My Grandfather

As I'm writing this.. I realize that I either have extreme highs in my life or extreme lows right now. For example, the extreme highs would be : our trip to France and Italy, Nicole and Jen's weddings, my niece's 3rd birthday, Brian's ironman and marathons. My extreme lows have been : trying to concieve a baby (though that can be mixed in high and low) and my patient A's condition change. Now I must add my Grandfather to that list. He has kidney cancer. And he decided in Dec 2004 that he would not recieve treatment for it. He told me he lived a full life, had a great wife, great children and great grandchildren. The doctors told him that he only had 3 months at that point. He said he believed he would die on his birthday. The 3 months went by and Grandpa did not die. Around his birthday I was a little nervous. But still he did not pass. He lived on through Christmas that we got to share with him. I got pictures of him and his great grandchildren, my 2 nieces Rachel and Nikya and my nephew Mikey. He has lived longer than the doctors expected. Almost a year and half longer so far. His birthday is coming up on August 5th. So his own prediction might come true. It shouldn't be too much longer now. ANd that brings great sadness to my heart. It brings realization and makes me sad that I don't get along with my father. I have tried. It is more his doing than mine. He is too proud! My father wouldn't go to my wedding because I was inviting black people to my wedding. (He's a racist bastard!)
Anyway, all this makes me sad because I love my grandfather and he is going to be gone soon. He was one of the only reasons this family still stayed together as long as it has. Now that he is gone, I think our whole family will be seperated. I stay close to my cousins Vince and Denise and my aunt Cindy. . We kind of have our own family unit together. I hope we keep that going. I am still close to my Aunt Connie and Uncle Roger. Maybe not super close, but you know what I mean. My Aunt Connie has been caring for my grandfather and is trying to hold our family together. She has worked really hard with the stubborn people in our lives.
Maybe after my grandfather dies, it will bring my own dad around, but I doubt it. My dad gets colder and more harsh as people leave his life. I sent him a father's day card. Nothing too mushy. But something that would let him know I was thinking of him. But I haven't heard from him. I sent one to my grandfather too. I think I'm going to leave for work early tomorrow and see him for a bit. I would like to spend a little more time with him before he goes.