Babies are trying to get out!

By now most of you know I'm pregnant with twin boys. It's not something I've talked about much on here. But I'm now on strict bedrest. Monday the 9/24 marked 10 years since my youngest sister died. It was also the day I had an ultrasound appointment. And it was also my 2 year anniversary! Anyway, I ended up being hospitalized because my cervix was shortened and I was in preterm labor. They admitted me to labor and delievery. That was scary enough because they were preparing in case the babies came out. I was only 29 and half weeks along at this point. They gave me magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions I was having. THAT IS THE WORST! I give it to my patients in low doses to replace electrolytes. They were giving me high doses and fast to stop the contractions. The bolus dose they gave me.. HOLY SHIT!!! I felt flushed.. my entire body was on fire. My mom was putting cold cloths on me and trying to keep me cool until the inital big dose was done. I felt lethargic. I think if I had ever really done some drugs it would've felt like the same thing. NOT A GOOD FEELING!!! After almost a full day on the drug, the contractions slowed and they took me off the magnesium and monitors and I went upstairs to rest for the next 2 days. I could only get up to go to the bathroom. Occassionally I would go out and walk to get water which they didn't want me to do. But it didn't seem too far and I wanted to stretch my legs. Now I'm at home on complete bedrest with babysitters! I'm not suppose to do anything but go to the bathroom. Not even cook or clean. (Finally:) Now I just have to try and find some more baby sitters for myself for the week!:)
I'm tired and going to go take a nap now! I have to rest and cook these guys just a little longer. They are already grounded when they come out for scarying me the way they did!
Sucks to start off life grounded right out of the womb! HAHAHA!

The night Missy died......

I have never told too many people this exact story of the few days when my sister died and he days that followed. People have heard it or knew bits and pieces of it. About a month ago I was telling my friend Linda the story of what it was like just at the hospital for me. I started to cry and felt like an idoit. I don't even know if I ever really even described it to Brian. I kind of got lost in the memory when talking to Linda. Then sitting here listening to "Sister" by The Nixons, I thought I should tell the story. SHe has been gone 10 years now and maybe it's time people know what it was like for me and my family really.
September 23rd, 1997
I came home for a few minutes that night right around 3 or 4 pm. I had been living with my boyfriend Will, but things between us weren't that great and I felt that I need to focus on my family and school since I wasn't doing either. That summer I found out I had a begnin brain tumor, but for awhile there we weren't sure if it was cancer. It turned out to not be cancer. But during this time, I thought of all the things I wanted to do and what was important and moved back home. Anyway, when I got home that afternoon, Missy was on the back porch smoking a cigarette and holding her new kitten FeeBee. Yeah she smoked just like my other sister and my parents knew. My mom didn't like it, but my dad said it was alright so how do you win when parents are against each other.
Anyway, I told Missy I was leaving. I was going to pick up my friend Nicole for her softball game and take her there. Part of the reason I really wanted to go to the game was to see my ex boyfriend Jim. I know I was with WIll, but part of me had always loved Jim. Never stopped really and I just wanted to see him. So I said good bye to Missy and told her I loved her and I would see her later. That night we got to the game, Jim was there, but he wouldn't say hi to me. ( I found out later why) I was hurt, but what could I really do. I was still with Will though I knew it was pretty close to being over. Nicole and I sat in my car after the game talking to 2 guys she knew. One of them started playing with the angel on my dashboard and I told them that Missy had gotten it for me a few days earlier. I thought of her and decided I needed to get home. It was probably around 8:45 then. I dropped Nicole off. When I got home I found this "craft" kitty. It was a potppori (spelling?) kitty that Missy had made. She gave it to Nicole the night before but Nicole forgot it. Missy told Nicole that that was the last "free" kitty she was going to give away. I took the kitty and inspected it some more. I already had one but these were the cutest thing. Missy was planning on teaching me how to make them later that week. We just needed to buy more stuff. SHe always made fun of me becaue I was craft handicapped. I thought about how nice the kitty was and how proud I was of Missy. I decided that when she got home that I would tell her just how proud of her I was. Right after I thought that, the phone rang. It was a nurse at the ER asking me for my mom. I told her she was at work and gave her the number. The nurse told me Missy had been in an accident. I thought for one minute that it was 10 pm and late and I wasn't going to go to the hospital. Missy was in an accident the year before and she was fine then. I thought she would be fine again. But for some reason I thought, "Nah, I'll go and support her. She is probably really upset." So I went and as I drove, I started to feel more panic inside. Like something was really wrong. Then I thought to myself I was being a drama queen!
You see Missy had been working at the local deli and afterwards left with her boyfriend Jimmy to go to his house. As he drove, he blacked out from too much insulin he had taken early. He didn't eat much to balance out the dose he gave himself. They hit a car head on. EMT's said Missy's body was leaned over towards the driver seat. SHe didn't have a seatbelt on, but they weren't sure if she had taken it off to get control of the car just before impact. There is too much that isn't known!
When I got to the ER my mom was at the counter crying with her friend from work, Rita. No one has really told her much at that point and they wouldn't let my mom see Missy. I started to freak myself inside. Not on the outside like my mom, but inside I was freaking out. A nurse took my mom and me to a private room with security. I thought to myself, "Shit, this is bad!" The nurse tried to explain what was going on. Really the doctor should've been doing that. But it was the nurse trying to. My mom and Iwere sitting as the nurse told us that my sisters neck was broken and that she had a lot of internal injuries and that she couldn't breath without a vent etc. I can't remember it all exactly. How easy it is to talk to someone in shock (me) and someone who was hysterical. I just knew what she was trying to get at. And I remember looking at my mom who was just screaming not hearing anything the nurse was saying anymore. My mom was doubled over. The nurse was trying to ask us if we wanted to keep her on life support or take her off because there wasn't much they could do and that she was basically dead. She had been without oxygen for about 20 minutes as EMT's tried to cut her out of the car. They got her heart working again, but because where her neck was broke, she could never breath on her own and she would never wake up. They were trying to ask us if we wanted her to be an organ donor. But all my mom could do was scream and I sat there in shock. We wanted to see her. So they took us to see her. As we crossed the hallway to see her, my dad was being let in. My mom's friend Rita and I were holding my mom up to walk as we crossed the hall when my dad saw us and I saw him. I had been crying. He took one look at my face and turned around and walked right out because I guess the look on my face said it all for him. He knew just by looking at me and seeing that my mom couldn't walk that it was really bad.
We got to the room with Missy in it. She had a neck brace on and breathing tube coming out of her mouth. Her clothes had been cut away. I asked the nurse for a priest right away. My mom couldn't go near her. She sat in a corner screaming as Rita tried to hold her. I sat next to Missy. Her hair had been braided on either side just like I last saw it on the back porch. There was blood coming from her ears, her nose, her mouth. Her lips were swollen where they had tied the tube in her mouth. She had blood in her hair and a gash on her chin. (Her chin hit the dashboard which was what broke her neck) She had a warming blanket on her because they couldn't keep her temp up.
My dad came back in the room and was weird. Zombie like almost saying things I can't remember, but just that they were weird. I told the nurse we wanted to donate her organs and had to explain to my mom that was the only choice right now. My mom didn't understand much of anything at this time. So I made her sign for it and I signed for everything else. I sat with my sister stroking her face and her hair talking to her, telling her how much we loved her as we waited for the priest to come. No one could get a hold of my sister Christy to tell her. We kept trying. I called Will, by now it was midnight or 11pm I think. I was screaming on the phone saying that she was dead. Finally I got the story out and Will met me at my parents. As I walked through the ER I saw Missy and Jim's friend Doug in a room through glass in the door. He was with 2 people I've never seen before. I walked in and addressed Doug. I told Doug what happened. The 2 people in the room started crying.. the woman was sobbing so hard and the man next to her was holding her. It was Jim's parents. I sat on Dougs lap as we cried together.

The Life Flight helicopter came and took Missy to Metro where they would take her organs. We went home and started to call people. But once we got home, Metro called and said they couldn't declare her dead. For a minute we had hope. But it turned out because they couldn't declare her brain dead, we had to go and sign more papers. It was now 12:30am. Will was there. My dad found my sister and her friend Teresa. We went to Metro together taking 3 seperate cars. Christy wanted to see her. As did I one more time. My parents signed the papers and they let us sit with her. They couldn't take all of her organs because she had been down and cold too long. They couldn't heat her body right. So they turned up the morphine and we sat with her as her heart rate slowed to zero. Up to that point I had been the cool smart one.When that number hit zero, I ran out of the room screaming into Will's arms. I couldn't take it. I couldn't do anything to protect my little sister. By then it was around 4:30am, Sept. 24th. . We left to take the hour drive home, but I couldn't sleep once I got there. 7am is when Perry started high school then. I thought I should go to the school and talk to the office in person. On the way to the school I drove past Missy's oldest friends house, Tiffany. I saw her mom Holly out front and decided to stop. Holly seemed surprise to see me. I was alone. I got out of the car and I think she knew something was wrong. I told her Missy had died a few hours earlier and that I was going to the school to talk to the office. They had Tiffany come out and we told her. She started to scream not believing it. Holly decided to go with me to the school to talk to the principal. She was upset. They had lived down the street from us all our lives and knew Missy and us well.
I talked to Mr. Sater the Vice Principal when I got there and told him what happened. Tiffany went too and found her friends right away and told them all. While I was in his office, kids, started pouring into the office area, crying and screaming. They wanted to go home, they were calling their parents. Some of them wanted to be by me. Many of her classmates saw me there and I held them and comforted them. It was helping me a bit too. I left a little while later to get home to find already 20 some kids at our house. We were tired, but we didn't mind the company at all. We started getting phone calls to our house. Newspaper and a newscrew came by. My sister-in-law was there. I had forget that we never called my brother that night. My dad told him that morning while I was gone and my brother took off. No one knew where he was. He later told us he went to a park and cried and smoked a joint. We were getting a lot of calls. One of them was Jim, my ex, calling to apologize for how he behaved towards me the night before and to explain why. I told him Missy died and that I forgave him. He was so quiet. He called back a few mintues later wanting to know what he could do and when services were.
My mom's friend Philomena came over with Ativan from the doctor for my mom. She wanted us to take it that night, but I couldn't. I had to keep going. We went to the funeral home and made arrangements. My mom's friends bought the cemetery plot. I picked out her clothes that she would wear.
The thing about the accident was that Missy was with her boyfriend. He had (has) diabetes. He blacked out behind the wheel. He was still at the hosptial. Me and Christy decided to go up to the hospital because we knew that someone would tell him. We needed to see him, to know what happened. Christy and I got there with Will. We walked in the room and Jim was crying. His dad was in there crying too. They had just told him a little before we got there that Missy died. So we sat on his bed and the 3 of us held each other and cried. It has been hard on us and was hard on us, but I honestly couldn't imagine being in his shoes knowing his actions lead to someone dying even if it was an accident. We know he didn't do it on purpose. . How hard it must be for him! We didn't want him to feel abandoned. One could never imagine the pain he must feel. Our pain is great, but he has guilt on top of it.
The next day it was in the paper with her picture. It was on the news later that night. Missy's Jimmy was let go from the hosptial and stayed with us that evening to watch the news report. Nicole, Chad and Brian were there. I was surprised that Brian was there. We really weren't' friends. I think he was there more for Nicole and Chad's support as they tried to support me. My mom looked horrible in the interview on the news and of course they took things out of text as they always do. My grandmother arrived to make it more difficult. She was focused on all these dumb things and I ended up going off on her on many occassions that week. Again I stayed up and tried to put together things for the funeral. My mom wasn't functioning at all. So for the 2nd night in a row I didn't sleep. Around midnight a knock came at the door and my friend Tom came and sat with me a bit while I went through pictures to use for her funeral. The next day seemed like work as flowers and food and well wishers came by. Again we didn't mind this. It helped that we were feeling an overflow of love during this time. I spent a lot of time trying to run around to get everything. I realized that it had to be the most beautiful several days. ANd every year since it has been beautiful. That is why brian and I got married that same day she died 8 years later. Not to just honor her, but because we knew it would be beautiful.
We got to the funeral home for calling hours around 1pm. We wanted an hour with her before others came. When we saw her, she looked so bad that I didn't want my mom to see, but she did. We decided that we had to close her casket so her friends wouldn't see. It just didn’t look like her. Jim, my ex, arrived to be there for me. He held me in his arms for quite a while. With Will looking on I didn't care, I whispered to Jim that I still loved him and I need him to know that incase I never got to tell him again. The tumor scare I had and losing Missy made me realize how important it is to tells those we love how we feel. I had been wanting to tell him for almost 2 years and I didn't. He told me he still loved me. He stayed around as much as he could for me. I knew it was over for me and Will, but I couldn't stand breaking up with someone quite yet. I even thought it would make our relationship stronger. But it didn't! It fell apart. Will was in pain remembering his mother dying. I thought he would understand me better than anyone, but he didn't. He has always suppressed his feelings. I think he thought I should do the same. Jim, I think tried to help me by distracting me a bit. He and Missy had a hard history that only a few weeks before she died she told me that she really had liked him. She always thought that he was too arrogant! He did act that way at times, but to people he didnt know. He has a huge heart of gold once you get to know him! He is an amazing guy! I got so confused at this time because as much as I cared for Will, I still loved Jim. And to add to the confusion, Brian came into my life, being this really great friend and support I needed. Within a 2 weeks period I left Will because Jim had kissed me one night. I stopped him only because I didn't want to cheat on Will and have Jim think that I would do the same to him. I think Jim misunderstood why I stopped him because he left quickly after that. I broke up with Will that night in hopes that that kiss meant Jim wanted me back. But Jim never called. And I'm not sure why I never called him. My sister and at this point,grandmother just died. I was so confused with everything. I didn't hear from Jim for 2 weeks and during that time Brian showed his interest in me. Brian was being so incredible by helping me keep up in school and seeing that we all were doing things together to get me by this. It was easy to have feelings for him more than a friend. Even if I still wanted Jim. I ended up with Brian. I thought that Jim wasn't ready for all that I wanted to share with him yet anyway. I thought we were still too young and he probably still wasn't ready to settle down with me for the rest of my life, which is what I wanted with him. Jim was an amazing guy to me. Not my first boyfriend, but the first person I ever really loved and who taught me what love really was. I never thought that Brian and I would last so long. I did think at some point I would still end up with Jim, but Brian and I ended up with this incredible bond that has only gotten stronger over time. Which is why I ended up marrying him. He was my best friend. He is my best friend! ANd I adore him so much. As much as I had loved Jim, I think I ended up with the person that was best for me.
I felt after time that this was God's way of maybe making up for taking my sister, by not giving me what I had wanted, but giving me the person I would need in my life. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to get married on the anniversary of when Missy died. I felt that Brian was a gift to me to help me deal with her loss. I've gotten so much happiness and have lived so much life with him. He helped me do the things I have wanted to accomplish before I die myself.

Anyway, the funeral home was packed full of people. It meant so much to us. During the evening I took a break and went outside. I saw Missy's friend Mike, sitting on the ground in the parking lot crying. I sat on the ground with him and held him and craddled him, rocking him back and forth. He had a hard time with Missy dying. He had a hard time with other things in his life and 6 months after Missy died, he killed himself. He was a really sweet kid. Missy had touched so many people, and it meant so much to see that love she gave being shown back to us through the community.
The day of her funeral was so beautiful. The most beautiful warm day ever I think. At the church I gave a euology. It was hard, but I focused on her casket and my love for her. I saw Jim sitting with Robert, my mom's boyfriend and I pulled strength from seeing him there. I loved my sister and this was my last way to show it to her and the world. I planned the whole ceremony. 2 of Missy's friends read a poem at her funeral. It was hard knowing that soon, this was the end of it all.
We left the church to go to the cemetery and the Perry Police Department lead the way for us. THey all knew her. She worked in the local deli. They all knew us as well. It was a touching processional. As my sisters friends placed flowers on her coffin to say good bye, I stood and watched. I couldn't cry anymore. Jim was standing next to me. Then right in front of me, the funeral director walked in front of me and tripped over the corner of the railing that was holding my sister's casket. I started to giggle because I felt like that was her way of saying goodbye. Something to make eveyone laugh. Which is always what she loved to do, make people laugh. Her friends looked at me I think to lead, because they were shocked, then they saw me laughing and they knew it was alright to giggle too! I started to cry while laughing, but it was something I needed.
That wasn't it though. That night, me, Dana, Alessa, Will, Jim, Christy and her boyfriend at the time (I don't even know that guys name) went to Friday's. Then at 11pm we all went up to the cemetery. Missy's funeral was the day of Perry's homecoming. Her friends didn't want her to spend the first night in the cemetery alone, so after the dance, I would say a good 100 kids went to the cemetery. So did me and everyone who went to eat with us at Friday's. It meant so much to see how her friends loved it and it touched us that they didn't want her to be alone that night, buried in the ground. Jim, tried to cast his head lights over te grave by turning his car to face it and accidentally ran over top of a grave! There was no damage to it, his car was just over it. But it made me laugh. Missy's boyfriend Jimmy was there too with his friends and his brothers and sisters. Over the next few weeks, people were stopping over and checking on us.
I had a good support with Will, but not what I really needed. I had Nicole, Chad, Dana, Jim and Brian and other good friends. My family tried to support Missy's boyfriend Jim the best we could. But the lawsuit got in the way of that relationship. I wish it didn't have to. You know it is hard to get over the loss of someone you love no matter how much time goes by or how well you deal with it. The pain never goes away and some people can be insensitive and just not understand that. People have said, "Why don't you just get over it? It was a long time ago! " Tell me how would they or even you feel if someone was ripped from your life without warning. You don't really get to say good bye or say all the things you wanted to say to them. I was lucky because I did get to tell Missy what she meant to me the night before the accident when we were standing in the kitchen wtih my friend Nicole. Nicole I know remembers the conversation. What if you don't get to say those things? What if your last images of someone is how I described Missy laying in the hospital room? What if it was like my brother's last images of someone lying in a coffin that doesn't even look like your sister? It's a pain no one can describe unless you go through it yourself. It's sad to think other people have gone through what I have.
I feel her with me at times. But that isn't enough. I miss her so much! I know I'm suppose to take comfort in the idea that she is watching over me, but that doesn't always help. I want her here! Selfish I know. God wants her with him. How unfair to me though. I just wish I could've gotten more time with her. She was my best friend , not just my sister. I love you missy!

Frank's party

Brian, Scott, Tony, Amber and I had a party for our friend Frank. He is leaving for Arizona and we will miss him a lot. I stole some pics from him because I didn't take my own like a loser:)

HARRY POTTER! The wait is over!!

Now that Daniel Radcliffe is of age, I don't feel like such a perv thinking he is hot! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out finally! This is only book 5 so I have 2 more movies to go! I thought it was a really great movie! But being the Harry Potter fan that I am, I feel that they left out some very impotant things and switched the story line a bit. YOu have to read the book or I feel you are missing something in the movie. Since I read the book, I knew what I was missing, but still very much enjoyed seeing it up on the screen, the things I've seen in my head! It was darker, more grown up and great! I think these movie peeps need to realize that as much as Harry Potter fans that we are, we will sit through a 3 hour movie. There is nothing wrong with making the movies longer!!!! Think of that for the last 2 movies please!!

Now to the release of Deathly Hallows. That book off the bat had me crying. It was amazing! It took a bit to get comfortable with how different the story was going to be from the other 6 books. J.K. had a pattern in the other books. Start off with the Dursley's and end up at Hogwarts. If you don't want me to ruin some of it for you, stop reading now otherwise continue!:) They don't return to Hogwarts and go off on the adventure that Dumbledore gave Harry. So the book had them on the run from Voldemort and the Death Eaters. It was really great writing.. Very much more adult than before. It alsmot seems like more "time" has passed from book 6 to book 7 with the situations they have to deal with.. Harry had always been really gutsy, but this book he seems to be full of BALLS! And Neville truely found more courage and he was incredible in the few pages he was in. It's just so sad who has to die in the book. It isn't just 2 people... it's quite a few which is why I was crying so much as I was reading it. I won't tell you who died, but it really bought out a lot of emotion of what these terrible times bought to Harry's world. I felt deeply for Harry's pain, but he kept having to move on to get his job done. I suggest if you want to get into Harry Potter, read all the books first, then watch the films. The 6th film won't come out till the end of next year, which is extremely annoying to me! But what can I do!

I can't wait for my 2 boys to be born so I can get them into Harry Potter too!:)

How boring am I lately?

I haven't written on my blog in some time. I guess that is what happens when you are tired all the time.:) We moved into our new house! I love it, but even after almost 2 months, we still aren't unpacked. I'm not sure if it is pure laziness, or we are just too busy with other stuff. In Brian's case, he is busy with other stuff. In my case, I'm so tired anymore that I when I get home from work, I just want to put my feet up and veg! I guess carrying 2 babies is a lot of work! :) In the last 2 weeks, my stomach has really popped out. I look pregnant alright. My asthma doctor told me that I look 6 months pregnant. I'm only 16 weeks. Then Shelly, my boss, reminds me that "You are carrying TWO!" I watched this program last night. I'm not sure what channel it was on, but it was called, "In the Womb- Mulitples" So it talked about how multiples develop. It goes through what they go through from conception all the way to birth. It shows how around 16 weeks the twins (triplets or quads) become aware of each other as they fight for space! It was so cool to watch! Hopefully July 13th I'll find out the sex of both. I just hope they aren't too shy to show us. Yes I hope for one of each, but I'll take whatever I get. Brian feels if we can't have one of each then he wants 2 girls first! I think he will treat them like little princesses! My mom's boyfriend hopes for 2 boys. He said he's had enough estrogen with my sisters, my mom, me and Nikya to last forever:) He said we need some testosterone in our family! I'll be happy with whatever I get!
Well, I'm going to try and be productive today. I think I may go to the grocery store! How exciting! (not really!) There is one thing I'm happy about! Our air conditioning is finally working! Well, I've got to go get ready! YEah I know it is 2:30pm on a Thrusday! I've had a lazy day today! I deserve it!

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

I saw on Yahoo.com today that they finally have the full 2 minute trailer of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! The teaser trailer did nothing for me. I was so excited that for the last half hour I've watched it over and over! Yeah, that makes me a bit of a geek, but who cares!! I love the Harry Potter movies and books! It comes out on July 13th! I can't wait that long!! Another 2 months and 2 weeks! AUGH! You should go watch the trailer though.

In other news.. Brian and I close on our house this weekend and get to move in! I"m so excited to be getting out of this apartment living next to the SHIT queen and all!! (This lady does not pick up her 2 dogs crap and there about 80 piles out in front... even on her sidewalk, on the publid driveway, I've already complained 2 times which will just get me into another rant!)
Anyway, tomorrow we do the new owners walk through!!
Brian and I are going on a date tonight!! Dinner and a movie!! Hopefully I can catch the new Harry Potter trailer again!!!

Smoosh's 5th birthday!:)

Smoosh turned 5 in March! What a cute little guy!! Kootie is seen here looking out the window waiting for Daddy to get home!

Coming along! Our house!

Our house is coming along! Only about 2 more weeks and we get to move in!! YEAH!!!!

OPENING DAY 2007!!

It was a really cold and snowy opening day for the Indians this year! The game was delayed due to white out conditions. Once it did start it was delayed 2 more times in the middle of play because one couldn't just see. We finally made it to the 4th inning after almost 2 hours. We were one stike away from getting the 3rd out and Mike Hargrove comes out complaining that his batter can't see and they called the game! It would've been an offical game it one more strike was thrown!! AUGH!! I felt ripped off a bit! I lost feeling in my toes and hands because a baseball player that I can see batting way out in outfield, who makes millions of dollars can't see the ball! I could see it and it wasn't being pitched to me!! At least I got to see Grady!! I think pretty much the whole opening weekend is going to be cancelled!! A lot of snow this weekend and really cold!!!! During one of the delays this guy runs out onto the field. He's being chased by the cops. He quickly lays down and makes a snow angel in outfield gets back up and tries to run some more. He is caught and arrested. Though I don't suggest anyone being stupid and doing this.. it did make the money I spent worth it just to see that idoit do that!!!!

Here are some fun pics!!

KIMBLEN- we'll miss you!

I worked with Kimblen for the last 5-6 years at the hospital. A few weeks ago while at work she became short of breath and was sent to the ER and then admitted with pneumonia. After that I have bits and pieces of the story. Kim went home and then ended up being re-admitted.. that night she ended up in the ICU with difficulty breathing. She died last night in the unit. She was a funny woman who you were either cool with or you weren't. And she would let you know if you weren't. That is why she cracked me up all the time:) She was fun to work with. I got the news this morning talking to a co-worker on the phone. I was surprised and at the same time, I think I preparing for it because from things we were hearing, it didn't sound like the outcome would be good.
She will be missed greatly and all of my prayers go with her family!
I'll see if I can find a picture of her and possibly post it soon!!

OUR HOUSE!!

I just wanted to update you on our house!! It's getting there.. Should be done in the next 6 weeks! OH I can't wait! I hate this apartment! It's tiny and not to mention my neighbor doesn't pick up her dog shit! There is about 80 piles out there. I'm not even exaggerating!! It's crazy!! Ask brian!! She's a pig! Honestly!!

Anyway, back to our house! I drove by it on my way home! (I've had a tummy virus for the last few days so i came home to do some office work at home) Anyway, the builders have the brick on front of the house and another team looked like it was putting up the garage door! It is really coming together. I'm so far happy with our builders Ryan Home! I'll keep you updated on their work!:)

Here are some pics! Not of today, but of the last 2 weeks!

My niece and nephew

This past weekend I had my niece and nephew over. (as well as my brother and sister-in-law) Mikey and Rachel had fun playing! They are the cutest! They were entertained at the idea that on cold nights I wrap Kootie and Smoosh up in a blanket! Mikey wanted to be wrapped up like the dogs and well... Rachel does whatever Mikey does!

Andrea Parhamovich

I found out today that a girl I considered a friend in high school died in Iraq. I was at work and picked up a newspaper. I saw Andrea's name and picture and it didn't register right away with me. I think I was in disbelief and shock at what I just read in the headline. No one expects to lift up the paper and see someone they know on the front page, let alone the fact that they were killed in a road side attack. As I said, I went to Pery High School with Andi and was very saddened to hear the news of her passing. I haven't talked to Andi in so long. I remember she was a great girl that always made me laugh. She was "spunky". She was small girl who was really sweet, but if she had to she could kick your ass! :) I remember playing softball with her my sophomore year in high school, she was a freshman. (I had to quit due to terrible tendonitis) I remember how every time we would play, Andi would have a french braid in her hair. I don't know why I always remember her with her hair pulled back like that. I just do. That was the immediate picture that came to my mind when after I read the article. The picture was her with a french braid in her softball uniform. I guess you always keep a picture of people in your life somewhere in your mind and this is how I remembered her. She would always tell me about her family. She loved them very much. SHe would often talk of her little brothers. She loved them a lot.
My heart goes out to her family. I know all too well what sudden loss feels like. It isn't easy, but I know they have a strong, good family that will remember her with love. The world needed more people like Andi, not less! It is a very sad day for our community in Perry. The old song says, "Only the good die young!" I've learned in my life time that this is so true and Andi was no exception. I'm not sure why it has to be that way or seem that way. She was a great girl. Andi, you will be missed and our prayers are with you and your family! I know a lot of people loved her. She touched my life with her spirit as I know she did with everyone else.
I was already upset by the war. After knowing that someone I know and admired has been killed because of it, it gives you a whole new level of frustration with it. I know in my heart that Andi because of who she was, was trying to make the best of a war that has been so tragic. She wanted something positive to come of all of this. That is just who she was. I'm not suprised by anything she has done in her life. She was someone to admire who had a warm spirit, a love of laughter and things positive in the world. I will always remember her as the lovable, spunky girl with the french braid in her hair, who loved life and everyone's life was better with her in it.

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Article taken from The News Heald

The family of Andrea Parhamovich, a Perry Township native killed in Iraq Wednesday, expressed overwhelming grief and deep sadness at their loss and asked for patience from the public as they deal with her death.National and international attention has focused on Parhamovich, 28, and her family, friends, fiance and employer since her death. She died alongside three bodyguards of Croatian, Hungarian and Iraqi nationality, in an ambush attack by an al-Qaida linked coalition of Sunni insurgents in Yarmouk, reportedly an increasingly violent neighborhood in western Baghdad.Her brother-in-law Joe Zampini read from a prepared statement Friday at his brother's business, Lake County Nursery in Perry Township. Her parents and brothers did not attend the news conference, but her sister Marci Zampini watched unobtrusively as television news crews, reporters and photographers focused on Joe."We wish to briefly share how wonderful and special a person Andi was," he said. "Andi was a confident, motivated, intelligent and loving young woman. She was a wonderful daughter, cherished sister, loving aunt and devoted friend who also put those around her first. "She embraced challenges which allowed her to achieve so much in a relatively short period of time. Andi always sought out great experiences that also allowed her to make a difference. It was that commitment to making a difference which led her to Iraq."Zampini and David Rolfes, an associate of Parhamovich's with National Democratic Institute of Washington, D.C., declined to respond to most media inquiries, saying family members had no real information to add to the statement and weren't likely to address the public again until sometime next week.Various reports about Parhamovich's life and tragic death were published Friday in papers across the nation. Zampini said Parhamovich was engaged to Newsweek reporter Michael Hastings, who worked at the publication's Baghdad bureau, and they planned to make arrangements sometime this winter to be married. Hastings will accompany Parhamovich's body back to the United States when arrangements can be made through the U.S. military for her transport home from Baghdad.Although the couple rarely had the time or freedom to get together while in Baghdad, they were planning to spend Valentine's Day together in Paris, according to various reports.Hastings was planning to ask her to marry him at that time, he told the New York Times. He characterized Parhamovich as tough and brave, yet lovable and charming. She had dreams of working on a presidential campaign and possibly running for Congress."She didn't agree with the war, but she felt that now that we're here, she wanted to do what she could to help the Iraqis. She wasn't afraid of taking risks," Hastings told the Associated Press.Zampini said Andi never spoke with family members of the details of the environment in which she worked while in Iraq. "She was really strong. I think she shielded us from that," he said."Andi's desire to help strangers in such a dangerous environment thousands of miles away might be difficult for others to understand, but to us, it epitomized Andi's natural curiosity and unwavering commitment. She was passionate, bold and caring, as exemplified by her work to improve the lives of all Iraqis.""We also want to extend our own heartfelt condolences to the families of those who gave their lives while protecting Andi. They, too, are in our thoughts and prayers," Zampini said.U.S. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad condemned the attack. "The young American who was killed in this attack, along with her security team, exemplified a commitment by all those who have never wavered in their resolve to build a stable, united and democratic Iraq," he said in a statement.Parhamovich was a program officer with the National Democratic Institute, providing training programs in democracy to the emerging government. She was not a member of the military.A statement posted on an Islamic Web site Thursday claimed the attack destroyed two sport-utility vehicles of the Zionist Mossad and a third was severely damaged. It was signed by a spokesman of the "Islamic state in Iraq," the so-called Islamic government claimed last year by al-Qaida and other Sunni Arab-linked groups. Mossad is the name given by al-Qaida to foreigners of unknown nationality and refers to the Israeli spy agency, wrote Maamoun Youssef, Associated Press writer in Cairo.Al Franken, who worked with Parhamovich at the liberal radio company Air America for about 18 months, said he's devastated by her death."She was a thoroughly charming intelligent, funny, idealistic, dedicated young woman," he said. "It was just great being in her presence because you felt like you were in the presence of a really good person, a real American. She was lovely in every way, just beautiful."Franken said Parhamovich was not the kind of person to criticize without doing something to help fix it."She was against the war but nevertheless saw that what Iraq needs is the growth of democratic institutions," he said.Matthew Hiltzik, president of Freud Communications Inc. in New York, was Parhamovich's boss when she worked for film company Miramax about four years ago. The two remained close friends and later, she was supposed to help him start his company, but then he recommended she go to Air America.In Iraq, she wanted to work on spreading democracy there for about a year, then use that experience to perhaps work with a presidential candidate on foreign affairs, Hiltzik said.A run for Congress also was in her dreams, he said.Parhamovich, a liberal who had worked for a Republican Massachusetts governor, was an avid Cleveland Indians and Browns fan who had a fondness for the underdog. "She always felt for Marty Schottenheimer," Hiltzik said.She named the fantasy football team the two had after the San Diego Chargers coach who is the most successful one never to have reached the Super Bowl.There have been no public services set at this time, but arrangements will be made through Johnson Funeral Home of Painesville.The Associated Press and New York Times contributed to this article.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN

Brian's 30th birthday is tomorrow. I'm so excited to celebrate it this weekend! Happy Birthday baby-doll!

My heartbreak

OSU lost to the Gators 41-14. What the hell happened? I think it was the fact that the Bucks didn't play a game for 50 days prior to that game. I don't think it was the Heisman curse. Screw that idea. I was so sad. What makes it more sad now is that I owe my cousin 1 million dollars or 1 million jr cheeseburgers! :) She is a Gator. How do I face her this summer when she comes to visit, especially after all my trash talking? I'll be a woman about it and just egg her car!

I'm cold

For some reason the only warm place in our apartment is in our bedroom or up in the loft upstairs. My bedroom is actually too warm, more like a suana. It is lightly snowing outside right now. I was just thinking about the fact that tomorrow I go back to work for the first time in over 2 months. I think I'm ready. The time off was more than great though! I needed it.
I walked the dogs outside yesterday. Not very far though. I noticed that the tulips I planted last spring are coming up through the ground again. I can't believe that the ground is that warm and the weather has been so wonderful that the tulips are starting to grow. I never bought my calla lillies in the pot in. I went over to them and noticed that they are growing also. This is crazy! But it made me smile. Spring isn't too far away. Yeah I know that winter's offical start was only 3 weeks ago, but still, spring is coming soon! I can't wait!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2007!!!!

ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

I just got back from seeing Rocky Balboa with a group of friends. There was pretty much an entire row of us. I am pleased to annouce that I liked the movie. I was a little nervous at first because I thought the movie would be unbelievable, but it was very good. I loved it!!! And Tony didn't wet his pants!! Right now I'm really looking forward to seeing Transformers and Harry Potter. But I have to wait all the way till July! 7 and half more months for crying out loud!!
I'm glad they did a Rocky 6! It well made up for the piece of shit that was Rocky 5.
No one, not even Rocky fans liked that sorry excuse for a film! Rocky Balboa (rocky 6) gets 2 chocolate and butter covered thumbs up!! ( I like eating M&M's and popcorn in the same mouth full! Like chocolate covered popcorn!:)

updates

I've been pretty bad on the updates. But it's not like I'm doing much sitting at home! My knee is healing though it looks like there is still some swelling in it. The doc my have to stick a needle in there and drain it he said. Not looking forward to that. I feel like I've been through enough already this year! We haven't done a lot at all since I'm stuck at home. I updated my MYSPACE page. Oh boy! hee hee. Actually I like it a lot more than I did before. I think it's pretty off the hook now! Don't hate!
We had people over for the OSU/Michigan game! I can't believe that the Buckeyes are going to be playing my cousins Gators. I'm thinking of sending her a Gator Hunter T-shirt with Jim Tressel on it! Ah, i would be worth it I think! Nothing too much going on. Brian's cousin Jen got married this weekend. It was nice ceremony! We have been waiting for awhile for Pedro to get his visa. Now he is finally our family. What else is there? Nikya stayed for 3 days and drove me up a wall. I love her, but she is a non-stop machine always asking things over and over in hopes that she will wear you down and you will give in. The problem was was that I didn't give in so I got to be driven mad! I have to send the rest of our cards out. After that, that is it! Christmas is almost here. My favorite time of the year! Merry Christmas everyone! ANd Happy New Year!!!

my knee

I had surgery on my knee finally. They took the hamstring tendon and used it to repair the ACL that was torn.. Also they had to "shave" down the medial menicus. The doctor poked holes in the menicus to get it to bleed. They said it clotted and that tissue would end up becoming a healed menicus. Kind of strange, but cool I guess.
I woke up and felt like shit! They did a femoral block but for some reason it was hurting. Really painful. My oxygen levels kept going down to the low 80's. Usually it's suppose to be in the upper 90's to 100. I started to throw up quite a bit. So I ended up staying. Which I'm glad that I was staying. I don't think I would've been very good at home. I'm posting some post-op pics. Kind of gross, but cool! Frank, my best friend, took some pics at the doctors office after the doc took off my dressings. Then he took me over to rehab... I did exercises and iced it. I liked the compression ice device. It felt great!