from the Garden and I think it will be fine.
In watching their history, it made me laugh. When I was a kid and in love with each one of them at a different time (Donnie and Jon were my favorites though, talk about totally different personalities) I remember having all these pre-teen romantic fantasies about them. Every girl has! Pre-teen girls have these crazy little idea in their head about what love is. And I know I can speak for me, but in my innocence, the most I dreamed of is being kissed by one of them. (especially Donnie or Jon) Now that I'm an adult (as many other fans are now) and with experience, you can look at them now and see things from a totally different view. I won't elaborate, but I know my married girlfriends can vouch for being able to fantasize about them in a whole different way, especially Donnie!:)(Not that I spend time doing that, but when I am watching them dance on stage I kind of can't help it) I just find it funny how in over 20 years as a fan, how my views have changed. I think as a pre-teen I spent all my time thinking of them. As an adult, I'm excited, but so many other things take up my time. Work, family. Now seeing them is a kind of vacation from my reality. (I love my life, but it is just a break from it) So then watching them makes me feel like a teenager again, but with adult views. How times change! I wonder who my kids are going to like. And I wonder if our next child is a little girl, who she is going to adore growing up.
I hear the babies stirring. I'm going to go!:)

Friday, September 26, 2008

1st hair cut for the buddies

our new look. Aren't we good lookin?



Caden getting his hair cut... both boys were soooo good

Aunt Christy cutting Coles hair

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Today was a great day.. It is our 3rd anniversary and also the 11th anniversary of when my sister passed away. We started our day out with a french toast breakfast. Then we went to the cemetery for a lunch and to spend time with "Missy". Perry Cemetery is really beautiful! Brian and I talked a bit about how someday we will be buried there next to my sister. Sad thought, but comforting knowing it will be a beautiful, peaceful place. Then we went over to Patterson where we met my sister Christy and my niece Nikya. We took pics in a pumpkin patch, went through a corn maze and picked apples. Afterward we went to Nikya's (and mine) favorite place, Olive Garden, for dinner. We returned home to take the boys for a walk in the cool cars that Grammy Dudich got for them. They love their cars and have such a blast!! It was a perfect day! And now I'm going to go to sleep next to my handsome husband of 3 years!:)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Being a mom

Brian and I were playing with the twins yesterday. It was nice little afternoon. Caden and Cole are getting so big so quickly. If they get any more cute, I'm going to have to quit my job and be home all the time. When I'm at work, I think about their cute faces all day. They are learning and changing so much everyday. I think it is so wonderful being a mom. Wish I would've done it even sooner! Cole is so smartand examine things carefully. Caden has such an adventurous spirit! They learn from each other and you can tell they love each other. THey laugh at each other, touch each other lovingly. They bully each other sometimes, just as all siblings do. It brings me a joy I could never have really understood before watching them grow. It makes me excited about our next child (or 2, who knows). I love having our family. I have a great husband and partner in Brian. He is a great dad! He cherishes the boys and being a father as much as I love being a mother. It's the best decision we ever made I think. I'm so thankful everyday to God for givng me those 2 wonderful gifts!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I'm watching a tv show on the History Channel called 102 Minutes That Changed America. It is video about the 102 minutes during 9/11 taken from regular cameras. People in their apartment. People on the street. News people in different parts of the city. Just the reaction of those people who witenessed it first hand and were able to capture it on tape. It is just amazing! It is bringing me back to that day when you could only imagine what New Yorkers were going through. You actually get to see it. I saw from one camera a fire truck going to the towers from Times Square. It made me wonder if any of those men died. It's like you are watching them go tho their deaths. It shows people jumping from the windows. You never really realize what a steady stream of jumpers their really were. I can only imagine how hot it was. If I had to choose, I may choose to jump instead of being burned alive. But what do you think about on your way down? Those 10 seconds, what flashes thorugh your head? Would I pray? Would I think about how I would never see my beautiful sons grow up? Would I pray to God to take me in his arms? I think about watching those planes go into the buildings. People who had loved ones on those planes, especially the second one, witnessed their loves one moment of death. I think about my sister. I was their when she died. But I never saw the actual cause of her death. But I play over in my head the moment that she died and the time I spent holding her hand. I couldn't imagine seeing my sisters accident or thinking that she burned alive. It kills me. I think of the heros that were lost. I'm seeing firefighters here and police about to go into the buildings and wonder if they had died. I wonder if this will be sold on DVD. I would like to own it. Only to show my kids and grandchildren some day. Amazing footage! I think that Pearl Harbor was like this for our Grandparents. But they never witnessed what really happened. Maybe they saw a few pictures and read about it in the newspaper. It never unfolded in front of their eyes unless they were actually there themselves. It was thousands of miles away. And most people didn't know for a day or two after it even happened. We had these tramatic pictures from the minute it started. Even security footage of the Pentagon crash! It's no wonder why so many people have anxiety now a days.
I won't forget 9/11 for as long as I live. I remember watching the 2nd plane crash into the 2nd building as I watched the 1st one smoking from the fire. I remember being in a nursing home for clinicals with my friend Cindy and my fellow nursing students watching it all. I remember how beautiful that day was because I thought to myself before I got to my clinicals, "What an amazingly beautiful day! Too bad I have to spend it here!" I saw a plane in the sky and wondered where those lucky people were going. I remembered seeing the second plane crash into the building and my heart inside screamed. We were send home because the school closed so we couldn't stay in clinicals. I went home and watched worried about my friend Ben who lived in NY at the time. I remember driving to be with Brian to watch the news that evening. There weren't any cars on the street really. Cleveland was a ghost town. I was so sad for the week to follow. Our hole country came to a halt! It was just such an experience. Brians cousins were suppose to be coming in from Ireland on the 12 or 13th I believe. They didn't come for over 2 weeks later. I would've never come if I were them considering what just happened.
I remember going to a 311 concert about 2 weeks later. I remember the lead singer talking a bit about 9-11. The whole crowd just started chanting U.S.A over and over for about 5 minutes. I started to cry a bit. That year for halloween I went as the statue of Liberty. I got a lot of compliments and people wanting to take their pic with me that year. It was touching how America bonded together. I don't think I eer felt more patriotic. I don't think anyone did. For once our country wasn't divided.
I'm going to go to bed now. I just wanted to let everyone that those who were lost and their families were in my prayers.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Sarah Palin- I just don't get it!

I don't understand the hype with Sarah Palin. If people really took at look at her, they would be horrified that she is the running mate of McCain. A man who could possibly not make it through 1 term of a Presidency due to his age and health.
Sure she is a great symbol of an American woman. Someone with a career and family. But the truth is is that I think the only people like her or are hyped about her is because she is a woman. If people really think about her experience instead of her being a woman, they would probably find a reason to panic if they are actually elected. I read an editorial in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The author made a great point. Being Govenor of Alaska is like being the Mayor of Columbus. The population of Alaska is 670,000. Population of Columbus 747,700 people. This author also said that being the mayor of Wasilla is like being a mayor to Ravenna, except that Ravenna has 1400 more people. What experience would she have to run a country of 305,986,357 people? Ohio State University has more graduate students than the city she was mayor of! She has only been Govenor for a year and half. I think she needs more experience. Plain and simple. The only reason people are excited is because she is a woman. If a man with her experience was up for a VP nod, I think everyone would rip them apart. They would think it is some sort of joke! I am so nervous at the idea if they were to win, we may be simply screwed! Way worse off than even with Bush! And I think he totally f-ed up this country!
Stop jocking the fact she is a woman and think if she was a man, how would you really feel about her experience?

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Please Pray!

I've been keeping a close eye on the news about Hurricane Gustav. Not that I ever wish a hurricane on any city, but I pray that New Orleans does not take a direct hit. I read somewhere that only 20% of the levees are at a level that is satisfactory for another hurricane. There are still 80% left to re-enforce. New Orleans is a city that I love to visit. It has always been a special place for me and Brian. Please pray for all those in the hurricane's way, but mostly that New Orleans doesn't take a direct hit!
God bless you all!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The boys are getting so big so fast! They took their first bath together in the big tub yesterday. They were so funny! I can't believe they will a year old soon. This year has gone by too fast!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

2 nightmares and my joy

I had a bad dream last night. Nothing that was gross or anything. I dreamt that Brian and I both had to go to work and couldn't find a baby sitter. But for some reason I still went to work with Cole in tow. Brian took Caden. I was trying to get completed by 11am and was going to see if my friend Tracy could take over the rest of my patients. But my patients were nightmares. They all had terrible issues that didn't have to do with their health! And one of my patients had a terrible black greasy mullet! I went to give my co-worker Tracy my patients, but she was in some meeting! Then I went to check on Cole and Caden were there. I was more stressed. My boss told me I could leave if I did something for her which required leaving the hosptial. I went out to my van and it was being towed. I talked to the towtruck guy and he said if I gave him $28.98 that he would leave my van. I told him I could get it if he waited a second, but he told me he couldn't wait and if I didn't have it, he was gone. So he left. I tried to get in a cab, but the cab driver threw out my purse and stuff. Some limo driver was laughing at me as I got kicked out of the car. I got so pissed I ran towards him and puunched him in the nuts as hard as I could. He stumbled into a bunch a bikes and one of his friends laughed at him. I called the guy a terrible name as a laid on the groung and kicked him, then left to go get Caden and Cole and to call Brian to come get us.
There were other things thtat made it bad, but that is the just of it. ! AUGH!

And to name another nightmare; the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is not going to come out now until July! WHat kind of crap is that? It was suppose to come out in November and I've been looking forward to it all year. Now I have to wait another year! WHat the hell!!!! All so they can make more money! Like they don't believe in what they made enough to begin with. Selfish bastasrds!
On a good note, the boys are becoming so much more adorable! I love those little guys and it make me sad at how fast they are growing. It's exciting to see them grow, but at the same time, it is going by too fast. I remember it like yesterday that I bought their little fragile bodies home from a month stay in the hosptials. I remember being a nervous wreck everynight that they would stop breathing and that is only because they did that a lot in the hospital when their monitors were on. I would have to give them a sternal rub to make them take a breath sometimes. I remember how holding them both in my arms was so easy because they were so tiny. Now holding them is a combined 40lbs extra! They don't like to take naps nearly as much as they use to. They are getting their own minds and very independant! They know what they want and now whine to get it. (like right now!) Gotta go, Caden wants out of his jumparoo to play on the ground.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

OMG! It's here!!!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer is out! I'm so excited. It is just 1:40, but still gets me so excited. I feel like a little kid in a candy store!I have watched it a few times. Better than the piece of shit movie I'm watching now. (Lost Boys 2: The Tribe. This movie ruined the franchise! The first Lost Boys was much better! BTW, Keifer Sutherlands little bro is in the movie! So are Corey Haim and Feldman)
I'm so excited! I hope that the opening night keeps true. I'm going to want to see it. So I may have to request the next Saturday off of work. It will be so great to see this, but make me sad to realize there is only one movie left. (Actually 2 after that. They have to split up the last book into 2 movies.) I'm so glad I will be able to tell my kids all about Harry Potter and getting to experience it all when it first came out.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Dark Knight

Brian, Linda, Liz and I went to see "The Dark Knight" last night. I was more than excited to see this film considering all the hype. And since I love movies, I couldn't wait! My review is that I loved it! It was great! I disagree with how some people have said that Christian Bale seemed like an extra in his own movie. That it was mostly about The Joker. This is not true! It was a deeper story than those of the Batman's made in the late 80's and through the 90's. Heath Ledger's performance was brilliant! I fully agree with that! He was amazing! THe thing about his performance compared to that of Jack Nicholson is that Heath made people truly believe it is possible for someone like him to exsist in this society and world today. It wasn't a comic book performance, but one of someone who is truly a mentally ill/ psychotic genius. He is dark and disturbed. Christian Bale was really good too. He made me believe in a real Batman. Everyone made it seem like a less comic book film. The only one thing I did not like about it is Twoface. I didn't by his story as well at the end. Maybe because I'm a nurse and know that there is no way that he could walk around with a burn like that and not have medical complications or be in such debilitating pain. But he was up walking around! Maybe it was just the make up or special effects to make his face the way it is.
When the movie ended, I felt a little teary-eyed. It was Heath Ledgers last completed film. I guess what made me more sad is that the way the movie ended, left the possiblity open for another movie with Heath and "the Joker". As I drove home I thought of the possibilites for another movie with him as the Joker. There was so much back story left open to show on the Joker. Granted I never read the comics, but I felt there could've been some history shown. It was established in the movie that he had no name, no record of prints before. It would've been great to see the backstory of him. Have Batman find out who he was, why he is like he is.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The boys are growing big and strong!

Here are the boys! Caden is about 20lbs now. Cole is just 18lbs. Caden is geting a reputation for getting into things he shouldn't. He is pretty independant and anything can entertain him. Cole who is getting over his little infection is becoming known for being a mama's boy! He is always wanting to be held and be cuddling! He also needs to be entertain. Caden is often trying to steal Cole's toy even though there are plenty of others around for him to play with. He always wants the one that Cole has. He can move really well and flip across the room like no one's business. He doesn't crawl yet, but gets to where he is going! I found him chewing on his swings electric cord and playing with all the DVR buttons. I yelled at him and said NO! He yelled right back then cried a bit of a pout! He loves to play and jump! He is the best jumper in the business. He loves to laugh! Cole likes to chew on things. He likes to look and exam things carefully. He has little circles on his mattress sheet that he stares at and tries to grab!:) He loves looking at people and examing their faces. He likes to touch everyone! He loves playing with his brother when his brother isn't taking his toys or grabbing his face too hard. He is great at sitting on his own. He is really getting his balance good! They get along really well. They have really started talking to each other and make each other laugh. THat is my all time favorite things to observe! They will look at each other and just talk and laugh, like they are the only 2 who understand each other!
The pictures above are from the last few weeks. See if you can guess who is who! One picture they took with their "Aunt LALA" Another with their cousin, Nikya and Ryan. And Cole is in a pic with his cousin Caitlin.
Tell me if you can guess who is who:)